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[DwarfyDwarf]

I'm here to ask about your most awesome(or stupidest) fortress stories.

Here's mine:
I was next to a river, and, being kinda new to DF, decided to make a screwpump to 'train' my dwarves. So I made a channel connecting to the river at one end and the end of the screw pump at the other. I then decided to build a waterwheel. I connected it to the pump, and before I knew it, it was spewing water everywhere.Before I could deconstruct it, my carpenter calceled because of 'Dangerous Terrain'. The water spread out to fill the entire screen and, my fortress being completely underground, flooded my fortress.My mason was on the bottom leve and had to wallhimself in so he wouldn't drown. He then died of dehydration. All of my people were locked inside, and i told my miners to dig a new way out so we could escape. Being stupid, they went upstairs and outside to build down and in instead of the other, better way. They were swept into the river and drowned. Having no way out and, being bored, I built a small room with some wood and holed everyone in. I linked a lever to the door keeping my people safe and pulled the switch, drowning all the animals and killing one dwarf who was too late to get to the 'saferoom'. I then got quit, came back as an adventurer. I went to the site, and got swept into the same place as my dead miners and drowned because I forgot to learn about Swimming.

[Eztuzt]

Back in 40d, in my first fortress ever that I actually knew what I was doing (Read: figured out how to dig) I had actually gotten pretty far. To around 150 people if I remember correctly.

They lived under horrible conditions, but were all happy somehow. I mean ecstatic. I didn't pay much attention to that, but one day that changed. After my 3-5th goblin invasion ever, I actually couldn't keep them out. They got inside and chaos was everywhere. Many good dwarves were injured and killed. I had my first tantrum spirals. About 40 of my dwarves were gone, leaving me with a grand total of 110, of which atleast 25 were injured. I then got bored with the micro-managing to send dwarves back to work and re-assign everything. So, like anyone else would do, I dug out a 7x7 room deep underground in true airlock fashion connecting to my magma pipe. I put a pressure plate a z-level down underneath a metal grate connected to the exit door (the one not near the magma) and ordered every single one of my dwarves to go there. Every single one of the 85 able bodied dwarves showed up as planned, except for my best soldier who survived the goblins and was ordered to pull the trigger and release the lava the next time a goblin invasion happened.

In due time, my dwarves inside the panic room were getting angsty and starving. Then luck came as goblins charged (Read:walked) into my bedrooms (Where the injured dwarves were still resting) and started slaughtering them all. Tantrums began happening left and right inside the panic room. Dwarves went insane, dwarves went berserk. Then the goblins mopped up the injured dwarves, and the trigger was pulled. The lava flowed in and began burning all of the dwarve's ankles, until falling on the pressure plate and releasing them. Flaming dwarves left and right charges, going berserk and all and spreading the fires. The goblins wanted in on this, so they started attacking them too. There were no survivors.


tl;dr I turned my first functioning fort into a dwarf fire-bomb.

[Geb]

Also back in the days of 40d, I was trying to penetrate an aquifer by the cave-in method. It was the first time I had tried it and so without experience to guide me, I collapsed a ring of soil down into a 3*3 hole in the aquifer, leaving one single safe tile through which I could get down. One single tile without a staircase.

I had picked the location to start digging very carefully so I didn't want to abandon the pit and try again, so I came up with a cunning plan to push a dwarf down the hole by having my starting seven train wrestling in the mineshaft. Once the careless fighting on the lip of the pit had the inevitable result, I could then dump a log down the hole, have the dwarf build stairs, and all would be well.

It didn't work out like that.

During training, three of my starting seven got shoved down the wrong hole and drowned in my well. The rest all became champions. Nobody would work. Traders came, and nobody would sieze goods. Nobody would gather plants. I was hoping for migrants, but none came because the only wealth I had produced was a hole in the ground with rotting drowned corpses in it.

I kept the game going, waiting to see if the champions could survive on automaticaly hunting vermin for food, but they fought on training themselves into starvation, and by then there was no food stockpile left to attract vermin.

The solitary achievement of the fort was the digging a hole in the soil layer.