Here's a little story that's been I've been working on for a little bit for the last few weeks. I've got it started, but I haven't made up my mind yet where it's going, or even on a title. I think I may have over done the cheese setting it up...
“I can't believe that you got salvage rights to the old Von Klegg hunting lodge so easily.” George remarked as he steered the large empty moving truck down the narrow back road that cut deep into the forest. “You'd think that there'd be someone else who'd be willing to come out here. The Von Klegg's had quite a fortune...”
“I can believe it,” Molly replied as she imagined the infamous Von Klegg collection (rumored to be quite vast) up for bids at her auction house. “They're all to chicken to drive out here. They think the lodge is 'cursed' and 'evil'.” Molly made quotation marks with her fingers at the words “cursed” and “evil”. “Cowards. What I can't believe is that we're only allowed twenty-four hours to load up whatever valuables we can find before the demolition crew shows up to blow the place up. The place is huge, it'd take weeks to go through it all properly!”
“Why do we have to be the ones to ignore curse?” asked George steering the truck around a corner. “Not wanting to die a horrible, premature death isn't cowardice...”
“I'm not ignoring the curse, silly,” said Molly. “I'm just not letting it scare me away from going about my business.”
“You aren't inspiring any confidence...” said George as he watched as a small collection of overgrown buildings came into view along either side of the road.
“After all those times I've saved your butt?” asked Molly. “Can we stop here for some gas?” she asked pointing to an old gas station that had antique pumps and a thick growth of ivy climbing up the side of the concrete building. Hand painted letters on the front of the building proudly announced that this was the local “Bait N' Gas”.
“Most of those times it was you who got me in trouble in the first place,” answered George pulling up alongside the pump. He climbed out of the cab and lifted the nozzle from the pump.
“Stop worrying about any curses, will you?” said Molly as she climbed out of the cab of the truck, “I can handle it. And the gas tank is on the other side... I'm gonna go grab some coffee while you fill her up.”
George grumbled and returned the nozzle to it's spot. As Molly strolled across the lot towards the building, George climbed into the moving van and moved it to the other side of the pump.
Molly walked into the building to find cases full of live bait dominating the center of the room. Fishing poles were proudly merchandised at one end of the room. Molly took off her sunglasses and walked to the coffee pot, placed on the counter between the sign announcing that fishing licenses could be bought her and the soda fountain.
As Molly reached for a Styrofoam cup cup, the clerk came to the counter and announced “Howdy ma'am. Don't see to many moving vans out here.”
“I imagine you don't...” said Molly as she filled the cup with coffee. “We're headed up to the Von Klegg place. That isn't far from here, is it?”
“Naw, it ain't far,” said the clerk, “Just up the road at the top of the hill. They're gonna blow it up so they can put in the Highway Q Business Loop. We're really excited about the business loop.”
“You're getting a business loop here?” asked Molly “Do you have businesses here? Is this even a town?”
“Yes it is, this is the city of Evilglen. We got a drug store, and a bait shop and-”
“I know. We're AT the bait shop...” said Molly.
“-and a abandoned grain elevator, and a abandoned stop sign factory and the old lead mine. But there's talk that we might get a Dairy Queen once the business loop comes in.”
“And is the lead mine abandoned, too?” asked Molly.
“Naw,” said the clerk. “It's haunted. Say. Ya'll wanna get a fishin' license and some bait while you're here. The fishing out in Hedgewood is like none anywhere else.”
“We gonna be too busy up at the Von Klegg place,” said Molly, “Sorry.”
“You two aren't more of the demolition crew are ya?” asked the clerk.
“More?” asked Molly. “The blasting crew isn't supposed to show until tomorrow?”
“Already had one of 'em come through.” said the clerk. “A short guy. Big ol' beard.”
“Did he drive what looked like a go-kart and wreck stuff as he came through?” asked Molly.
“Naw, he drove up in a big ol' van truck hauling a trailer.” said the clerk. “Came in swearin' like a sailor with at a swearin' contest.”
“Crazy Urist,” Molly grumbled. She set the coffee cup down on the counter and smiled at the clerk. “On second thought, I think I'll take a cooler full of nightcrawlers...”
A few minutes later Molly returned to the truck carrying two Styrofoam cups and a Styrofoam cooler as George was busy cleaning the truck's windows.
“How many bugs can one windshield collect on one little trip?” asked George.
“I brought you some coffee,” said Molly.
“Thank you,” said George taking his cup of coffee from Molly. “What's in the cooler?”
“Worms.” said Molly as she sipped from her coffee cup.
“Worms?” asked George.
“Worms,” answered Molly as she climbed back into the cab of the moving truck, “Now let's get back on the road, we've got lots of work to do.”
“What're the worms for?” asked George as he climbed into the moving truck as well. “You're not getting me in trouble again?”
“Don't worry about the worms.” said Molly. “Oh, I just found out that our old 'friend' Crazy Urist is trying to steal our salvage.”
“You are getting me into trouble again, aren't you?” said George.
“Stop being such a girl about these things,” said Molly. “We're just going to release these nightcrawlers into his van and let them ferment while he's stealing our salvage. The salvage that I paid for the rights to. With any luck he's parked in a nice sunny spot...”
“Ah, don't worry about Crazy Urist,” said George as he pulled back onto the road and resumed the drive towards the Von Klegg place. “He's just some weird dwarf who sells junk in his discount antique store and is constantly spouting bizarre conspiracy theories.”
“Don't worry about Crazy Urist?!” Fumed Molly “The junk he sells in that antique store is junk that I should be selling at my auction house. He and his six brothers and sister's have cheated me out of junk that should be mine for the last time...”
“What do you mean 'for the last time'?” asked George, “What do you got against Crazy Urist?”
“I don't wanna talk about it,” she answered.
“You sure?” George prodded.
“I'm sure,” she answered as she pulled out her Hello Kitty butterfly knife and handed it to George, “While I'm dumping the worms into his seats, you go slash his tires.”
George took the knife and stopped in front of a big wrought iron gate.
“I think we're here,” he said.
Molly jumped out the cab of the idling tuck and walked to the big iron gate. The hunting lodge's yard was circled by a massive stone fence that had at one time held the surrounding forest at bay, but in the decades since the hunting lodge had been abandoned the gnarled black trees of the forest had taken over and had overrun the Von Klegg family's once pristine gardens. Though the wrought iron gate was rusted, the gate still swung open easily at Molly's push.
Molly climbed back into the cab of the truck and said, “Back up to the front door. That way we can save time loading up.”
“Sure thing boss,” said George as he drove along the long drive up to the front of the house. Statuary lined the driveway and had become overgrown by thorny vines so that the figures the statues depicted appeared as if they were being strangled by thorny tentacles. George managed to knock one of the smaller statues over as he maneuvered the truck into position in front of the mansion.
“I don't see Crazy Urist's van anywhere,” said George as he climbed from the truck, “Are you sure, he's here?”
“Why the hell else would he come all the way out here?” said Molly as she retrieved her Styrofoam cooler and hopped out of the van. “He's probably parked around the other side, let's go find it.”
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Topic: Cheesy Work In Progress story (Read 776 times)