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[Karnewarrior]

Spoiler: BAY12, THE SAGA OF VESTERS HAIR. (click to show/hide)

 Toonyman sat down in the seat opposite Vester, staring at her awesome hair. Seriously, it was perfect and shiny and almost like a beetles carapace, exept in thousands of strands of awesome. He reached out to touch it, but Vester stayed his hand.
 "Not now. Wait until we get to /tg/..."
 Toonyman frowned. He wanted to be with Vester. And her hair! You know what, just her hair. He didn't care alot about the rest of her, he just wanted the hair. A bit of drool dripped from Toonymans mouth, which was slack with awe at the shining strands of-
 BWAP! Vester slapped Toony out of his reverie. Toony almost immediately returned to it, however, when the woman blew a strand of beautiful hair out of her eye. Did I mention it was awesome and beautiful and everything a hair enthusiast could ever want? Of course I did, and I'll do it again, just you watch.
 Vester grunted as she picked up a chair and hurled it into the prone form of Toonyman, who only moved to keep an eye on Vesters hair. Vester screamed in outrage and began to kick Toony hard in the ribs. Several cracked, but Toony didn't notice. The haiiirr....
 Finally fed up, Vester hurled one last kick at Toony and stalked out of the bar. Outside sat a small girl holding a tiny white kitten.
 "I told you so." Said Lokii, grinning evilly. The kitten purred.

  I am evil. Also, if there's a part II, Lokii will be a James-Bond-esqe villan. Dun dun dunna, dun dunna, dun dadadaaaaa!!!!

[Jimmy]

Disclaimer: Not written by me.

http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/original-stories-prose/my-book-the-price-of-sexy-love-please-read-and-rate/t.44042817/

It seriously takes talent to write something this bad. Read it to the end, it's worth it.

[Heron TSG]

I think that it's a parody of a badfic, but I'm not entirely sure of that.

[Jackrabbit]

I reckon it was. I was about to make a joke about how the guy's sensitive side was showing and the fic made it for me.

[Org]

Spoiler: BAY12, THE SAGA OF VESTERS HAIR. (click to show/hide)

 Toonyman sat down in the seat opposite Vester, staring at her awesome hair. Seriously, it was perfect and shiny and almost like a beetles carapace, exept in thousands of strands of awesome. He reached out to touch it, but Vester stayed his hand.
 "Not now. Wait until we get to /tg/..."
 Toonyman frowned. He wanted to be with Vester. And her hair! You know what, just her hair. He didn't care alot about the rest of her, he just wanted the hair. A bit of drool dripped from Toonymans mouth, which was slack with awe at the shining strands of-
 BWAP! Vester slapped Toony out of his reverie. Toony almost immediately returned to it, however, when the woman blew a strand of beautiful hair out of her eye. Did I mention it was awesome and beautiful and everything a hair enthusiast could ever want? Of course I did, and I'll do it again, just you watch.
 Vester grunted as she picked up a chair and hurled it into the prone form of Toonyman, who only moved to keep an eye on Vesters hair. Vester screamed in outrage and began to kick Toony hard in the ribs. Several cracked, but Toony didn't notice. The haiiirr....
 Finally fed up, Vester hurled one last kick at Toony and stalked out of the bar. Outside sat a small girl holding a tiny white kitten.
 "I told you so." Said Lokii, grinning evilly. The kitten purred.

  I am evil. Also, if there's a part II, Lokii will be a James-Bond-esqe villan. Dun dun dunna, dun dunna, dun dadadaaaaa!!!!

this is very creepy.
In more ways than one.

[Akroma]

dear god, this is still around ?




no, bad forumnites




drop it

[Jackrabbit]

Blame Taco Dan for encouraging Karnewarrior. And for pretty much everything else.

Finger pointed squarely at you, Taco.

[Duke 2.0]

 Then again, originally it was WorkerDrone egging me on. And I suspected Janet had a hand in there somewhere.

 But my honor was retained through not ever locking this thread and the worst it ever got to was people complaining about how terrible it is without anything terribly terrible. I'm proud of you guys for not taking this too far.

[Il Palazzo]

It was a dark, stormy night in Transyvlamia. Thunders roared as lightenings stroke across the sky. In the gloomy forest below, a lone mansion stood braving the wilderness with it's sturdy stonework.
Creatures of the dark scurried by it's windows, sometimes stopping to listen to the sounds seeping from within. Inside, a familiar ritual was being conducted.
"Please my love, I can't take in any more." Whimpered Kaernwariorr.
"Do eat up dear, I made this especially for you. Just as you like it." WorderKrone insisted in a vaguely threatening manner.
"But I'm full. And just look at me, I've grown fat, I'm ugly now!"
"Of course you're not. I love your body. I love it all, the more the better. Now, open your sweet mouth and eat up."
WorderKrone wiped the sweat off his brow, hauling this much food was a hard work, especially for his frail body. Too bad his trusty powered armour suit broke down, carrying those buckets would be so much easier. But then, it would probably scare his precious Kaernwariorr.
He looked upon his lover and admired the splendid body, which he himself helped nurture. The multiple chins, more bold than even legendary Aquizarr's. The mighty hill of his belly, now full and satiated, with thick stumps of limbs protruding from it's sides, apathetically wiggling - so useless and purely decorative.
"Brrruup" - A loud sound of intestinal transportation came out of the fat mountain.
"I can hear you're getting hungry again."
"No, I'm not. I've had enough." Said Kaern pleadingly.
"Yes you are. I love you and I know better." There was no room for disagreement in WorderKrone's voice.
"Yes, I'm hungry"
"Good boy. I'll get you something to eat then."

Phatos wondered how did he get here. Just a while back he left McPluto's with a supply of triple McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurgers^TM, and now he was walking through a forest, storm raging above. He could've sworn that there was no forest near McPluto's, but then, he rarely strayed off the usual route between his house and the fast food center, so he admitted to himself that he might've been wrong.
As he was chewing on one of the burgers, he saw a light in the distance.
"Dear me, must be a gas station. I hope they got some Cloacola, I'm getting thirsty."

Later that night, as WorderKrone was cleaning the mincing machine, he reflected on all the years he and his mate spent together. It was a good life. They had each other, and they needed each other. No troublesome neighbours to annoy them, nothing to interrupt their happiness.
The location was really convenient too. A dimensional rift leading straight to McPluto's made getting food so much easier. And Kaernwariorr needed a lot of that. He smiled as he thought of his lover, then finished the last bit of McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurger^TM, picked up the buckets and headed towards the bedroom, where the might body of Kaern waited to be fed.
"Hello, dear, it's dinner time."

(any possible similarity of names and places to the real ones is purely coincidental)

[Lokii]

Whoa. Wait what?

 I'm the villain, so I have to die, I guess, huh?

[Heron TSG]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It was a dark, stormy night in Transyvlamia. Thunders roared as lightenings stroke across the sky. In the gloomy forest below, a lone mansion stood braving the wilderness with it's sturdy stonework.
Creatures of the dark scurried by it's windows, sometimes stopping to listen to the sounds seeping from within. Inside, a familiar ritual was being conducted.
"Please my love, I can't take in any more." Whimpered Kaernwariorr.
"Do eat up dear, I made this especially for you. Just as you like it." WorderKrone insisted in a vaguely threatening manner.
"But I'm full. And just look at me, I've grown fat, I'm ugly now!"
"Of course you're not. I love your body. I love it all, the more the better. Now, open your sweet mouth and eat up."
WorderKrone wiped the sweat off his brow, hauling this much food was a hard work, especially for his frail body. Too bad his trusty powered armour suit broke down, carrying those buckets would be so much easier. But then, it would probably scare his precious Kaernwariorr.
He looked upon his lover and admired the splendid body, which he himself helped nurture. The multiple chins, more bold than even legendary Aquizarr's. The mighty hill of his belly, now full and satiated, with thick stumps of limbs protruding from it's sides, apathetically wiggling - so useless and purely decorative.
"Brrruup" - A loud sound of intestinal transportation came out of the fat mountain.
"I can hear you're getting hungry again."
"No, I'm not. I've had enough." Said Kaern pleadingly.
"Yes you are. I love you and I know better." There was no room for disagreement in WorderKrone's voice.
"Yes, I'm hungry"
"Good boy. I'll get you something to eat then."

Phatos wondered how did he get here. Just a while back he left McPluto's with a supply of triple McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurgers^TM, and now he was walking through a forest, storm raging above. He could've sworn that there was no forest near McPluto's, but then, he rarely strayed off the usual route between his house and the fast food center, so he admitted to himself that he might've been wrong.
As he was chewing on one of the burgers, he saw a light in the distance.
"Dear me, must be a gas station. I hope they got some Cloacola, I'm getting thirsty."

Later that night, as WorderKrone was cleaning the mincing machine, he reflected on all the years he and his mate spent together. It was a good life. They had each other, and they needed each other. No troublesome neighbours to annoy them, nothing to interrupt their happiness.
The location was really convenient too. A dimensional rift leading straight to McPluto's made getting food so much easier. And Kaernwariorr needed a lot of that. He smiled as he thought of his lover, then finished the last bit of McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurger^TM, picked up the buckets and headed towards the bedroom, where the might body of Kaern waited to be fed.
"Hello, dear, it's dinner time."

(any possible similarity of names and places to the real ones is purely coincidental)

That's pretty weird, but who is this Phatos and why is he there? Does he play a part?

Cloacola sounds nasty, I'd have to say.

[Il Palazzo]

That's pretty weird, but who is this Phatos and why is he there? Does he play a part?

Oh, come on. He's there, 'till the end. It's not that hard to figure it out.

[Karnewarrior]

That was very disturbing. I'm anorexic now, Palazzo.

[Taco Dan]

I want a McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurger^TM. It sounds delicious.