I know nothing about it, except that it's apparently an adventure game, apparently in space.
Let us begin. After skipping the credits, we reach the first screen, in which a greaser stares malevolently at a small naked person carrying an arrow. I'm not sure what the arrow is, or why Fonzi is so angry. Let's play on, and find out.
Or why he's wearing red slacks.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do next. There isn't a new game or continue or anything button.
I guess I'm just supposed to sit here and stare at this guy and ponder. It's one of those new age games, where I contemplate things.
After a bit of pondering, I discover that the arrow is actually my cursor. The tiny naked person is obviously a slave of some sort. I like this game. I also discover that right-clicking changes the cursor, so you can pick up items, talk to people, whatever. I give my slave a rest and see if the other cursors will enable escape.
Look, I'm Mick Jagger.
Through this process, I learn that the Greaser is Jack T. Ladd, and he is apparently the player character. Great, Jack, now tell me what I'm supposed to do.
I finally figure it out. That's the pause screen. I was supposed to press escape to skip the credits, not spacebar. Great, now we're in.
I'm informed I'm in the Tayte System. That's a dumb name, what happened to stuff like the Rigel System, and the Gamma Quadrant? Laaaaame.
I do get this cool ship though.
Then something bad happens. I fly past a large asteroid, and a huge scary ship slides out of the shadows.
Note the bright coloration and spines. Classic "Do not touch" signal in nature.
I do my best to flee, but it chases me down and devours me.
Om nom nom nom nom.
I get out of my ship and check the place out.
Beats me, man.
Shortly thereafter, a redshirt shows up and demands I follow him. I wanted to use my kung fu, but decided to go peacefully.
But not without small talk.
Knowing I'm trying to bore him to death, he calls for backup.
I try to quickly neutralize him with a horrible joke before his friend arrives, but fail. I shout, "I'm not nefarious!"
Critical hit! It's not very effective...
Oh no, clones!
They drag me off. I command my cursor-slave to help me, but it doesn't respond. I'll kill it and buy a new one once I'm off this ship. They throw me to the ground and point into a dark room, demanding I enter.
And I do, no questions asked.
I find myself in a dark room. A light flicks on, and I'm greeted by two men. I demand they identify themselves! Who dares capture Jack T. Ladd, spaceguy extraordinaire?
I'm screwed.
I learn that I'm an interstellar criminal, and have millions of credits in taxes due. I'm accosted by their rape-bot, who takes my money and my candy.
Nooooo!
They tell me I have twenty eight days to gather the funds...
Looks like I've got one choice. With the help of my razor wit, charm, and cursor-slave, I will save myself from certain death. I'm ejected from the IRDS ship and land on the planet Tayte. I enter the nearest building, and with that I end the first update of the LP. Next update we'll see just how deep I'm in, and if there's any way I can make it in 28 days. Good luck, Jack T. Ladd, and godspeed.
Next update probably tomorrow.
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Topic: Me Too - Abandonia Blind Play - Dragon Wars (Read 1242 times)