- Why don't go smith yourself a bunch of razorblades and see if you can make them sharp enough to cut that thin beard of yours.
- Aye, his skull is thicker than granite. Might as well try to teach a stone golem to swim.
- Smoothchin.
- Urist! Oweryadoin', ye old koboldlover!
- Son, that's not a proper way to hold a chisel! Here, hold it like this. I swear, if I wasn't here to show you things you'd end up a carpenter like that McUrist lass. And no son of mine is a woodhumper! That's a job for the elves.
- Her mind is as empty as an ale barrel after harvest.
- Ugh! Urist, you reek worse than an old goblin! What in the nine hells have you been doing, sleeping on a pile of logs like an elf?
- She's cheaper than a green glass gem. One sip of that lousy whip wine and she's ready warm up any dwarf's bed. Even that beardless woodcutter McUrist!
McUrist Jr: "Daddy, what's an elf like?"
Daddy McUrist: "Elf? Hmmmm. Remember what that dead cave spider smelled like? Well, elves smell -worse-. And they're dumber than that goblin I chased to the river. The one that got eaten by a carp. Elves tell everyone how "They're one with nature" and how they can "Listen and understand the animals" and all that crap, but in reality they smell so awful that no animal will eat them! Also, elves make -everything- out of wood. Even their axes. Makes you wonder how they cut down a tree in the first place. Oh and, there's one more thing about elves, not sure if you'll believe me, son, but..."
McUrist Jr: "What! What is it! Tell me! Tell me!"
Daddy McUrist: "Elves have NO BEARDS! Their cheeks are as smooth as the obsidian wall in the dining hall. They couldn't grow a beard even if they wanted to!"
McUrist Jr: "Ahahahaha!"
Daddy McUrist: "Hahaha!"
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Topic: Post your dwarfy insults here! (Read 7805 times)