Had the urge to write up a song, so here goes...
My grandpappy was a sailor and he liked to tinker tin,
He used to make little sailing ships and ladles for the kitchen,
I used to like him though it's been a time,
But then I walked in on him and his mistress, not his wife!
His face went red and he said a stammered herd of words,
I just shut the door shut and went out after the birds.
And when grandma found out, oh there was hell see,
Turns out it was her step-sister, Great-aunt Jen Daisey!
Now I was just a boy and didn't know much about adultery,
Or what happens when you put your pee-pee in a woman, like my grandpappy did to Great-Aunt Daisey,
But to be honest it was all beyond little old me,
Because I was just a little lad from a little town in Tennessee.
But when grandma kicked out grandpa and he only had a bottle of cider as his side-arm,
I can only guess as to why it shook when Daisey visited him in his car.
Then one day my mama told me grandpa had drove out of the states,
Took everything he could from grandma even the roofing slates.
A few years later my grandpappy came back to town,
And when he went begging back to grandma, oh boy, what a sound,
She hit him with his tin ladle and chased him down the yard,
Now he's got an ass with a tin ladle-shaped scar.
Now I was just a boy and didn't know much about adultery,
Or what happens when you put your pee-pee in a woman, like my grandpappy did to Great-Aunt Daisey,
But to be honest it was all beyond little old me,
Because I was just a little lad from a little town in Tennessee.