The full text of the ancient Dwarven Hippocratic Oath, translated from the original dwarven. Translation notes made where appropriate.
I swear by Armok, the destroyer, Ironblood, Morul, and Cacame, and all the heroes, all the acceptable casualties, to keep according to my ability and whimsy, the following Oath and agreement:
To consider dear to me, as my parents1, him who taught me this art; to live in common with him and, if necessary, to share my booze with him; to look upon his children as my own toys, to teach them the meaning of fun2.
I will prescribe regimens upon my patients for the entertainment of myself, according to my mood and whimsy, and not fear to do harm to anyone, regardless of rank or status.
I will prescribe a lethal drug to anyone if asked, and will advise in favour of such a plan, regardless of circumstances. Similarly, I will refrain from giving a woman a pessary for any reason3
But I will preserve the purity of my blood and beard4.
I will not cut for stone, even for patients in whom the disease is manifest; I will leave this operation to be performed by the legendary practicioners, specialists in their art5.
In every house where I come I will enter for the good of my patients, whether they want it or not. I will keep myself from pleasures of love with all persons until I know whether they are male or female.
All that may come to my knowledge in the exercise of my profession or in daily commerce which ought never to have been known, I will keep secret until such time as it is ready to reveal for science.6
If I keep this oath faithfully, may I enjoy my life and practice my art, feared by all peoples and in all times; but if I swerve from it or violate it, may the torture of the unwet beard 7 be my lot.
1. Trans note, This is a traditional dwarven idiom, notoriously difficult to translate. It carries connotations of vengeance for wrongs no longer quite remembered, as well as a strong degree of respect and fear. In this sense, its meaning is that the Oathtaker is deathly afraid of his trainer.
2. Trans note, This idiom has been left intentionally untranslated.
3. Trans note, Due to the previous lines, it is generally believed that the author does not actually know what a pessary is. Recent research has indicated that the author believed that a pessary was an artificial beard, see Urist et al, 2618 Whisperfears.
4. Trans note, "The purity of my blood and beard" is a traditional oath, roughly equivalent to a human swearing on his honour.
5. Trans note, Cut for stone refers to the practice of striking a dwarf with a pick in the hopes of curing them of some ailment. Originally performed by doctors, this practice was taken over by professional miners after a series of hopefully apocraphyl incidents in which thousands were killed by incorrect application of the technique. It is believed that the disease referenced in this passage is immolation, which was considered to be a communicable disease at the time.
6. Trans note, For science is a concept which is generally untranslatable into Human, see Urist, Meng, and Magma 2172 Laughingdeaths for the most comprehensive attempt to translate it.
7. Trans note, "The torture of the unwet beard" is the most extreme of dwarven curses, see the Legend of Urist McTantalus for a more in depth description of its origins.