So there they were, at their new home surrounded by mountains. Nice flowing river, lots of gems and not a lot of those annoying trees that always seem to bring forward those annoying tree creatures.
A digging plan was decided upon after much consideration. "We need to plan forward", he said. "We'll need a well eventually. And food and lots of booze". So they dug place for 8 huge farm plots, along an irrigation system and pipes that went down into the Earth so later that well could be built. Mechanisms were constructed, flood gates were placed, levers were linked. And there was much rejoicing. Especially by the woodcutter because he enjoyed so much his work.
The levers were pulled and in came the water, flooding all the plots and covering them with mud. The levers went down again to help drain the farms and dwarves started salivating at the prospect of food and beer. One can only survive so long from eating grass.
"Soon it will all evaporate" he said. So they waited a little bit, busy in other tasks. And waited more. And more. "Look, it's just not going down, perhaps we should open the doors and let it spread because we need to eat more than we need the sand around us". "No, not yet! It hasn't drained and I hate water!" exclaimed the expedition leader. But it was getting late and all sort of stuff was starting to grow in the plots.
So the happy woodcutter thought "Hey, my job is to cut wood and there's wood growing down there. Lets follow orders!". He went through the doors and a bit of water splashed through as he closed it behind. With water up to his neck, he managed to cut down the wooden thing and leave. Soon there were also foragers picking up some fungus and haulers taking away boulders, and in the end the expedition leader had to concede, open the doors and say goodbye to the sand and his dreams of a crystal office. So he opened the doors and in came rushing the water! It seemed it was taking quite its time to evaporate though, and the dwarves were starting to get really weird.
Eventually they managed to put down a couple of the plots and start planting plump helmets on one, with the promise of food, drinks and maybe a solid platinum office desk. Seed seed seed, grow grow grow. Mind to other matters, like making buckets, an open sky refuse pit, a... what the! What happened to that plot? No one is seeding it and it looks a bit spoiled. Oh well, maybe some farmer will fix it, maybe they're giving the soil a rest.
But no, after a while it was still broken! Oh well, maybe it was the rats, evaporating mud or who knows. They planted another one. Which broke. And another. Which broke again. By that time it was hard enough trying to keep the dwarves going bonkers from now and then and hitting each other to see what was happening with the farms. Until the soap maker, who was also seeding like the rest of the dwarves including the new migrants, was caught in the act! The bastard threw a tantrum when the plot was half seeded and ruined it!
And so the race started. How quickly can the plants be seeded and mature? Can they beat another raging dwarf? Do they really have to run in circles for ages with a benny hill music because the lye maker has gone insane and wants to "process" them? They're like 10! The insanity was spreading, and the new migrants who arrived having heard of the promises of ample food and booze were constantly run off by the current inmates as rage invaded the farmers when they saw their almost ripe plot getting stomped on. The military didn't do much good either, their commander going crazy from time to time too.
In the end they managed to finally get a crop going. They didn't mind the miasma everywhere, the corpses and blood of their murdered companions everywhere. 40 dead dwarves later, the first farm plot was finally going on strong. Perseverance paid off.
What they didn't know, as they were about to recover from starvation and were finishing that open refuse pit and welcoming the new migrants, was that goblin invaders were on the way. Completely unprepared and still weak, with broken arms and legs, the invaders quickly ran off the dwarves and proceeded to munch on the tasty mushrooms, bone soup and dwarf jerky that was left behind. They left well fed.
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Topic: Food or blood, a short story (Read 766 times)