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[johnweise]

Ive been playing for a while now and haven't gotten the baron!

Ive been working really hard and got fortress wealth of 350000+ many jobs and a huge castle, met all the demands of nobles and traded with caravan. WTF!

Also, Im in year 7 and i've never been attacked. I keep preparing for a war that never happens! Ive played this game for months with many worlds and never had a single attack form more than 1 Kobold!! WTF!!

[Shrike]

Well, how many dwarves do you have?

And attacks can depend on where you embarked, and if there are any hostile civilizations remaining at the end of world generation. Do you remember seeing what civs exist/have access to your  embark area?

Do the humans and elves send caravans?

[johnweise]

I have 116 Dwarves. I get elves and humans and Kobolds also have access. I tried seizing the caravan from the elves for 3 yrs and they just sent bigger!

[Varisma]

What is your population?

[johnweise]

116!^{I just told _you!}

[Shrike]

Well, I'm not sure... do you have a civilization for your dwarves?

[NW_Kohaku]

If he's getting migrants (and I doubt you could get 116 dwarves in 7 years any other way), it shouldn't be a migration issue.

All I really know about the requirements of getting a baron are in the wiki article, so check that, especially the jobs you are completing.  (Maybe you are being too focused on certain kinds of industry?)

Also, is your dwarven caravan surviving the trip back to the edge of the map, and are you trading them goods that were produced IN your fortress (not scavenged off of dead goblins, or otherwise grey items in parentheticals). 

Have you been giving gifts to the caravans?  You might need to give up about 10k in gifts.

[Shrike]

You don't have to give gifts for the baron to arrive... The bugger seems to only show up for sufficient population (and possibly sufficient fortress wealth).

Yeah, migration kinda means there is a civ.

But hey... some people would love to have a fortress with 116 dwarves and no nobility.

[Aspgren]

... my baron always shows up when I'm not ready. I'll have no choice but hand over the Sheriff's quarters to him while while I hurry to fix his place ... and before that is done something else comes up! always!

[elizar]

How about the economy. I think that if it is turned off, the Baron won't come. His arrival will activate the economy if it is not turned to off.

[Malibu Stacey]

I have Economy off & I have 180+ dwarves & a Duke in my current game. I did skip Baron however & go straight to Count. I'm pretty sure I got the Hammerer & Tax Collector before the Count (now Duke) showed up so you may be on to something.

johnweise The trigger for Count is 110 dwarves according to the Wiki so see what your next migration wave brings. Do you have a Hammerer & Tax Collector already? They should show up with the Baron.

[Loyal]

Have you been giving gifts to the caravans?  You might need to give up about 10k in gifts.

Offerings are only considered for The Incoming King, and even he only needs 5k.

[johnweise]

Sounds good! but i have a good and well equipped military and siege weapons all along the outside of the castle. the castle i moated and so is all outside structures. Im waiting for an attack!! all I get is Kobolds and they suck and come one at a time! Ive been seizing the shipments of the elves and they keep coming. I need a fight! 

[Malibu Stacey]

You should get goblin sieges once you hit 80 dwarves & you should have seen some goblin ambushes by now with that amount of wealth. Check the civilizations screen (c key) & see if you have a goblin civ listed nearby. If you don't it might mean you get no sieges unfortunately. Have you seen any Goblin Snatchers at all? You might need to abandon & start in a new place if that's the case.

If you want to get the kobolds to send ambushes let them steal a few things from you. Easy way to to make a honeypot stockpile of relatively high quality stuff somewhere they can access it but your dwarves don't go near. Put some traps around it as the kobold theives will not trigger traps but anything else which tries to get in there should. After they steal enough stuff they'll start sending Ambushes (they need to get off the map with the thing they're stealing for it to be successful so you will lose it forever, bear this in mind when you build your honeypot for them).

Once you get your noble the Elves should send a diplomat (assuming he wasn't killed already during worldgen, you can check this on the civ screen) & he'll ask you to limit yourselves to cutting only 100 trees a season. You can deny his requests which will annoy the hell out of the Elves. If you want to get the most annoyance out of them when they come to trade next spring first try selling them stuff made of either wood or anything made from animal parts like leather, bone etc (for lulz try selling them a wooden bin full of leather or a wooden barrel full of meat/tallow). Then without leaving the trade screen sieze all their goods. Then before they leave kill them in some way (sealing off the depot & flooding it is usually quickest/easiest but if you want to be creative you could use ballistas or traps or something). Those should upset them enough but if you want to be extra sure designate every tree on the map to be cut & leave your woodcutters to it. Elves are pretty crappy enemies even compared to goblins as they only send ambushes not sieges & they come riding Unicorns, wearing wooden armour & carrying wooden weapons so don't expect much of a fight if you have some half-decent Marksdwarves.