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Author Topic: Liasons suck  (Read 1305 times)

Beanchubbs

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Liasons suck
« on: January 04, 2010, 03:06:43 pm »

I had a few tame fire imps in my fort (modded it to allow them to be tamed). They were hanging around in my meeting hall while I set up their pillboxes, and my outpost liason walks in and kills both of them. Fire imps not being able to spawn, I was rather mad.

Anyone else have stories of liasons or diplomats pissing you off?
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Hortun

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2010, 03:10:17 pm »

I remember I had a buggy liason once. He apparently liked to ambush things a lot. He spent about a year sneaking around the surface of my fort and giving me pause messages that "A dwarf has sprung from an ambush!" as hi killed off local wildlife. He wouldn't stop to conduct the meeting until every wild animal was dead, which was a lot considering I never bothered hunting on that fort.
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Chicken Launcher

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2010, 03:41:26 pm »

Not specifically my liason, but a group of caravan guards pissed me off recently. Because goblins drop their narrow clothes everywhere when they die and I don't want to deal with 50 dwarves running out of my fortress to grab them, I came up with a simple solution: a drainable magma death pit to dispose of clothing but leave iron armor and weapons to be melted down. After a siege, about 20 of my dwarves were leading captured goblins to the pit, near my trade depot. The caravan guards rushed in to "SAVE THE DAY LOL" and covered the majority of my entrance hall in blood, useless clothing, and goblin corpses.

So I locked in the merchants and let them go insane. That'll show them to interfere with my plans.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2010, 03:43:32 pm by Chicken Launcher »
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Jack_Bread

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2010, 03:48:27 pm »

I remember I had a buggy liason once. He apparently liked to ambush things a lot. He spent about a year sneaking around the surface of my fort and giving me pause messages that "A dwarf has sprung from an ambush!" as hi killed off local wildlife. He wouldn't stop to conduct the meeting until every wild animal was dead, which was a lot considering I never bothered hunting on that fort.
This made me laugh HARD. xD

Loyal

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2010, 03:54:52 pm »

The mountainhomes sent me a liason with one foot and one eye missing. He kept hobbling around everywhere, falling unconcious every few steps, and stumbling down the stairs as he did so. It took him till midwinter to finally reach the mayor's office.

He went berserk on his way out. Can't say I blame him, but damn.
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Haspen

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2010, 04:05:39 pm »

A human liaison in one of my forts got in the middle of map and GOBLIN AMBUSH OH NOES!

He ran to the edge of the map (damn lucky he was for having 5 points in Agility, and ambushers not being snipers), turned right, ran to corner... turned right, to corner and so on, until he decided it will be best to run into my entrance. After, like, one and half lap. I imagine that dwarves keeping watch in my guards' tower were watching the show eating popcorn and humming "Benny Hill" chase theme to that.

Geez, those humans...
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Earth Striker Lurin

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2010, 04:19:32 pm »

current fort myself and two friends are playing together (we use the same map, same embark and basically see how the three of us tackle problems over voice chat with a common enough screen to relate.) and we noticed something very odd.

the dwarven Liason is an ELF.

an ELF!!

All three of us had him, same elf.  Same name.   We assume he was legendary as he ran at mach 9 accross the map. My friend's response: "Of COURSE he's legendary, the only elf the dwarves didn't kill..."
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Ubiq

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2010, 04:33:47 pm »

In one of my forts, my liason was a female dwarf with a very distinguished history of service in the name of our home civilization.  So the first caravan shows upl after trading, she heads to the meeting hall to find my Trader (who decided that now was as good a time as any to attend the party that was going on) and promptly dies.

Unfortunately, I don't notice this at first, but am busy setting up the mines several floors below. Much, much later on, I notice a pile of dwarf bones and a skull in the meeting hall as well as a bunch of dwarves with unhappy thoughts stemming from said death and the miasma that preceded said pile of bones.

I can't figure out what the deal is so I copy the Save folder for that fort and then abandon to find out who this Dwarf that I don't recognize is and find her in the Legends section. Remember how I said she had a very distinguished career? It was apparently enough that the Queen decided to reward her with a position as Fort Liason. At the tender young age of 165, which was three years before the fort was founded and, as a result, she dropped dead of old age shortly after reaching my fort.

She wound up with a pretty nice tomb as a result.
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Grendus

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2010, 10:07:54 pm »

I had a liaison wander into an ambush that had him completely surrounded.

He stayed to fight.




On the bright side, he was wearing four pieces of GCS silk clothing. I was able to buy the goods I was no longer able to order with his corpse. I don't think I even buried him, the jackass.
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Lord Dakoth

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2010, 12:25:57 am »

Liason punched clean through a GCS I was planning to use for silk farming. Bastard.
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Skorpion

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Re: Liasons suck
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2010, 01:00:19 am »

Human liason arrived minus a hand. Kept passing out, mayor was busy and so ignored him a bit.
Went bezerk on the way out, right next to the war dog I chained up to keep kobolds out. It killed him.
The humans sieged twice, then sent caravans.

20 years later, the queen arrived, and the humans sent a diplomat to request peace.
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A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.