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[KaelGotDwarves]

HARKEN to me, o' gentledwarves, as I relay the Ballad of Gomathgomath Gomathgomathgomathgomath Gomath!


"Bring out yer insane!" *CLANG*

The wagon made it's way through the shit-covered cobblestone streets of the underground fortress. The languishing masses of dwarves toiled through the blood, vomit, muck, bones, and assorted body parts with nary an askew glance.

"Bring out yer insane!" *CLANG*

The Fortress Guardsdwarf wheeled his wagon creakily through the gorgeous decorative marble and gold-inlaid tunnel that was covered in shit and stopped in front of a peasant dwarf carrying a dead-weight cheesemaker on his back.

The Dwarven Peasant motioned to the Guardsdwarf, "'Ere's one."
The Fortress Guardsdwarf leaned on his hammer as he got off the wagon because of his damaged spinal cord and thrust his cat-leather gloved hands forward, "That'll be nine gold."
The Cheesmaker stirred and quipped through his beard, "I'm not insane".
The Fortress Guardsdwarf quizzically tilted his head as only somedwarf with a broken spine can do, "Wat?"
The Dwarven Peasant looked pointedly at the Fortress Guardsdwarf, "Nothin'. 'Ere's yer nine gold."
The Cheesemaker quipped again, "I'm not insane."
The Fortress Guardsdwarf peered at the Cheesemaker from under his spiked helm covered in spiky spikes that were spiking spikedly, "'Ere, he says he's not insane."
The Peasant shrugged, "Yes 'e is."
The Cheesemaker fired back, "I'm not."
"He isn't," the Guardsdwarf agreed.
The Peasant sighed, "Well, 'e will be soon, 'e's very ill."
The Cheesemaker struggled to mumble through his beard, "I'm getting better."
The Peasant rolled his eyes, "No yer not, you'll be bloody crazy in a moment."
The Guardsdwarf scratched his beard, "Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations."
The Cheesemaker pulled his beard agitatedly, "I don't want to go on the cart."
"O', don't be such a baby," the Peasant rolled his eyes again.
"I can't take him," the Guardsdwarf said firmly.
"I feel fiiiiine," sang the Cheesemaker.
"O', do me a favor, laddie" the Peasant beseeched the Guardsdwarf.
The Guardsdwarf muttered, "I can't."
The Cheesemaker sang again, "I feel happy! I feel happy!"
The Fortress Guardsdwarf glanced up and down the street furtively, then smacked the Cheesemaker through the beard on the back of his head, knocking him out.
The Peasant handed the Guardsdwarf nine gold, "Ah, thank you very much."
"Not at all. See you next Hematite," the disabled Guardsdwarf pulled himself slowly back into the wagon.

[KaelGotDwarves]

The Sabers of Fire have sent their insane dwarves to a settlement in the Tundra!

RULES: You may choose a dwarf, and choose their mental illness.
I currently have 5 dwarves available, one reserved for my bipolar trader and one sane dwarf there by accident. You may claim the sane dwarf.
We are crazy. Crazy things will happen. We will aim for strange moods and melancholy and berserking dwarves tearing through our halls like demons.

Starting seven:

Miner/Mason: claimable
Miner/Mechanic: (autistic-impaired social/communication skills but brain focuses in other ways) claimable
Farmer/Cook/Leatherworker: claimable
Farmer/Brewer: (sane) claimable
Craftsdwarf: claimable
Cheesemaker/Trader: (bipolar-dramatic and unpredictable mood swings) reserved
Soldier: claimable

I would appreciate if you would choose some of these illnesses for the remainder (though you may choose your own and give me a short description of it):
psychosis (reality testing is grossly impaired.)
bipolar
Dementia
depression (I R TEH EMO)
schizophrenia (difficult to tell the difference between real and unreal experiences)
autism
Anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure)
Aphasia (loss of ability to talk)
Agoraphobia (Fear of open settings, crowds)

Before anyone complains about lack of sensitivity, guess why I'm taking the bipolar dwarf. Sometimes the only way to get through things are to confront and make light of them.

MORE AFTER DINNER

[Flintus10]

I'll take the soldier thanks

Name:Flint (Male)
        Sareka (Female)

Mental illness: psycosis. Acts in the way you would excpect a Over the top renaissance duelist would, constantly looking for the most dramatic way to accomplish tasks and will slap anything with a pulse with his dueling glove. He(she) only seeks glory for himself.

[MrLobster]

Miner-mason name of Lobsterbeard!

He has a form of agoraphobia. He hates being more than 2 squares away from a wall at any time. He will try to insist on building or carving out pillars (the more and bigger the better) in larger rooms if those are designated.

He loves diagonal throughways, little cubbyholes, and twisty passages. And mazes. Straight lines and big spaces mean the PHANTOM SPIDERS CAN FIND YOU.

[rosedrake]

farmer cook leatherworker. add butcher and tanner if you can! and bonecarver.

Conscine, female. horribly delusional. thinks she's a sentient carnivore creature thingy, and that the others are, too. in story, she likes dragons, as she'd often identify herself (and the others) to one.

she'll make sure we have meat.

OR ELSE.

[elizar]

Why not, this could be fun. I'll claim craftsdwarf. If you could also have him an engraver I would like that

I'll take schizophrenia, the crafts and engravings he churns out would be in some way a memento to something he thinks that happened in reality. He prides to make something that relates to actual history.

Too bad it's the history he thinks that happened.

[LegoLord]

I'll take the Brewer/cook.  But I'd like him to go insane, if possible; preferably extreme paranoia.

[Kel the Oblivious]

I call the miner/mason!

Ragebrew shall be his name. He is aphasia, caused by the sight of his entire former fortress being rended limb from limb by horrible unspeakable monsters from the Terrifying forest they set up in. Except for the whole not talking thing, he is pretty normal, very patient, but known to nightmares of epic proportion. 

Always busy working on something new to pretty up the fortress. He doesn't care if some raving maddwarf will knock over his precious gold ore statue, he wants to make one and put it somewhere nice.

[KaelGotDwarves]

good timing, I'm updating now

Oh wait, miner/mason is already taken, want the mechanic?

[Kel the Oblivious]

Sure, I'll take the mechanic. Instead of wanting a nice pretty fortress, he wants to make it a deathtrap for anything that isn't a dwarf. Stonefall traps in every corridor, weapon traps using anything that can hack, slash, bash, pierce, or just plain hurt things all over the place. When asked why, he just points to various scars, and resumes setting up the traps.

[Kobold6]

For the next wave of immigrants, metalworker/amoursmith/weaponsmith OCD, obsessed with cleaning and polishing of shiny objects.

[Halmie]

That little story is feels abit familiar.

EDIT: That's ripped of monty python abit.

[CrossBolt]

In the next wave of migrants I want (if possible) a planter called Dark (male) who believes the plants talk to him saying that they are actually elves...

[Zifnab]

When you get an immigrant woodcutter, I'd like to have one called Gil Galad.  He thinks he is an elf and that his arms are evil.  After all they like to kill trees.