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[CJ1145]

Well, as you all know from my last thread, the Sci-Fi story won the poll on which story I would write. I'm true to my word, so I'll post the summary of the story in this post. Chapter 1 will start in my next.

The year is unknown, all that is remembered is that many years have past. Humanity is extinct, a tragic memory known only by a select few. After building a galactic empire worthy of the envy of God himself, Humanity tore itself apart, unable to keep the peace in such an expansive domain. In their conflicts, they rendered world after world impossible to inhabit, save one: Earth, the homeworld of humanity, though it was not the capital and its origin story had been long since forgotten. On this dying planet, the winners of the war had their foes trapped, and prepared to annihilate them; but they themselves were trapped, caught in a gravity well made in desperation by the few survivors. The ships crashed into the planet, devastating it, its nuclear cores spreading radiation across the planet. In moments, the last human fell, dead.

But in their place rose something else. Something Human only in appearance, but inside wholly different. Changed by the radiation, these mutants congregated with those like them, 3 species battling for control of the barren world:

The UMC, or United Mechanized Corporations remember their past as Humans, and attempt to replicate it in their domain of Oceania, a landmass formed from the collision of Australia and the many islands of the Pacific. Highly industrialized, the UMC's people were the only ones that were not immune to the radiation disease. Instead, they found a cure. They are the most technologically advanced of the Three, and by far the largest in population, though a volunteer army keeps them from soundly destroying the opposition. Physically identical to a Human, these creatures rely on Powered Armor and massive machines to do the jobs they can not, both on and off of the battlefield.

The Order of the Bloodmage is a fanatic cult, a group of devoted followers who can control the very elements, wielding a form of magic so powerful, they consider it God-given. In the ruins of shattered earth, the barbaric people found Bibles, and began to read them, and twist it into their own warped religion that said that they were the supreme beings of Earth, and that all others must perish before they are permitted into heaven, where they shall live as gods for eternity. There are those in their order with no magic ability, but a faith so great that the Bloodmages have allowed them to serve as warriors; these crusaders fight so that they may die an honourable death in battle and gain a chance to enter heaven with their more gifted brothers. The leader of this fanatic order, their Grandmaster died centuries ago. His tomb remains hidden, but their prophecies state that he will be found and returned to life, and he will bring about a destruction so great that his actions will directly bring about the end of the war.

The Shifters, a species made of lawless, morally gray mercenaries who will do anything, no matter how violent, to obtain what they need. They are granted a power that is literally limitless, so long as there are stronger foes than they. A Shifter is trained from an early age to be the greatest of assassins, if he or she is to be a warrior. Physically worthless at first, a Shifter has the ability to kill a target, and take that target's physical stamina and abilities, and stack it on their own. They do this with each person they kill, until the point where a veteran Shifter is super-human in their abilities. They may also take the shape, temporarily, of any living thing they have killed; this quality makes them the perfect spy, and they will often be hired by the other species to do jobs that normal commandos cannot handle.

The creatures fight a never-ending war, and as the death toll rises they remain oblivious to the workings of another force in the background; a force that seeks the end of the war, no matter the cost, before a greater threat engulfs them all.

[CJ1145]

Chapter 1

As the sun fell on New York, Louis decided to take another trip through the streets. It had been a slow day, only a single robbery at the bank, and the robber'd been shot by a vigilante before he could even get there. He had a badge and he was going to make use of it, somehow.

Ever since they'd taken the island from the Shifters, the newly-established UMC government had found it difficult to keep order in a hostile city. They had brought in an entire battalion of soldiers, not to mention the hundreds of police, Louis included, that had to be shoved as quickly through training as possible and sent out onto the streets. The first week he could hardly hold his gun straight; but he'd gotten used to his lot in life. As these thoughts passed through his mind he turned on his motorbike, heading towards the docks.

Another officer had shown him the place about a month ago, and Louis had grown attached to it; stopping by whenever he passed through the area. As he pulled up and stepped off the bike two shady looking characters quickly tried to hide something in their pockets. Louis drew his handgun and walked up to them, and casually pointed it towards them.

"Hands up, boys."

The two complied, sweat dripping down their faces. Louis reached inside the fat one's pocket and pulled out a bag, filled with pills. Louis sighed to himself; this was his least favorite part of the job.

He quickly pulled the trigger, putting a bullet in the skull of each. Martial law was martial law, and during that time any illegal act was considered treason. Treason got the death penalty.

He holstered the pistol and walked out to the edge of the dock and breathed in the air. Freshest in Manhattan, though that wasn't saying much considering the state of affairs at the moment. A few seagulls were feasting on someone's corpse further out to sea. He couldn't tell whose, and didn't honestly care. He didn't know him, and unless there was a complaint it wasn't his problem. All he wanted to do was stand there until the sun went down.

As he tried to calm himself, he was caught off guard as a tremor shot through the docks. He grabbed a pillar and held on as tightly as he could, knowing the shaking would stop in a moment; but it didn't stop, rather it shook more violently with each passing second, as if something was approaching. Louis thought that was impossible, but was proved wrong quickly as something rose from the water.

It was massive, twice the size of the baseball stadium, if not larger and bristling with dozens of... weapons? Yes, weapons. Louis had to take a moment to come to grips with this, before he could take the only logical action and turn to run. But he couldn't run, all he could do was stare in disbelief as the ship began to open fire, and buildings began to fall. Drones flew out from it, strafing the streets and mowing down droves of civilians attempting to flee to their homes. Several larger ships flew out from their parent ship and fanned out over the city. Louis ran from his spot in an attempt to reach his motorbike, but it ended up directly in the landing zone of the ship. The officer could only stare in disbelief as it opened up, dozens of soldiers filing out, randomly gunning down any civilians they ran across. One of them looked the wrong way and spotted Louis staring, mouth agape at the raid.

The faceless man shouldered his rifle, and pulled the trigger; lead flowed from its barrel like water, but quickly turned to mist at that range. A single lucky bullet grazed Louis in the stomach, dropping him. The officer pulled his handgun out and took a shot, but it went wide and bounced off the ship with a pinging noise. Seeing the hopelessness of the situation Louis fled into a nearby alley, aware that the soldier was chasing him.

He turned a few sharp corners, hoping that his knowledge of the streets would outsmart the soldier; he jumped over a fence or two even, before stopping to catch his breath on the stoop of an abandoned apartment building. Suddenly he heard footsteps. He drew his gun and fired off a round, barely missing a sweet old lady as she came around the corner; scared half to death she tried to run back in the other direction. Louis jumped to his feet and ran to her, grabbing her by the arm before she could move into someone else's line of fire.

"Ma'am," he began, "whatever's going on right now is too dangerous for you to be outside."

"Oh, don't worrry about me." The old woman replied. "I'm tough as nails, I'm not afraid of a few soldiers."

For the sake of the woman's well-being Louis pressed the fact that she should be inside.

"No, ma'am, I can't let you do that. We need to get you inside before you get hurt. This is a war zone."

As he dragged her along she began to protest with increased agitation.

"B-but my home is that way! Can't we at least head that way?"

"Too dangerous, there's a ship full of troops there."

"Please, sir, I'm begging you! My cat won't survive without me!"

"They're not here for your cats, ma'am, I'm sure it'll be fine."

The argument continued on, and with each sentence something changed in the old woman. Her voice grew tense, strong... deep. Suddenly it wasn't a woman speaking, but a man. Louis took the time to turn around and ask the woman if she smoked when he suddenly realized he was dragging one of the faceless soldiers. The man's helmet disguised all emotion as he cast off Louis' arm and grabbed his throat, lifting him to the air and backing him into a wall. The soldier drew a knife from several holsters on his belt. He put it to Louis' throat, and whispered to him "Between you and me, there really was a cat. When I get back to my squad, I'll make sure we name it after you. I like to be able to identify my food."

The soldier laughed a terrifying, merciless cackle as he pushed the knife forward, the cackle becoming almost a ringing in Louis' ears. Wait. In fact, it was a ringing. The dream stopped suddenly, and Louis shot up from his bed in a cold sweat. Two years and he still remembered every detail vividly from that horrible day. He buried his face deep into a pillow, and shouted curses as loud as he could into it.

Louis threw off the covers and headed to the shower. As he stood, he went over every detail in his mind of that day, over and over. He was lucky to be alive, lucky the first shot from that ship didn't hit a building by him. He'd read the reports, they all had. A 93% fatality rate for all armed personnel in Manhattan. Another 5% gone insane from PTSD. The last 2% resigned as soon as they got home, Louis included.

But now word had come out, the UMC was low on troops. Not only that, but they had reached the "climax" of the war and they needed all the help they could get. The new deal for volunteering was a steal, you were shipped out for 6 months, and got paid a fortune good enough to buy yourself a house in New Zealand. The only place that didn't even have to worry about radiation, the real estate value there was outrageous. And Louis needed a better home than the one he had.

The night before at the bar he and his friends had decided - they would sign up, go through this tour together, and come out of it millionaires. It would be easy, most of the guys at the bar had gone through tour without even seeing action, so their chances were just as good, right? Louis caught himself arguing with his own mind, and threw on a set of clothes. A car had been honking outside for the last 20 minutes, and he could hear the voice of his friend Jack over the horn telling him to hurry up. He rushed out the door, desperate to get to his friends; they always proved enough of a distraction to escape the dreams.

[CJ1145]

No comment? 

[FluffyToast J]

That was very good. Immediately when I saw 'Louis' I thought 'Pillz here!' and then when you had him kill the 'criminals' because of 'pills', I thought that must be on purpose.

Apart from that, it was pretty good. There were a couple grammatical errors, I think.

'Several larger ships flew out from their parent ship and fanned out over the city.'
Does this mean that the ships that flew out were larger than the parent ship? Because that doesnt seem physically possible. Or was it larger than the drones? I think in this context you could change that 'larger' to 'smaller' because that confused me.

'He jumped over a fence or two even' also confused me for a bit. Perhaps 'He even jumped over a fence or two'?

Apart from those, it was a very good read. Cant wait for chapter 2.

[CJ1145]

Oh, thanks! The lack of replies made me think everyone hated it...  If I don't get feedback I'll never improve!

I'll be sure the fix that, and get Chapter 2 up soon.

[CJ1145]

Was it really that bad? Only one person liked it? 

[Deon]

Sorry, 3 AM here. I've just read the setting (first post) and it seems to be pretty unique. Let me sleep and I will comment the story .