This happened in my Fortress, Inkydrums, yesterday, and I wanted to share it. It's another wacky story of the kind that so often happens in this game.
Some background: My latest stupid dwarf trick had been to build Fortress 2, a separate fortress on the other side of the map accessible only via a very long tunnel. I used it to separate my nobles from everyone else, giving them a whole fortress of their own, complete with all the amenities... or so I thought. I also built "gummi bear hatches" all over, covered-over staircases allowing dwarves to quickly pop down into the giant tunnel in case of an invasion.
(By the way, I don't recommend doing this. Over half my fortress was milling about in the tunnel at any one time, since there was so much work to do in Fortress 2 and they all slept in the original fortress)
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The count and his wife are set up to live in comfortable isolation by themselves in Fortress 2. There, they have virtually an entire fortress to do whatever they please with. Somehow this leads to the count dying of thirst, presumably because he was too noble to drink water or because he was too lazy to walk through the tunnel to get something to drink when the alcohol stockpile in Fortress 2 ran out. His wife responds to the tragedy by mandating that some Lay Pewter items are made to commemorate his death.
There is no Lay Pewter in the fortress, greatly troubling the mayor, so the mayor hatches an evil plan to drown the demanding countess and send her to the grave beside her husband. Thus, the Countess is locked inside the Chamber of Drowning, fooled by an evil scheme to pull a lever "for Lay Pewter", she was told. Fortunately, the Chamber of Drowning malfunctions! The water drained from a nearby very small lake is not enough to drown her, and instead she swims in place for several weeks. By this time her mandate has nearly ended, and she is still not dead - but the rain will soon flood the chamber and kill her. She is severely dehydrated though, on account of refusing to drink water (which is probably what killed the Count.)
Then, disaster strikes! A goblin siege! Fortunately, thanks to the gummi bear hatches, every dwarf can quickly and safely retreat inside the tunnel, where they are safe... except for the Consort, since the Chamber of Drowning is attached to an outdoors lake. From her drowning chamber, she sees the goblin invasion coming, and decides in a stroke of heroism to live, to fight for the glory of Inkydrums! In that very moment, her Swimming skill goes up, and she shoots out of the lake like a projectile, swimming up to the surface to bravely face the goblins! Alas - in the distance, she sees the archery tower, and forms a plan. Running straight at the invading goblins she catches their attention, and with no regard for her own safety has their crossbowmen chase her across the map toward the archery tower, miraculously without ever getting hit!
Once the marksdwarves catch sight of the enemy, they open fire, and between them and the traps, the goblins don't stand a chance. Cunningly, the Consort has lured them to their doom. She then hurries inside the fortress, soaking wet and dying of thirst, and runs past one - two - three different wells, until she finally - at the back of the fortress, mere steps away from the icy clutches of death by thirst - finds what she had sought: A barrel of dwarven wine.
Having thus quenched her thirst, she turns to the evil mayor who hatched this plan to kill her. The mayor has diplomatic immunity, but the righteous Consort knows someone must be punished for this sinister scheme. Right at this moment, she decides to "screw Lay Pewter", and forgets all about her mandate and her dead husband - she cares only that justice is served! The mayor, immune to the Law, wrings her evil hands and sits safely in her room - but the Consort has her boyfriend, a Planter, arrested for treason, imprisoned for 26 days, to suffer as she has suffered in the Chamber of Drowning.
Then, the Consort finally takes her lawful place in a new nobles' chamber in the heart of Inkydrums, having earned the right to rule by a trial of water, goblins, and lay pewter.
The mayor's boyfriend, who has no metalcrafting skills, is meanwhile very confused in prison. He spends all his time admiring everything he can reach and being happier than ever. He's probably rather daft.
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Topic: The Consort's Escape (Read 1266 times)