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[Great Order]

I've come to a bit of a realisation about transphobes who use say that trans people are just mentally ill.

Obviously it's a load of crap, or not entirely as a lot of trans people *are* mentally ill, just not in the way the transphobes mean (ie depression, anxiety and similar are common). But the point isn't that we're mentally ill, it's just that it's their way of justifying the idea that trans people don't actually exist.

However they say this then denigrate trans people, despite ostensibly thinking it's a mental health issue. This opens them up to an issue with their way of thinking: Either they don't think we're mentally ill and are just trying to be cruel, or they do and they treat mentally ill people exceptionally poorly which is a damning indictment of their character and understanding of how to deal with mental illness. If they actually thought that and were trying to be helpful, they'd treat us with misaimed compassion, but instead they treat us with derision and scorn.

Anyway, I've had to deal with a few transphobes online in case it wasn't obvious, it's frustrating but I wanted to share this little epiphany.

EDIT: I've moved my patches down to my thigh seeing as being on my belly had a habit of making them curl up, and holy shit does it get itchy if it's not in the exact right spot. I don't know what it is about my thigh that does that but it fucking sucks.

[Truean]

Please do not quote

If it helps any, I can relate. I hope it helps at least.

The illness/mental illness thing is ... odd and historically weird. Of course you're right concerning many transphobia motivations. You just are right.
It sucks being considered sick/crazy just by being transgender, because for far too many mean people that's their insulting way to dehumanize us.
If transgender people have a higher instance of depression and anxiety, then I would bet it might be related to all the crap we are put through.

If there is any redeeming ... anything ... to being classified as a mental disorder, it would be arguing for insurance coverage and health protections.
DMS-IV TR and DSM V could at least in theory be used to try for insurance coverage. Some private insurers have been nicer about coverage due to that.
I mean, expensive treatment costs being covered is a good thing, but I can totally see not wanting to be stigmatized. HIPAA protections might help. etc.

As for my own experiences, I've seen the what I imagine to be all of the three types you mention: those who don't think we're actually mentally ill and are just trying to be cruel, those who just treat mental illness rather poorly, and the ones who think they're helpful but aren't/are hiding they are mean. I also imagine things have changed in ... 20 or 30 years as well.

I'm glad you (unless I'm wrong which I might be) appear to be able to transition. It's nice to see someone able to get that and I'm glad.

If nothing else I don't think it's quite as completely horrid as it used to be in all cases so... some improvement I hope? I almost posted one of those trigger warning things with a spoiler of a story of some not great transphobic abuse from my childhood, but I don't know if people want to read that and I'm not trying to distress anyone. I'm just glad that probably doesn't happen to others anymore or at least not as much. I still think it might be generally worse in rural areas than in cities but what do I know.

I am somewhat upset there were protestors at a gay wedding around here recently. It was only a couple of people but still. The couple wasn't trans I don't think, but rather two lesbians. I don't get it. The horses haven't started eating each other like they said would happen if gay people got married, and there are still some out there who just.... Hate it all the same?

Please do not quote

[Frumple]

For what it's worth, and as far as I'm aware, regarding depression/anxiety/etc. rates trans folks seem to basically have two states:

When they have appropriate care for the condition and general acceptance in the community they're in, incidence rates more or less normalize with the community in question. It doesn't zero out 'cause the only demographic with zero mental illness is the dead, but it largely normalizes.

When those things are lacking, incidence rates get jacked up pretty high.

It's basically, like. Yes, when you wildly and persistently abuse a demographic, up to and including denying medical care, they have high rates of your standard slate of mental illnesses. When you don't, they don't! It's a very "no shit, sherlock" kind of thing

[Great Order]

And then you get transphobes dropping (Often incorrect) figures about transgender suicide rates, seemingly to mock us or say that conversion therapy's the solution ("Ignore the scientific community here, yes I'm on science's side which is why I ignore it when I dislike what it says").

I don't get them honestly. I understand on an intellectual level that we're different and these are often people who are scared of things that are different, or they desperately want something/one to look down on, or they follow some religion that tells them we're evil, but beyond the purely intellectual I just don't understand it at all.

[Strongpoint]

However they say this then denigrate trans people, despite ostensibly thinking it's a mental health issue. This opens them up to an issue with their way of thinking: Either they don't think we're mentally ill and are just trying to be cruel, or they do and they treat mentally ill people exceptionally poorly which is a damning indictment of their character and understanding of how to deal with mental illness.

It is actually VERY simple. Their logic works like this:

Are you depressed? Make a decision and stop being depressed. They know it is easy because they are not depressed.

Do you have severe claustrophobia? Make a decision and stop being afraid of closed spaces. They know it is easy because they are not afraid of closed spaces.

Do you have an addiction? Make a decision and stop doing it. They know it is easy because they don't have that addiction.

And so on. Being trans is just one more on their list.

[Great Order]

I've dealt with them enough to know that nine times out of ten they hate trans people. There's no actual logic to the argument, it's just a way of providing a veneer of legitimacy to their hatred.

You do sometimes come across the ones who actually think it's a mental illness though, so I always start off with education on the matter. If they reflexively attack that, then they're pretty much guaranteed to be a transphobe and digging into their online history shows it.

[Magmacube_tr]

I've dealt with them enough to know that nine times out of ten they hate trans people. There's no actual logic to the argument, it's just a way of providing a veneer of legitimacy to their hatred.

Yea. It is just a way for them to feel more important and greater than someone else. The very act itself has no higher purpose. Even if they claim as such.

[Great Order]

Late night shave, thanks bedroom with a basin in it.

I might actually be edging towards looking sort of pretty in my own way? Or maybe I'm finally developing a positive self-image. Either way I'm happy.

[Doomblade187]

Late night shave, thanks bedroom with a basin in it.

I might actually be edging towards looking sort of pretty in my own way? Or maybe I'm finally developing a positive self-image. Either way I'm happy.

Hell yeah! Honestly a lot of it is learning what you actually like about yourself, imo. Because it turns out when you cast off the burden of over the top dysphoria weighing you down you don't necessarily hate everything.

[Truean]

Please do not quote. Here's another reason why

Not legal advice, but generally there's a reason gay people in the military used to keep closeted.... I didn't say it was a good policy, just a reaction to it.

This was supposed to air Veteran's Day week (November 11, 2024), but without getting into the multiple reasons (some bad, some more decent), it aired sooner.

DADT (Don't ask don't tell) was probably the best compromise Bill Clinton could do at the time, because before that even an accusation would screw you forever. Obama tried to get rid of it and move forward. Biden has been trying to continue Obama's work with this.... There are still a large number of LGBT Vets who have dishonorable discharges or "less than honorable discharge." Whatever the differences, it's still not good to say the least. Fortunately, now after practically a lifetime, some DOD review is occurring to retroactively right this mess. It's a start... We hope.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/military-veterans-honorable-discharges-dont-ask-dont-tell-review/#:~:text=More%20than%20800%20veterans%20who%20were%20kicked%20out,Secretary%20of%20Defense%20Lloyd%20J.%20Austin%20announced%20Tuesday.

Q: When did you first attempt to get your dishonorable discharge upgraded?"
A: Shoot, back in like 2013 or so.
Q: And nothing?
A: Yeah, it just stalled I mean there was just there it didn't feel like there was any hope for anything
(Statement of former Naval Officer [Name Redacted] dishonorably discharged for being gay/lesbian, CBS News, "More than 800 military veterans receive honorable discharges from Pentagon's "don't ask, don't tell" records review" October 15th, 2024)

What's worse are those who were at least seemingly thrown out for being gay "without it being because they were gay"
"There was an accusation that someone was in your room and you put your hand on his knee and kissed him on the cheek." The allegation alone turned into an indictment of "indecent assault," and threats from the Air Force, "We're bringing you to Court Marshal and it's not going to be anything to do with sexuality. That you are going to be charged with 'indecent assault' which is a federal felony" The Air Force admitted in writing that homosexuality was a factor in the case (See video link), a letter to [Airman's Name Redacted]'s mother, said he was dishonorably discharged.

"Captain [Airman's Name Redacted]' had no healthcare and no benefits. He couldn't even get hired as a census taker."

Hand on knee. Kiss on Cheek. Federal Felony? Either he did far more or there's something not right?

The Former Airman has given up trying as of the date of the video's publication October 15, 2024, "I'm just like. OK, we're done. I'm done. I'm not gonna go beg." "[Airman's Name Redacted] has always maintained his innocence says the incident in question never happened."

The DOD spokesman stated, "In order to be true to what we tried to do by getting rid of Don't Ask Don't Tell. It's not just about the future. It's also about making sure we correct this. We can and we should."

*A Court Marshal is a military tribunal or court where members of the military found guilty are sentenced under Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) through Judge Advocate General JAG Military Attorneys under the Manual for Courts-Martial. This is not NJP Non-judicial punishment.

https://img.atlasobscura.com/6G49ttZpvq2ezTNquInniVW72RoucTRDwiI4T3dJZ7M/rs:fill:12000:12000/q:81/sm:1/scp:1/ar:1/aHR0cHM6Ly9hdGxh/cy1kZXYuczMuYW1h/em9uYXdzLmNvbS91/cGxvYWRzL2Fzc2V0/cy82N2ExYjBhY2Uy/NmU0MTMyOTVfTWF0/bG92aWNoLmpwZw.jpg
That headstone hits a little harder today, "They gave me a metal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."
Please do not quote.

[Great Order]

I keep getting these random moments where I suddenly realise "Holy shit, XYZ sees me as a woman". Never happened with a person, only institutions, but it's a weird sudden lurching euphoria, for lack of a better way of putting it? Like I'll get a letter with my name and "Ms." on it and it'll suddenly happen.

I can only imagine part of it is that I can't really see a woman in the mirror too much right now, at least not properly. As ever, I suspect it's the (very) male pattern baldness messing that one up for me, given that in absence of my hair (So when I'm wearing a hat, pretty much) I see myself as pretty androgynous, possibly leaning towards a woman in appearance. Another big one is that I've got a fairly square jaw, which is irritating, but I think my general anxiety and self-image issues are contributing more to that being a problem than anything else.