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Which is worse: being broken up with, or breaking up with someone?

I'd rather be broken up with.
- 6 (25%)
I'd rather do the 'breaking'.
- 7 (29.2%)
They both suck!
- 11 (45.8%)

Total Members Voted: 24


Author Topic: So, which is worse?  (Read 1281 times)

Lord Dullard

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So, which is worse?
« on: September 14, 2009, 09:53:58 pm »

Mostly just tossing this up here out of curiosity to see what other B-12ers think.

I don't have a hugely extensive dating history myself. I'm 23, I've had four relationships I'd consider serious (i.e. not flings/sex-for-fun arrangements). The only one of those relationships I was head-over-heels about was the first, in which case I was the one who was broken up with. In the other three I did the breaking.

Both cases suck, obviously, but if you want to maintain any sort of dating life you might as well expect to encounter one or both sooner or later.

I just recently ended my last relationship, and have been reminded just how much I hate breaking up with girls. It's much easier to be broken up with; that way you can deal with your own anguish/anger/emotions more honestly. If you're breaking up with someone, though (especially as a guy), if you still care for the other person on a non-romantic level, it's pretty much necessary to play the 'heavy' in spite of how you might actually be feeling to spare them as much of The Suck as possible. And trust me, this isn't fun. I'd much rather deal with feelings of anger and sadness than deal with guilt.

Of course, I'm sure I've probably got a lot of more of this shit to look forward to in the coming years. Yay.  :D But talking about these kind of thing sometimes helps, and it's always interesting to hear the opinions of others.
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Puzzlemaker

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2009, 09:56:23 pm »

I have only had the pleasure of being broken up with.
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sonerohi

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2009, 09:56:57 pm »

Whenever I date a friend I make it clear from the get-go that she shouldn't get into it if she wouldn't be able to handle us being friends after the breakup. This makes it pretty easy since I can just tell her that I need her as a friend. 'Tis called the sympathy card, and it makes her not be angry at you.
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Strife26

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2009, 09:57:33 pm »

My one experience really sucked.

Like really really really sucked.

That is all.
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Rashilul

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2009, 10:00:14 pm »

I could never bear to break up with someone unless I really hate her.
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sonerohi

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2009, 10:11:55 pm »

I think that the worst part is that society puts alot of pressure on guys to be very stoic and emotion-free. When we break up with a girl, we feel really shitty, but we hide it as best we can. Girls don't receive much pressure to be stoic, so they go ahead and express just how shitty they feel, which makes us guys feel even shittier because we can't feel shitty with them and we look like we don't care when we do.
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Rashilul

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2009, 10:13:42 pm »

I think that the worst part is that society puts alot of pressure on guys to be very stoic and emotion-free. When we break up with a girl, we feel really shitty, but we hide it as best we can. Girls don't receive much pressure to be stoic, so they go ahead and express just how shitty they feel, which makes us guys feel even shittier because we can't feel shitty with them and we look like we don't care when we do.

Emotional types get all the pity, and thus, all the caring women.
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Tokkius

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2009, 10:42:37 pm »

I've never felt any sort of real attachments in the relationships I've been in. It's always been a "grass is greener" issue. I never bothered to initiate them, but when the person asked me, I couldn't turn them down (I have a hard time refusing people). Once I'm in, I don't really care either way. So it's much easier, and less stressful, if I don't have to do the breaking up.

In regards to my detachment... I dunno. I've never really felt any sort of romantic affection for anyone. Ever. As for family relationships, I couldn't care less if I go without seeing a cousin, sibling or etc. for years.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 10:44:55 pm by Tokkius »
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Vester

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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2009, 11:31:45 pm »

All (well, both, since I've only had 2) of my breakups have been mutual.

I don't get into relationships with guys that I'd have to dump. That would be terrible.
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Re: So, which is worse?
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2009, 12:05:50 am »

Well, I'd prefer to end things on my own terms. If something isn't working out, I'd seek to either correct the problem or end the issue.

I couldn't care less if I go without seeing a cousin, sibling or etc. for years.

Really? I only feel that way about the parts of my family I barely know.
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redacted123

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« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2009, 10:29:15 am »

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« Last Edit: January 24, 2016, 04:58:35 pm by Stany »
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