I feel that too many people are confused by TACTICUS, what? It's really quite simple. Here I post my and someone else's (I've forgotten their name, but whoever you are, thank you for the clever summary of TACTICUS) views of TACTICUS, hopefully to bring in a new era of chaps willing to play this game of kings. Here you are then, my lad.
The Complete Rules of Tacticus, New Expanded Abridged Revised Pantshelm Edition, cannot all exist in the same space, or else odd quantum-mechanical effects will result in the removal of all dwarven beards in that space. We wouldn't want that, now would we?
Of course, that doesn't preclude a small amount of informal organization in which to experience the game, such as "unless the Complete Rules of Tacticus, New Expanded Revised Pantshelm Edition, instruct otherwise, the starter of the game is the one who keeps track of what the hell is going on for everyone else's benefit" or "once the starter of the game informs everyone what the hell went on the previous turn or other period of time-space-dwarfdom specified in the Complete Rules of Tacticus, New Expanded Revised Pantshelm Edition, everything else going on prior to that is what the hell is going on the next turn or other period of time-space-dwarfdom".
Of course, as seasoned Tacticus veterans, we know that the former is implied via EnidButterclasped's Interpretation of rule 107.908.1 Section E, subtitled "Ordering of Events - Game Information - Periods of Required Drinking - The Score and Its Relation to Hoary Marmots", while the latter clearly follows from Appendix D-2 Section 77B, "Time Flows Forward, Unless It Flows Backwards Or Sideways & Considerations on Special Temporal Conditions Both Alcohol-Induced And Not". Sure, there is some debate regarding Enid Butterclasped's Interpretation and its ramifications on interior antman movements - heck, I think we all disagree with her stance that brewing occurs before the second subsidiary non-underground event phase - but her general thoughts seem logically sound.
His.
And now mine.
Some of the important things to remember are these:
The goals of TACTICUS have never truly been defined, though many have tried. Grand Saol Gompar of TACTICUS, the famous Rev. Tinkle Blueberry, normally attempted, during the many games he took part in, to end all life as we know it by the summoning of a lovecraftian horror in accordance with section 435 subsection 12, clause b. ii, or the 'sodding great tentacles' clause, and at the same time endeavored to make an extremely noteworthy cup of tea. Whilst the last goal might seem strange, it is important to remember that after the Pantshelm revision of '92, tea is considered an explosive weapon, as once mixed with the appropriate amount of milk and sugar it explodes with great force, and also that tea is extremely tasty. This is also the reason that old ladies over the age of 60 refuse to play with the revised '92 edition, but that is neither here nor there.
An important part of TACTICUS, as we all know, is the creation of rules. The creation of rules is an integral and extremely unstable part of TACTICUS, as it began in 1067 at the creation of the game and sort of snowballed from there. Rules can be, and are, created at any time, including just now. Rule can, and certainly will, appear at any time and at any place including regular space, sub space, above space, beside space, dimensions 1 right through to 834 - which, interestingly, is the amount of TACTICUS players that can dance on the head of a pin - including the mysterious dimension W, and can appear in z space, x space, y space, why space, t space, golf space, alpha space, orange space and, on several occasions, inside the blouses of a number different women throughout history although they only seem to appear in the blouses of British women over the age of 30 living in Africa, whose father's first name is William. Nobody knows why this is, but inquiries are continuing.
Rules, once made, cannot be unmade or contradicted, lest everything collapse in on itself twice, possibly for emphasis. Thus, the cataloging of rules has been the job of many through history. It is not an enviable job, as it is not uncommon for the person in question to go mad before the age of 40. This is why people with this all important task are trained in a Buddhist monastery from the age of three, practicing every moment of the day and sleeping upside down on the rafters at night, which apparently helps them think. It is important that you familiarize yourself with every law before attempting a game of TACTICUS but it is not vital. In lieu of doing so, you must simply remember not to contradict the other players because considering the constant stream of new laws coming in from every conceivable dimension and space, and not least of all women's blouses, it is not an uncommon thing for a player to go mad in an attempt to remember every rule. However, a far more common thing, when faced with the many laws of TACTICUS, is to become extremely paranoid about everything, although this has not happened to me and I wish you would stop saying it has. I'd also appreciate it if you stopped making asides about my mother behind my back you smug bastard.
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Topic: Tacticus (Read 880 times)