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[Yanlin]

Well, YOUR mum's so fat, she weights 3->6->4 grams!

Dude... That's cold...

[Jack_Bread]

Bump beeecaaussse....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

From Miss Kate Koffi
Calling For Help,
 
Hope this mail meets you well, please permit me to introduce my self to you, my name is  Kate Koffi, I am 22 years old, the only daughter of Late Mr. Johnson Koffi who was a famous cocoa merchant based here in Abidjan , the Economic capital of Ivory Coast ( Cote D'ivoire). I am seeking for your assistance to help me transfer the sum of ( $10,500,000.00 ) Ten Million Five hundred Thousand United State of American Dollars that I inherited from my late father to your  bank account .
 
I am willing to offer you 15% of the total fund as a mode of compensation after the transfer for your time and effort. All the necessary documents concerning this fund is intact. please get back to me asap for more details concerning this fund and I will equally send you my photos so that you will see and know whom I am.
 
If you agree on this propsal and ready to assist me please indicate by furnising me with your phone and fax numbers including your full address to enable easy communication between me and you. Waiting for your cooperation.
 
Yours Faithfully,
Kate Koffi
 
please contact me in this email  : (kate_koffi222@yahoo.co.th)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

From Moses Saadah
 
Tel: +225 60576429
 
Please forgive me for sending this mail without your permission.I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the will of God for you to help me out, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. I need an honest and trust worthy person like you to entrust this huge transfer project unto.
 
I am Moses Abbud Saadah the only child of late Dr. Koneal Saadah,my father was poisoned to death by his business associates because of his wealth and during my fathers sickness he called me on his sick bed as his only child because my mother died when am young and told me about the money($USD 7.300.000) he deposited in a bank here in our country that it was because of this money he was poisoned that if he dies i shall look for some one whom i trust to help me transfer this money out of this our country to his account for investment purpose abroad while i will continue my education then you will be managing the investment.
 
Dear am soliciting your assistance to help me transfer this money out of this country for my life sake while i will come to meet you to continue my education in your country immediately the transfer is done.
Dear am looking forward to hear from you so that we can discuss on what will be your compensation for this assistace.I have every documents that relates to this transaction.
Sincerely
 Moses

[Dragooble]

Ok. Tell ms Koffi that you are pleased to receive such a large sum of money for your coffee shop acting as a front for a space alien experimentation facility.

Ask Moses what will happen if it ISN'T the will of god that you help her out. also tell her that this may conflict with your belief of touching money that once belonged to a businessman.

[Ampersand]

Kate Coffee, owner of a Cocoa plantation. Sounds like a star in Starbucks Pr0n

[Puck]

Does anybody know the "flight of the conchords" episode in which murray invests all the bands money in a "promising business opportunity" some guy from nigeria has offered him?

And in the end everybody is a lot richer AND happier ? 

[Leafsnail]

It's sad, really.  Classic con artists were meant to be clever and dashing, and to be so masterful of the English language that they could convince people to trust them and get off with their money.  These con artists can't even spell correctly.

[Jude]

I like this one:

my name is Miss daren justin yak ,
 
Greetings my dearest one,my name is Miss daren justin yak  am 23 years old Girl from Southern sudan.I want to have a common relationship with you, I need to tell you more things, but first I need your help to Stand for me as a trustee.
 
My father Dr. Justin Yak Arop was the former Minister for SPLA Affairs and Special Adviser to President Salva Kiir of South Sudan for Decentralization. My father Dr. Justin Yak, my mother including other top Military officers and top government officials where on board when the plane crashed on Friday May 02, 2008. You can read more about the crash through the below site:
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7380412.stm
 
some months after the burial of my father, my uncle conspired with my step mother and sold my father's properties to a Chinese Expatriate.  On a faithful morning I opened my father's briefcase and found out document which my beloved late father used and deposit money in a Bank in Dakar Senegal  , with my name as the next of kin.I escaped and found myself inthis contry calld Dakar I am residing inside refugee camp in Dakar Senegal  as i do not have anybody nor family to take care of me.
 
I go to the bank to withdraw the money so that I can start a better life and take care of myself. The Branch manager of the Bank whom I met in person told me that my present status does not permit me by the local law to clear money or make a transfer of money into an account, he advice me to provide a trustee who will help me and invest the money or I should wait till when I will get married it demand by their Authority.
 
 I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray  my trust. But rather take me as your own blood sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well, I will say that my mind convinced me that you are the true person to help me. More so, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my uncle has threatened to assassinate me. The amount is $7.5 Million and I have confirmed from the bank in Dakar Senegal   . You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business venture in your Country.
 
However, you will help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can complete my studies.  It is my intention to compensate you with 20% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment As soon as I receive your interest in helping me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely. Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am afraid of my wicked uncle who has threatened to kill me.
 
Sincerely yours
Miss daren  Justin Yak

I especially enjoy the BBC link to add legitimacy to it.