Diary of Professor Luslem -- Chapter One: An Inauspicious StartThey called me
mad when I suggested visiting the new puzzle fortress. Impudence! I'll show them!
The scrolls and tomes all suggested that the fotress,
Bridgedearth, was on the western foothills of the Decent Point. The other scholars had argued that the place must have many bridges across the earth. What point would there be in that! Nay, I said it must be that there is in fact a
dearth of bridges.
I set out, dressed in my finest silk robes, clasping my
copper walking stick (pointed to help gain footing in unsteady terrain). For victules, I brought skunk meat, a life-long weakness of mine.
From the hamlet of Spottedshot I travelled for a day along the eastern road, gaining succour from the night in Nestleshows. Joint-faculty expeditions had failed to proved the existence of
Bogey Men, but I didn't want to take any chances.
There I met a farmer whom I tried to recruit as a baggage handler. The lass, Oxut, was a fiesty one. Said her second name was
Punchmouths. I swore that day that were I to survive the puzzle fortress I would bring back a gift for this Oxut. She let me stay the night, if you know what I mean, and regaled me with tales of a great Rockstar. She said that the metallic thud of his bronze great axe cleaving through the breastplates of his foes sounded like the sliding of a tray of buns out of the oven, the mechanical call of bakers. I admired her poetic turn of phrase, and I asked her again if she'd join me and still the answer was no. One day.
The next morning I set off, heading south. I thought more about the
Rockstar that the woman had mentioned. What was his name, sapir, sassy, no-- Sasir! Yes, that was the name of the great Puzzler to survive the Puzzling Crypts. Word had it, he still lived in these parts. I considered seeking him out: he would undoubtedly be able to provide a great font of puzzling knowledge to this endeavour. But then the cold creep of jealousy spread beneath my skin. And let him take the credit! Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!
But then, as I took further steps I thought about all the dangers of the night. The mountain lions and
Twilight Women. Perhaps with hired muscle I might succumb to a lonely death on a distant mountain. But would he wish to travel out again?
I was contemplating this, who should I see stroll into town than
Sasir himself.
"Look you!" I said, "Be a
good sport and carry my bags while I figure out the next puzzle fortress, eh?"
Alas, Sasir was
highly unreasonable and refused my offer, saying that he would be the one to lead and had no need for my protection in the wilderness. He didn't look too bright so maybe he mistook my offer. After failing to sway him with the offer of joint-lectureship in the upcoming talks promoting my eventual book of the journey, I headed
south.
It didn't take me long to reach the northern steppes of the Decent Point, the central mountain range of the land. The going was slow and I soon decided to walk the lowlands to the west, sheltering at night in the mountain beside a warm campfire. This
circuitous route was making quick work of my skunk supplies. Luckily water was easy to come by from the many fresh rivers of the land (and I was lucky that I learned to swim as a boy back in the aqueducts of the mountain homes.
As I started travelling south through the Considerate Steppes, I began to feel uneasy. Was there somebody watching my progress? A few hours later I heard a crunch of leaves behind me: I turned to see further up the slope, a giant lion! I immediately stopped to consider my options, and seeing a ditch beside me, I dove down into it, and crawling through the mud I made my escape. I thanked the gods for blessing me with a
keen analytical mind, a lesser fool would have run or fought the beast- I lived without a scratch on me.
On the third day, I arrived in Bridgedearth to find my theory was correct: there was a
dearth of bridges. Indeed there was a dearth of anything! Could it be that the puzzle fortress was in fact held in the mountain halls of the Puzzling Crypts? It seemed almost too obvious but that was the only possibility remaining.
I headed east.
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Topic: Puzzle Fortress -- Challengers Needed (Read 7290 times)