Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Drakis]

i see threads about badassness and one in a million things that have been witnessed.

i want to know about all the cruel fun youve had with your fortresses and their occupants...   things like tossing kittens off towers, butchering nobles...    even things that require some cheating to do just because they are fun.


i myself use dwarf manager quite often because it saves time in designating groups to have certian tasks.   however, in this current fort, ive done some particularly cruel things...

first off, all the children get to be the ones butchering all those innocent puppies that keep popping out of my war dogs...  and with 8 female dogs, i have alot of meat coming from them...


and the philosopher, well i hate him so much, so i give him the one job i dont let anyone else do...   he spends all his time fishing...   and usually gets eaten by carp or is the one that finds out about the incoming ambushes...

[Ironhand]

You can't actually assign jobs to nobles and children, though. Did you mod it or something?
Also, why don't you like the Philosopher? I think he's awesome. And he doesn't demand anything.

[dood_]

When I was still learning the basics, I drafted ten dwarves, and had them stand on a tile each in a ten long 1 tile wide hallway. There were retracted spikes in each tile, but with ten on the upper end, 1 on the lower, and 2-9 in between. This was just to see how many were needed to kill gobbos. Turns out 4 is more than enough. The Dwarf that got the one with 10 spikes was the lucky one. She died instantly. It was 2 spike Dwarf I felt a bit sorry for. Red wound lower leg, red wound kidney, etc. Not enough to kill her, so I kept raising and lowering it. Eventually bleed to death a while later. One spike Dwarf survived.

Also, a cat that happened to be wandering by was impaled as well. There was so much blood.

Oh, and spending three dwarves to get a GCS into a cage trap, then 'accidentally' letting it loose in the lower levels.... where the sleeping quarters were. I had no military, and my miners were hollowing out the peaks for my amusement. I'll catch it again, but not before I install airlocks every 5 or so tiles

[kotekzot]

You can't actually assign jobs to nobles and children, though. Did you mod it or something?
Also, why don't you like the Philosopher? I think he's awesome. And he doesn't demand anything.

i think it's got something to do with that 'dwarf manager' thingamajig Drakis mentions.

[Tormy]

  he spends all his time fishing...   and usually gets eaten by carp or is the one that finds out about the incoming ambushes...

  Eh...I tend to do the same occasionally. Unnecessary/annoying dwarves are all going to fish!

[pushy]

You can't actually assign jobs to nobles and children, though. Did you mod it or something?
Also, why don't you like the Philosopher? I think he's awesome. And he doesn't demand anything.

i think it's got something to do with that 'dwarf manager' thingamajig Drakis mentions.

It does indeed. Dwarf Manager and Dwarf Foreman are third-party tools that make it much quicker to assign jobs to dwarves en masse (I rename all my dwarves and assign them job titles representing what I want them to do, then use DM to quickly turn on labours for them all - in all of my forts I have all dwarves do jobs like masonry, carpentry, mechanics and stuff...any task that has no quality modifier or a task that does have a quality modifier but I don't give a crap about (such as the three I already mentioned ). Really quick and easy. They also let you fiddle with labours for nobles, children and babies (and I noticed that Dwarf Foreman would also list dwarf merchants and stuff if they were present in the fort at the time...and sometimes if they weren't I never messed with the merchants and guards if they were around, but I don't think they'd do anything anyway)
http://www.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Utilities#Dwarf_Foreman
http://www.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Utilities#Dwarf_Manager

[Skorpion]

Nobles are either shut in to rot, or tossed into magma.
Or drowned.

Unnecesary dorfs are made to endlessly haul junk, clear out workshops, or do smelting endlessly.
I'm not sure which is worse, really. The endless hauling of goblin clothing and equipment above-ground, or the endless smelting in the lava pits.

Captives are thrown into pits. Or lava.

Whenever a significant amount of idling happens, dorfs are put on mass masonry projects.

[death]

I sent my dwarves, including me (I named a dwarf after me.), to kill a GCS. Suicide mission right?

The other parts of my group got there before me. They started to fight the GCS and got thier arses handed to them. It killed 2 of them. Body bits all over. It went to kill the next one in line, it took off his arm by teh time I got there. I saw the bodies on the guys and went mad. I killed the GCS with ease, sending it flying off the map. So. Everyone alive, exsept the guy with no arm went back to the fort. No one would go for him. So I made a royal everything for the poor dwarf with one arm.

Why do people hate Nobles so much? They are ok.

[Marko]

it's when they go about demanding glass items on a map with no sand and start ordering your dwarves to be executed that they get a bit annoying...

[Leafsnail]

it's when they go about demanding glass items on a map with no sand and start ordering your dwarves to be executed that they get a bit annoying...

I'm probably just lucky that my one just bans random exports (I've never made a window, and I don't have any cobalt, so that's fine).

[death]

I just ignore all thier orders. I like the nobles.

[Leafsnail]

Makes an interesting challenge to actually listen to them, though.  In my current fortress, that and the "sealed tomb" challenge are the only ones I am trying.

[Drakis]

You can't actually assign jobs to nobles and children, though. Did you mod it or something?
Also, why don't you like the Philosopher? I think he's awesome. And he doesn't demand anything.

i think it's got something to do with that 'dwarf manager' thingamajig Drakis mentions.

It does indeed. Dwarf Manager and Dwarf Foreman are third-party tools that make it much quicker to assign jobs to dwarves en masse (I rename all my dwarves and assign them job titles representing what I want them to do, then use DM to quickly turn on labours for them all - in all of my forts I have all dwarves do jobs like masonry, carpentry, mechanics and stuff...any task that has no quality modifier or a task that does have a quality modifier but I don't give a crap about (such as the three I already mentioned ). Really quick and easy. They also let you fiddle with labours for nobles, children and babies (and I noticed that Dwarf Foreman would also list dwarf merchants and stuff if they were present in the fort at the time...and sometimes if they weren't I never messed with the merchants and guards if they were around, but I don't think they'd do anything anyway)
http://www.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Utilities#Dwarf_Foreman
http://www.dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Utilities#Dwarf_Manager

yep, i use the manager, but not foreman.      at the moment i have 15 children in a 75 dorf fortress...   im considering making them all fishermen and letting them sit at the pond outside my fortress and catch turtles until they are all abducted by gobbos.