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[amade]

So, in anticipation of my Queen's arrival I had built a royal throne room, 2 royal dining rooms, 2 royal bedrooms, 2 royal mausoleums... You know, the full set. Including the rooms for her advisor.

But...

When she arrived her consort didn't arrive with her. Nor did the advisor. I wondered if it's because they weren't listed in the civilisation menu though I had often thought that it's because they weren't important enough to be listed in there. A husband was listed in the queen's relationship list (along with all her extended family) so I can only assume that her husband is deceased. Still, I had expected that the advisor would arrive with her at the very least.

So now I have an extra royal bedroom/dining room/tomb. Oh, and the rooms for the advisor too. What's vexing is that I had meticulously planned out the layout for these rooms, smoothed and engraved the floors and walls, furnished it with exquisite furniture, etc etc etc... And though I despise all the nobles (except for my very useful dungeon master) I hate to have commoners living in these rooms. The common should stay oppressed common and sleep in filthy practical 2 by 1 dirt rooms close to the noisy workshops so they can get to slave work faster. I already have special rooms made for my legendary/champ dwarfs and my mayor lives in a high tower above ground. It doesn't seem right to give my duchess the spare royal rooms either.

Any ideas on what I should do to vent out my frustation on this no-show?


Note: The queen arrived due to normal circumstances and not via discovery of adamantine.

[Hawkfrost]

Flood the room with carp.

Or give it to your favorite dwarf.

[Rhenaya]

you like the dungeon master, give it the dungeonmaster!

[Onlyhestands]

Give it to a peasant and watch all the nobles go melancholic.

[userpay]

Give it to a legendary.

[brainfire]

Wait until a goblin leader invades and capture it in a cage.

Put the cage in the room and hook it up to a lever. Lock all the doors into the room. Optionally include a cheesemaker sacrifice. Pull the lever. Congratulations, you have a noble goblin POW.

[amade]

Wait until a goblin leader invades and capture it in a cage.

Put the cage in the room and hook it up to a lever. Lock all the doors into the room. Optionally include a cheesemaker sacrifice. Pull the lever. Congratulations, you have a noble goblin POW.

Best idea yet. With any luck i can get the goblin leader to seduce the queen or the other way around and then they'll get married and I'll get a complete royal couple. From that day on a race of half goblin-half dwarf will rise to supremacy and subjugate both the dwarven and goblin civilisations.

[Creamcorn]

Wait until a goblin leader invades and capture it in a cage.

Put the cage in the room and hook it up to a lever. Lock all the doors into the room. Optionally include a cheesemaker sacrifice. Pull the lever. Congratulations, you have a noble goblin POW.

Best idea yet. With any luck i can get the goblin leader to seduce the queen or the other way around and then they'll get married and I'll get a complete royal couple. From that day on a race of half goblin-half dwarf will rise to supremacy and subjugate both the dwarven and goblin civilisations.

Sounds erotic, let us know if you succeed. Optionally make sure you have a back up file just in case, optionally use Dwarf Companion.

[Martian]

Replace the bed in the royal bedroom with the coffin of a dwarf that died a heroic death.

[Deathworks]

Greetings!

How about making them a complex dining hall/ball room? Of course, I do not know the layout of your fortress, but if you could gather all the unused rooms in a separate section, you could make all the doors internal and turn it all into a big meeting hall. Put in some extra furniture but also leave lots of space for standing around.

You know, I am thinking about all those fancy residences like Versailles, or the things you see in the movies about the high society of the 19th century.

Deathworks

[EverybodylovesTJ]

Holy Carp Deathworks is back!

Also, you should probably do the Goblin thing. You'll finally discover how there are Goblins in Dwarven Civs!

[MuonDecay]

Wait until a goblin leader invades and capture it in a cage.

Put the cage in the room and hook it up to a lever. Lock all the doors into the room. Optionally include a cheesemaker sacrifice. Pull the lever. Congratulations, you have a noble goblin POW.

Best idea yet. With any luck i can get the goblin leader to seduce the queen or the other way around and then they'll get married and I'll get a complete royal couple. From that day on a race of half goblin-half dwarf will rise to supremacy and subjugate both the dwarven and goblin civilisations.

For bonus points, install a clear glass window between their bedroom and the hallway. The halls shall floweth over with green.