My most recent anticlimactic moment involves one of my most beloved dwarves. The Sheriff, who was a Champion Axedwarf and had fifty-two sentient beings on his kill list, in addition to a dozens of wildlife critters, including elephants and gorillas. I even gave her the professional title of "Bad-Ass". This girl could wipe out armies by herself. Or so I thought.
A few goblin snatchers and kobold thieves had prompet me to set up squad stations by the land end of the bridge which is the only way into my fortress and rotate my six military champions on duty to stand at these spots. Note that these locations are somewhat far away from the fortress proper and just out of bowshot from the edge of the map.
So I have the Sheriff stationed by the bridge and another champion further north(to catch stragglers and enemies discovered by wildlife) when a vile force of darkness arrives. It was not a terrifying sight. No historical goblins, no elite marksmen, I don't even think there was a single weaponmaster in the army. The squad closest to the bridge consisted of several marksmen, but I thought that would be no deal. So I send Bad-Ass to prove her name and the first bolt shot at her pierces her heart. Effin' typical. To make matters worse, the other champion has a damaged brain, so while he did get his Wrestling skill to Legendary, he was still only a Skilled Spearman. He did not encounter the marksmen, and managed to gore four goblins before being dogpiled and slowly taken apart.
Ah well, life goes on. Bad-Ass gets a platinum sarcophagus, but the army marches onward to the fortress gates. I activate my entire army, including a dozen skilled marksdwarves which are positioned in advantageous positions above and around the entrance. These have routed formidable armies with flashing goblins in the past, and all the melee dwarves did was mop up the rout. So I'm not worried... except for that Royal Guard and a random marksdwarf running out towards the approaching force of darkness. Damnit.
The marksdwarf manages to shoot down a couple of goblins before falling under the hail of enemy fire(miraculously he survives, but badly injured). The Royal Guard, however, is an entirely different story. Royal and Fortress Guards in this fortress progressed in skill far quicker than I anticipated, and many gained elite status in wrestling before I could draft them into the army proper. Since then, many had reached legendary status. Still not content to give the Guards much privileges and being short on steel(no flux on the map), I outfitted them with leather armor and leather bucklers. No weapons.
And so it was that this guard, armored in leather and wielding only a leather buckler, charged out to meet the wall of flying barbed iron, dodged and blocked every single bolt and proceeded to bash the melee goblins into wobbly, bloody masses of flesh while under steady arrowfire.
He routed the entire army. I think his left hand got scratched.
Damn Royal Guards.