This is the rather unremarkable journal of Rovod Abantilesh, a failed dwarven guard who was quested by Zan Kikrosttathtat to fetch a bag of plump helmet spawn from the neighboring fortress of Cheerfultrade. The journal was discovered by a merchant caravan in the winter of 328 of the Age of Heroes. No one has seen or heard of Rovod since the year prior. In the spring of 329, Zan Kikrosttathtat was brought to trial for murder by arduously boring task. He was found not guilty of murder; his lawyer successfully argued his case of mistaken identity.
The journal reads as follows:
3rd of Slate, 327
It has been a day since I departed from Tormentroars, and I decided to keep a journal of my travels. This tunnel is sure to hold many surprises and wonders for me! I surely cannot wait to see light though—the plump helmet spawn Zan asked me to get are important for the winter harvest.
4th of Slate
Just an hour ago I thought I heard a naked mole dog's cry through the walls of the tunnel. Frightened, I dashed ahead until the familiar howl of the tunnel wind was all I could hear.
6th of Slate
Just when I thought this tunnel had been completely cleaned out of dangers, I nearly tripped over an unsmoothed stone on the floor! That will have to be reported to the tunnel's caretakers. Now I wonder who they may be...
10th of Slate
I noticed an interesting stalagmite today. It looked damp. I wonder if there may be a stream somewhere nearby, or maybe a cave river.
11th of Slate
My day was kept interesting by my almost tripping over a shoelace. This was an unexpected turn of events! I retied it, swearing to myself that I would replace these pigtail shoes once I make it to Cheerfultrade.
14th of Slate
Strange, I didn't think it would take more than a week to make this trip. Maybe I am losing track of time. In any case, I am running low on water. The rations should last, but I will need to find water soon or else I may not make it.
15th of Slate
Getting fatigued. Found another damp stalagmite. Licked it for a few minutes, before the stone scraped my tongue. After that, my own blood was all I could drink.
17th of Slate
It's not ale, but my own urine has served to keep me alive. The two taste pretty similar, honestly. I'm now also running low on rations. I had expected there to be a bit more cave life in this tunnel... or at least some other traveling merchants that would sell me a little something to keep me going. I haven't heard any noises or voices at all lately. It seems I am alone in here.
19th
Mud from ceiling pools are my daily fare now. Why won't this tunnel end?
20
Whoever reads this—find Zan Kikros...Kikr... damn. I can't remember how to write his name.... find him and kill him...
21
I wonder which is worse: Dying of starvation, or dying of boredom. I have chosen the former. Goodbye.
Although Rovod's dying wishes of revenge on Zan were not realized, Rovod's tale has served as a useful anecdote for anyone attempting to go into a cave alone. And no, bringing a drunk or two does not count as good company.
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Topic: Rovod's Cantankerous Cruise through the Comedic Cave (Read 1030 times)