I realized I forgot to mention that I have no military, but I see all you smarty-pants already got that figured out.
I find, however, that there are quite a few good sides to having those skills evolve.
For starters, I believe skill increases trigger increases in stats like toughness and agility.
On the subject of stat increases from conversation, I'm pretty sure that's a bug as there is no way talking to people can be considered a strenuous physical activity that warrants Mr. Loitering Peasant becoming an atomic super man who can rip a dwarf in half with his bare hands. Then when THOSE dwarves start a tantrum they're not going to 'get into a fist fight' they're going to go on a murderous rampage!
Also, without friendships, no relations will start, no dwarves will get married, and no new dwarves will be born. For people who embrace new dwarven population, this is a bad thing.
Most people consider children pretty useless as it takes over a decade for them to become adults and contribute to your fort. Not to mention that if you draft migrant peasants into the military they are most likely married to another migrant and will carry their offspring into battle. And when Urist junior gets bisected by a goblin swordsman you get even more unhappy thoughts. And let us not forget losing a spouse is a worse thought than losing a friend.
So yeah, married dwarves = higher chance of tantrum spiral.
Finally, some of the social skills that increase are actually handy.
They help in keeping other dwarves happy on a daily basis.
I'm not sure if all this weighs up against having a depressed spiral of death once good dwarven friends start to die.. But I've never had one of those spirals anyway... just heard about them.
From what I've seen and heard, no amount of happy thoughts can outweigh the stacked effects of that many friends dying.
I dont think that would really work as the most chatty ones are the military dwarves as previously noted. That means that the group most prone to death, who are well trained in martial arts and armed to the teeth are the ones who are most likely to get a tantrum.
Perhaps if you built your butchery in the barracks the soldiers would become hardened individuals from witnessing the death of livestock? I'm sure you could also put one into the meeting zone to harden your civilians as an alternative to not having dwarves make friends or something. Once they 'don't really care about anything anymore' the chance of tantruming from friends dying could be greatly stemmed.
And a well trained, and equipped fortress guard with a large enough jail does wonders to stor tantrums. killing of tantruming dwarves immidiatly and throwing minor offenders into jail til they start to chill of a little.
Although I have heard that the fortress guard can stop a tantrum spiral, it doesn't help when you make guards too strong or too weak as they'll either go around beating everyone to death or get murdered themselves. The nobility with their mandates and punishments also make the fortress guard look like a bad choice. Not to mention that the fortress guard is fairly useless in all other respects and can tantrum themselves.