Bosley slowly came to his senses, once again. “Ok, did all that really just happen? Are we really in the middle of NOWHERE starting a god forsaken fortress?”
“Yep, the Fortress of Love” said Filbert, in all seriousness.
Bosley shook himself off and stood up. He had apparently been moved near a local cliff face, and he could hear the sounds of digging coming from the cliff face. “Hah, funny. So who are you anyways?” this last question directed at the newcomer who had so recently broken the bad news to him.
“Cummings sir. Albert Cummings.”
“Right, ok, so Cummings. Why do you keep calling me sir?”
“Well sir, that is because you are officially in charge of this expedition.” “WHAT!? How did that happen? I’m not even qualified.” Filbert chose this moment to interject “Apparently there was a clerical error.” “What? A clerical error? What type of clerical error.” “Well Sir”, explained Cummings, “The rest of the expedition got together and nobody wanted the position, so they ‘clerically errored’ you into the position.” Bosley took a deep breath started rubbing his temples. This was going to be a long day.
Some time later…
“So explain to me again” said Bosley looking around in amazement, “Why the entrance hall is shaped like a heart?” Filbert stepped forward to explain, but Bosley interrupted. “No no, nevermind. I already know, even though I don’t want to know. Alright, continue with the tour. Lets see what we have so far.”
Cummings proceeded towards the stairwell, when Bosley casually mentioned “And unless we are doing something else with them, lets chain some of those war dogs we brought with us to the front entrance. Keep away the goblin thieves.” Cummings nodded with approval, “Yes sir. A fine idea.”
The trio walked down into the second level of the new fortress and into a square shaped room that had roughly enough room to kill twelve people in it. Well, that was a bit of a bizarre way to think of it, thought Bosley, but it was immediately what had popped to mind. As if that bugger was reading his thoughts, Cummings whispered to him “It is the central guard room. Phil, our architect, designed it so that any passage or entrance to our fortress that could possibly let intruders in would pass through this room.” Bosley looked around approvingly and whispered in return “Sounds like a good plan to me.”
“Why are we whispering?” Whispered Filbert. Cummings pointed at two piles of rags in the corner. No, wait, two dwarves, with pick axes. “Our miners are sleeping. They need some rest before they continue with the construction of the lower levels. Sirs, if you would follow me.”
Cummings guided them through a separate door which lead into a trade depot. “You already have it built!?” Said Bosley with surprise. “Yes Sir, it was one of our first priorities upon arrival. But…” he said as he guided them up through the trade depot exit to the outside. “we need your guidance on where to proceed from here Sir.” “Well, lets start by getting some storage rooms set up on level 3 below the guard room, and some workshops set up on level 4, with plenty of stairway access between the two levels. Then we should start thinking about an irrigation…”
Bosley was cut off as suddenly, a panicked scream sounded from directly behind the two men, causing Bosley to dive to the ground and cover his head. Not a second too soon either, as Filbert, traveling at a speed no dwarf should ever achieve, flew over his head and into a patch of briar bushes.
Looking up from his newfound foxhole, Bosley, in short and gasping breaths, scoped out his situation and started climbing to his feet, uncertain of the future danger of flying dwarves. From inside the fortress he heard a shout
“Watch out! Testing the drawbridge!”
It was going to be a long day.
-------------------------------------------------
Bosley, was thoroughly disgusted. Filbert looked bashful, and Cummings wore his usual, infuriatingly neutral expression. “How is it that EVERY room in this entire structure is shaped like a HEART!?” Bosley was exasperated, and his migrane was returning.
Filbert tried to explain “Well, you see Bos, you didn’t specify the shape of the rooms, so the miners just decided to” Bosley interjected “No. No no. It doesn’t matter. Whatever. Heart shaped rooms for everyone. Is the irrigation system ready to be tested?”
“Yes sir, as soon as you give the word sir.”
A sudden thought struck Bosley, “How did they find the underground lake anyways?” Filbert scratched his head and said “Well, it seems one of da men is mightily skilled with a dousing rod, and well, while he was snogging with the woodcutter, his stick rammed straight into the wall. Water sprouted right out and covered them both!”
Bosley, not oblivious to the sexual innuendo relaxed and chuckled a bit “His stick eh? I bet that hurt.” Filbert frowned, “Well, I wouldn’t imagine Bos, I mean, its just a stick right?”
“Filbert….”
----------------------------------------------------
“Why are there pink bows on our guard dogs?”
“The elves have arrived sir.”
“Have we set up the trade depot flooding mechanism yet?”
“No sir.”
“Damn”
-------------------------------------------
“Why is my room so warm?”
”Phil decided that the initial housing unit would be best served if it were heated by magma sir.”
“… magma?”
“Yes sir.”
“Genius.”
------------------------------------
“The access tunnels are shaped like hearts too?”
“Yeah Bos.”
“That’s a little excessive, isn’t it?”
Filbert shrugs
Storage
Workshops
Lava access to workshops and Living Unit
Soon to be heated living units
Author
Topic: The Fortress of Love (Bloodline game) (Read 1859 times)