"Friends, Nobles; Peasants and goblin slaves... We are gather here today in memory of Cerol Avuzikthag, savior of Ingishuthmik. Enemy of The Evil of Spirit, The Cult of Doom and The Courageous Terrors. Citizen of The Gleeful Boulders and captain of the guard of the Labyrinthine Whips"
"It's just a bruise...."
"As you all know, we were besieged not six months ago by our perfidious goblins foes. They sent two squads of mace-goblins towards our beach side resort and had their best bow-goblins leading the charge. We were prepared of course, and soon had our home sealed off, but as any true dwarf knows, surviving the siege is only half the battle."
"I sent our two best warriors, renown for their martial prowess and shield work, to stand by the cliff side entrance while I supervised the complicated lowering and raising of drawbridges necessary to corral the enemy into the our prized 'corridor of spikes'. Quite a success I assure you, but besides the point."
"The tale I retell today is of the fight that occured in near our workshops when, unbeknownst to me, both our heroes, struck by the most honorable and dwarvenly of needs, choose to leave their posts for a drink as I ordered the cliff side entrance opened."
"Our home was in chaos when we realized that no warriors lay in wait for our enemy and that we had given them access to the very heart of our fortress. I was in a flurry shouting for dwarves to clear the hallways, locking doors and drafting every able bodies dwarf who'd been through rudimentary kobold wrestling camp and ordering them to the auxiliary weapons store room. It was then that Cerol, accomplished swordsdwarf and professional wrestler rose to the task and charged the blasted bowgoblin."
"We also honor and thank Erith, Macelord, who returned from the stills in time to take seven arrows, only two of which passed his shield and Goden, recruit. While it is true that Cerol, unarmed and unarmoured charged into the middle of a bakers dozen bloodthirsty mace-goblins to repeatedly pound their leaders head into the smooth andesite floor, it was only thanks to Goden and Erith's brave sacrifice. While every other dwarf ran for cover, Goden, still under orders to take up a shield for rudimentary wrestling lessons, tried to head through the enemy to get to the armoury. While Erith distracted the vicious and deadly bow goblin with his inviting leg, Goden tackled the first front line soldier, opening the critical path our Captain needed and distracting the bulk of the forces during the rest of the fight."
"Our hopes and thoughts go out to Goden, who even now rests in the barracks with four mangled limbs, moaning for water and food in his few bouts of lucidity. He has earned his place in the hall of heroes."
"But while all three dwarves have earned thier tombs, it was Cerol who rose up after being flung away by a mighty but lucky blow. It was Cerol who charged through a good dozen foes and dodged no less than three arrows to once again grapple the elite bow goblin. And it was Cerol who broke his bloody arms and finally routed the hated foe."
"And it was Cerol who received minor brain damage in the fray, when she stuck the ceiling near the merchant's ramp. While Erith and Goden might survive to once again spar with each other and rise up to military greatness, or die of their wounds and be buried with glory; our Hero and Savior is denied both comforts."
"Just a bruise I tell you. I get headaches when it's cold, that's it!"
"And that is why we are gathered here to celebrate the second attempt of the first annual Minesqueezed arena games!"
"In our first round Ber the Hammerer will fend off a dozen goblins while protecting the baron and baroness. You'll note a striking similarity to last weeks opening, save that we've replaced the harpies with a more land bound foe to protect our audience and prevent a repeat of our past mistakes. Now, if the Philosopher would be so kind as to throw the switch..."
"Let the games begin!"
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Topic: A grand memorial. (Read 1019 times)