HOWDY, PARDNER!
"Welcome to my saloon. I'm Bark E. Per, the owner of this here saloon. I see you got a nice hat on. If'n yer willin' to wager your fancy hat, I got a few other guys with fancy hats ready to gamble their fortunes on the most popular game around. By fortunes I mean hats, and by most popular game I mean most vile torture we put visitors through for our own entertainment. Yeah, you're in? But you don't even know - oh well, it's your funeral. Let's go over some ground rules first, cowboy."
"The game you are going to play is called
My Forum Spitoon. The game is named this because it is my spitoon, and I usually have it out in the forum for people to use freely. You know, the forum you walked through to get here. Here, let me show you the spitoon, as well as your own currently blank face and the blank faces of your opponents!"
"If'n you want to play you need to first color in your hat and draw your face.
Your hat cannot be a shade of green. This will be important later, when I tell you why this is important. The game starts when all four
victims participants color their hats.
You can take your first turn once all four players are colored in and can take your next turns every 24 hours afterward unless all players have acted, in which case you can take another action immediately.
You have two Actions you can take:
Spit: You spit into the spittoon. For some reason
your spit is the color of your hat. Spit always settles on the lowest empty layer, because of gravity and our local religion detests cavitation.
Sip: Using one of my fancy straws, purchased for the low price of $1 a month (no returns, no refunds), you can
remove three spit layers of your choosing. Any layers of spit or vomit above layers you sip need to be dropped down until there are no empty layers between fluids. Gravity again, y'see. As one imagines this doesn't sit well in the gut, so
the turn after you sip is used Vomiting into the spittoon.
Vomit is a shade of green and settles on the lowest empty layer much like spit, but
vomit cannot be targeted by Sip.
All competitors take turns spitting, sipping, and vomiting until the spittoon is full. Once any fluid reaches the brim of the spittoon the non-vomit layers are tallied up and the spittooner with the most spit in the spittoon wins the game! And the hats! The losers lose their hats, and have to live with the knowledge that they can't spittoon the best.
Now that you're all up to speed, I just need you to sign this paper with the curious runes on it. Don't worry, it'll be fine. This is definitely just meant to help me keep track of who is playing."
- Your name should be here!
- Or here?
- Maybe you're a third tier kind of guy
- This space is empty
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Topic: My Forum Spitoon: Bark E. Per's Saloon (0/4 Players) (Read 375 times)