"So. Soon's I hit my 20th birthday, Pappy comes to me and says, 'Son. Greatness doesn't come to everyone, but, I want you to know. That your great great great great great great Grandpappy had a wish.'" His eyes become excited at this point in his story, "So I says, 'Wha's that pa? He wanted something left to us something noice?' And he says, 'No son, he left YOU something noice.'"
Tilting my head a bit as I wrote down his words, I said, "What? Your.. many-times removed grandfather left YOU of all people something? I thought the inheritance laws were more stricter than that." I took note of this as he continued. "That's what I thought. But here's the thing. Us Peakmountains have been apparently asked by my great great great great great great grandpappy to save enough coin from each year to hide away."
"Hide away for what?" I peered at him, questioning with contempt. "One moment, Mr. Botherdrum. I'll go get them."
Sudem quickly ran off to the other room again. I muttered a curse under my breath as I took some more of the soup. If it was colder, I think it would have made me sick to my stomach. Sudem quickly ran back into the room, carrying some cheap metal armour and a very large iron axe. Resting the axe against the table, and the armour on the floor, he sat back down in his chair, and says, "So my Pa says, 'Your great great great great great great grandpappy had a wish that one of his own blood be great.' But at that time, I'm told, only the Dwarves had access to steel and iron whilst us human folk had to fend for ourselves with bronze and wooden clubs." He rubbed the back of his head a moment as he added, "Though I don't quite reckon that made sense, but I was younger and stupid so I believed it cause it was my Pa."
Rolling my eyes, I wrote down, "Investigate for tax evasion, crime and stupidity apparent in family line," and said, "Continue, Mr. Peakmountain."
"Roight. So my Pa brings me to this room and sits me down and says, 'I just went to town the other day, and I picked up a few things extra.' So I says, 'What sort of things, pa?' And then he shows me them."
I rose my eyebrow and said, "Showed you what?" "Well, the axe and the armour, obviously."
I at once facepalmed at this rediculous statement. I wrote down "Investigate for theft. Stupidity is VERY obvious in family line." And then I said, "Now, how did he manage that?"
He smiled and said, "That's all cause of my great great great-" "YEs, yes. GO ON. I know who you're talking about," I interupted, "Please continue."
Being a bit perturbed, Sudem, says, "Roight. So his wish was that everyone in our family, he included and everyone else after him, save up enough gold from every harvest and save up til one of us could afford to buy the necessary equipment to go asmashing monster heads."
I rose my eyebrow and said, "And so finally, one was able to do so then?"
He nodded and said, "Roight on the money, Mr. Botherdrum. Pa finally noticed there was enough gold to purchase a suit of armour about my size and the largest axe he could find."
At this moment I could feel the headache begin as I asked, "So you mean to tell me, that every Peakmountain up to your many times removed and deceased grandfather, had both the common sense and the respect for a many removed and deceased family member that none of those entrusted with the knowledge of the gold did not merely go off and spend it?"
"Peakmountains are very honest sir, I'll tell you that."
I rubbed my forehead as I wrote, "Dishonesty is also very apparent in family line. Investigate immediately." "Please continue, Mr. Peakmountain."
"Roight," he nodding again as he moved his hands about, "So's my Pa says, 'Son, you need to train with these, cause now you're heading off into the world soon and will need to learn quick or else you're going to get chewed up and spit out quicker than you can say 'A fallen log in Losthold is one quick for mold.' Though I suppose it could take a bit long to say that if you weren't ready for it, and another thing-"
I could tell he was about to wander off on a tangent about tubers or something of another, so I motioned for him to stop and said, "Please. Continue Mr. Peakmountain."
He blinked and said, "Oh, roight, roight, roight. So after a while, me all ready to go out into the world and used to the axe and armour, he says to me, 'Roight son. Nows the time you gotta rub the shit out of your eyes and go make something of yourself. Go to town and look about for work. The Mayor's usually got something for smashin' good and proper.' So I wave bye to Pa, and say bye to Ma's stone 'fore I head out into the wilds to smash me somethin' fierce. Didn't take long."
"What do you mean?" I enquired as I ate some more of the soup.
"Well, it was the damned wolves, you see."
"wolves? You encountered wolves, I presume?" I took the soup and swallowed hastily, taking my quill back to write some more.
"Yer, sir. Seven of them. Maybe eight. I dunno," he rubs his hand on his chin as he talked. "I couldn't tell since after it was all over, all the parts were everywhere and nothing was connected to each other proper."
"Wait. Do you mean the wolves?" I rose my eyebrow at this. "Well, the wolves, obviously sir, since I'm still all here." He grinned dumbly as he answered my semi-rhetorical question.
"I see..." I looked down to my parchment, most of his story written down already. "Oh bother. Hold up a minute," I said as I reached for more in my pack.
"Take as long as you need Mr. Botherdrum. I still got more to tell you."
Sighing at what he just told me, I pulled out another sheet of parchment and said drearily, "Very well.. Continue."
"So. I says, 'Well. That was a roight noice job if I tells meself. Pity noone saw.' And then I headed off to town. So time passes, I meet with the Mayor." He nods and adds, "Your fine Mayor, I might add, and so I asks him if he gots anythin' for me to do."
"Imagine that." I rolled my eyes as he talked, slowly writing down everything he said, since he may make a fuss later if I didn't get everything down right.