Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[sirryan2002]

Angerdanger:Prologue

Ustuth wasn't terribly fond of Elves.
His home, Helmshawk, was carved out of The Point of Incinerating mountain range, a testament to Dwarven power and ingenuity
Its halls were lined with gold statues and chok full of masterwork furniture. Then, a library was built inside Helmshawk.
Fortunately, Ustuth loves books, he was an avid reader and writer himself. However, the library attracted unwanted outside attention.
With over a hundred books lining the Helves the King of the Continents of Fury opened the front gate to hordes of scholars:
Not dwarves, but humans, goblins, and worst of all, ELVES.

Like a putrid gaggle of kobolds, they ate Ducim's food and crowded the fortress
Those entitled tree huggers thought they Belonged there. They drank his ale and plum wine all while skipping around in their
dinky wooden armor and sticks they referred to as "weapons." In Ustuth's eyes they were a scourge upon dwarven kind.

Ustuth would show them. He pleaded to the King to kick these buffoons out before they tainted Helmshawk.
The king refused, citing that it brought the fortress much reputation. Ustuth could no longer bear to watch his home be invaded, he packed up his meager belongings and set out. Along for the ride was a ragtag bunch of drunks. In typical dwarven fashion they had been kicked out of a nearby hillock for spilling the mayor's masterfully crafted barrel of ☼Sewer Brew☼ and starting a bar fight with a visiting Baron's consort
Clearly, they were a perfect target for Ustuth.

Afterall, Ustuth would need a few porters comrades if he was to complete his journey
You may be asking what Ustuth was planning.
His 8 slightly sober companions were wondering the same thing. However, Ustuth said nothing and just smiled

The days slid into weeks and the warm temperate forests in a cold unforgiving sheet of snow. After topping off the last of the blueberry wine, Kogsak, one of the eight dwarves, stumbled and died on the spot. Hypothermia. They continued on into this now terrifying landscape. After two weeks of travel, they were nearly at their destination. In the distance behind them, they noticed an outline suspiciously dwarf shaped sillouette.
"Kogsak!" exclaimed Rakust, the group's friendly cheesemaker. He excitedly ran toward him, it was indeed Kogsak however Ustuth had his doubts that he was right in the head. His suspicions were confirmed when Rakust's skull was caved in by a <=Microline Mug=> wielded by Kogsak. Kogsak began eating his once jubilant and alive friend

There was something terribly wrong with wherever the hell they were. Not waiting around for him to finish his meal the group of 7 continued on to their final destination. After trudging through snowstorms and endless stretches of snow Ustuth turned around and proudly announced that they had made it. "Finally! A place no coward Elf will ever come" he yelled out as he took in the desolate white landscape with the same joy that an explorer would exhort when laying eyes to a luscious green landscape prime for colonizing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Thats why we're out here!?" Asmel angrily questioned "because you wanted to get away from the Elves?"
If Ustuth heard him he paid no attention and let out a yell "Let the name Angerdangers strike fear into any tree hugger that dares approach." He then ceremoniously planted the handle of his woodcutter's axe into the ground.

Seeing that going back to Helmshawk wasn't an option at this point the rest of the dwarves begrudgingly began to establish a new home.

- - - - - Felsite Y77

Ustuth with the help of the six other dwarves began establishing a small outpost.
After punching through the Icy surface and past the aquifer a small living area was carved out
along with it a stockpile and workshops.


 Next to these meager beginnings was Ustuth's living quarters.
An extravagant bedroom with gold walls and more armor stands and racks than one could ever need.
Ustuth thought it was quite necessary. His companions probably would disagree as they were stuffed into a dormitory



Only a month in, the mason and one of the miners fell in love. Clearly people were getting settled into this new life
rather quickly. While everyone else was socializing, digging away, or marveling at a fine table one of the stoneworkers
Kikrost was less inclined to let her guard down. As she stared outside all she could see was large swathes of powdery snow
and sheets of exposed rock. Something seemed off but she couldn't put her finger on it. The loneliness was unsettling and
the bitter cold rendered the landscape lifeless. Perhaps they were truly alone and Ustuth had succeeded in true isolation.
Atleast thats what Kikrost kept telling herself.

Ustuth was couldn't be happier with the progress. At this point he hadn't seen an Elf in a month, infact he insisted that he
would likely never see one again. Much to his delight. He had big plans for Angerdangers.

NOTE:
-Feel free to ask to name dwarves, it makes the experience more fun and unique!

[sirryan2002]

- - - - Malachite 77
By mid-summer, some of the snow had melted and the deep snowstorms that had reduced visibility had largely receded. For once,
the surface of Angerdangers was almost serene. Maybe this place wasn't so awful. Apparently Besmar on our trip had gotten
wasted at every tavern from here to Helmshank. He neglected to let Ustuth know that he had boasted about our "amazing"
fortress to every adventurer he was in the general vicinity of.



We got a few visitors during the summer months, 7 human mercenaries and one dwarf adventurer. Ustuth had little patience
for non-dwarven visitors, especially ones that brought little value to Angerdangers. Ustuth told the humans to bugger off
but let the Dwarf stay as Ustuth had do uphold his "Dwarven Honor." His name was Udil and Kirkrost wrote him off as a
grade A nut. All he would do is sit around drinking alcohol and muttering about adventuring into the underground caves we
were about to breach so he could slay monsters and become a local "hero."

Infrastructural improvements had been made to Angerdangers, infuriated by the musty cramped dorms they were forced to reside in, everyone bugged Ustuth to improve the situation. Clearly irked Ustuth dragged a barrel of Dwarven ale into his ornate office and drunkidly drew up
plans for a residential level to the fortress. Whether it was the alcohol or Ustuth himself the mad man designed it into a
circle with rooms haphazardly stuffed to fit into the said circle. Asmel and Alath swore to everyone that Ustuth had downed
the entire barrel of alcohol. Ustuth staggered out of his office and handed the plans off to the miners and set them to work



It was a stylish albeit weird design. With the residential area carved out, Ustuth decided to get industry going so he could
trade for better-tasting food. Nothing could possibly be worse than freezer-burned cave lobster.

- - - - Galena 77

Migrants! 8 souls to be exact, each one as useless as the next. However, Ustuth saw their potential. While they may not be artisans
they could certainly learn how to carve stone blocks and engrave/smooth walls. In fact, he used three of them to smooth the walls and floors of his room. Ustuth was enjoying his new-found leadership position as the expedition leader in Angerdanger. However, he could go without the constant meetings with aspiring cave-delvers and adventures, it seems like humans just don't seem to take a hint.

After witnessing a troop of 3 kobold thieves skulk around the boundaries of the gate area Ustuth came to the conclusion that
the simple walls and gate wouldn't be able to keep out other lurking dangers. He commissioned the fresh migrants to slave away
at the masonry workshops and mass-produce rock blocks.

Udil the adventuring hammerdwarf was delighted when the dwarves finally breached the caverns and built into its depths.
She immediately paraded into the caverns in search of beasts to slay. Unfortunately, the caverns seemed as desolate
and empty as the surface. A few drathlas came and went, but even with a lack of a target Udil still soldiered on with a
seemingly iron devotion to her adventure. While the rest of the fortress tended to view Udil as a zealous idiot Ustuth admired
her endless desire to achieve glory and fame. Ustuth saw a little of himself in her, but only a little. For Ustuth was not
the type to brainlessly charge into death, he preferred a little more scheming and a little more deceit.

- - - - - Sandstone 77

Ustuth was furious. After another drunken night drawing plans up in his office he had to tear them up.

The fortress entrance was better walled and a drawbridge airlock installed. Additionally, a trade depot spot was installed
and a broker instated. Athel, the new broker, almost immediately went to the surface and In the distance, he spotted a small
group of travelers. Right on time!  2 traders and their horses, including accompanying guards. To Ustuth it was a rather small trading
group however he was excited to begin growing commerce. What Athel neglected to spot was a much large group to the Northeast
approaching quickly which would prove to be a fatal mistake.

Athel began haggling with the merchant over a few small trinkets and some elk tripe. While the merchant certainly wasn't
interested in the +diorite bracelet+ or a =serpentine crown= his attention was certainly caught by a polar bear woman vaulting the
depot wall. A hulking beast with bleach white fur billowing in the harsh blizzard. She wielded a snowy owl leather pair
of trousers. While not a menacing weapon, in the hands of this behemoth it was still lethal. The fortress alarm sounded and
Athel ran inside while the fortress walled up the staircase.

The depot was a gruesome scene. The polar bear woman repeatedly bashed the merchant in the head with her pair of pants until
his brain was no longer solid. The rest of her tribe launched themselves into a frenzy. It was a tense fight, the macedwarf
and marksdwarf against 7 burly opponents. While not having numbers on their sides the dwarves had training and cold iron equipment.
It was a bloodbath. Polar bear blood was splayed across the Depot walls and onto the trade goods. The trade horse
was decapitated and a polar bear man launched into the wall only to have his ribcage smashed and heart pierced with a mace.
In the end, only the guards and terrified outpost Liason stood. They quickly ran into the distance as they no longer had a
caravan to guard. The Liason chose to stay within the safety of the fortress.


Depot Macabre

Ustuth was very mixed about the matter. While gaining many needed supplies from the abandoned trade-depot he may have just
lost a valuable trading partner, only time will tell. However, he was angry that his defenses had failed so spectacularly. In
his anger, he ordered the gate draw bridge to be lowered so he could take in the failure of a defense he had designed. In his
rage-fueled exit he neglected to see if anyone was under the drawbridge before opening it. One of the merchants crippled and
bleeding on the ground and the marksdwarf that saved his life were both simotaneously atom smashed.

Ustuth didn't care. His fortress was stained with the blood of failure.

The dwarves watched as Ustuth angrily stamped into his officed and locked the door.


Ustuth enjoying food and wine while furiously planning his next build

Meanwhile, the rest of the fortress feasted: cave fish, pig milk, jaguar meat you name it. The merchant had brought a swathe
of exotic food and drinks. While a few dwarves may have perished another 15 went to bed with full stomachs. Yet in this
jubilant celebration something itched at the back of their tiny dwarven brains. What else did this hellish landscape have in
store for them?


Feel free to leave comments about Angerdangers and Ustuth or recommend dwarf names. This is my first story!

[Loud Whispers]

Ustuth has run out of fucks to give. Ustuth has shit to get done, he's too busy to give fucks

[Maloy]

ahahaha a land where their are no elves!
I hope Ustuth is ready when the elves shower him with praise for not cutting down the non-existent trees!

I love this and cool design!

[Salmeuk]

The design so far is great! Also, I've never encountered polar bear people. . are they immediately hostile? That's terrifying.

Dwarf me as one of the warriors, if you have any.. if not, as an engraver.

[sirryan2002]

- - - - - Granite 78

Ustuth watched as the aboveground section of the fortress grew, eventually, it would be impenetrable to attack. Two rough gabbro
bridges wired with the finest dwarven mechanisms sealed off the outer world from Angerdangers. Encircling the entrance to the
fortress was a circular outer wall towering over the flat landscape by 3 z-levels. Above the entrance was a brand new floor
being primed for use as a defensive area for marksdwarves and siege engines. For now, that's all it would be but Ustuth had plans
to add some Dwarven creativity to it later.

The rest of the fortress was puzzled as to why Ustuth was planning such an extravagant defense. They realized why too late.
When they took a second look at the map Ustuth had surreptitiously hidden away on their trip there they noticed something rather
alarming.




If Ustuth was up to anything the fortress couldn't tell. In fact, he was just himself as ever. According to Asmel, all the dwarf
ever did was sit in his office grumbling about Elves and their tasteless craftsmanship. Speaking of his office, it was still
extravagant as ever. It was plastered in papers scribbled with designs and adventurer petitions inked with a bold and deep red
stamp reading in bold: DENIED. In the midst of the chaos sat Ustuth on the daily. He was heavily devoted to making Angerdangers great. Ustuth was rather passionate about his job. Called it his "duty to Armok" and that he needed to please him. Whatever the hell that meant.
All the fortress cared about was that they were fed and kept alive.

hold on...

What's this?




The general silence that pervaded the fortress was quickly cloven asunder by a howl.

"WHAT do you mean there are ELVES outside MY fortress?"
Ustuth barreled out of his office and up the steps of the main fortress staircase and looked into the distance at an approaching
caravan. Elves, two of them. Ustuth ordered the fortress to pick up arms and slaughter the heathens. The dwarves refused.
"What do you mean you bloody won't do it?" Ustuth screamed. They didn't want to risk their own lives to fulfill their mad leader's
bloodlust. Ustuth stamped past them and into the depot himself.

After weeks of traveling into the most desolate place he could find. The Elves still found him. The Elves traversed the hellish landscape
dodge bandits and crossed a sea- two months travel just to show up at his gate. He glared at the elves and shouted obscenities.
Ustuth made it clear that even though he couldn't mount their heads on a stake on the spot he would make sure they didn't get away
with showing up to Angerdanger again. The elves looked confused and slightly insulted. After his rant, he grabbed pigtail parchment paper
and locked himself in his office. The broker quickly traded a -<-Serpentine Amulet->-  for some basic garden vegetables and sent the elves
on their way.

The fortress half expected Ustuth to draft an army and march on the elven capital that instant. Instead, he slid a note under his
office door ordering that the exterior walls be finished before he finished his =Plum Wine=. Fearing for their lives, the other
17 dwarves in the fortress quickly rushed to fulfill his request.

The fortress was already locked in the deep embrace of Winter. Snowstorms whipped at the walls of Angerdanger and blizzards
froze the noses of dwarves. It was a miracle nobody died from the cold. They toiled day and night building the walls of the fortress
not only fearing Ustuth but their neighbors they had discovered. Neighbors that lived in very large numbers nearby. Neighbors
with pointy metal sticks and beefy trolls that smashed bridges. Half-frozen and worked to death the dwarves of Angerdangers grew closer
together. After all, the fortress was starting to come together.

Just when the times seemed to be improving then came along Amas in the caves. A snail megabeast that spewed fire. A terrifying being
capable of mass destruction.



Ustuth took the alert in stride, he was more angered that his planning session was interrupted and he
nonchalantly told the dwarves just to wall off the entrance to the caves. It was a rather simple solution, a single stone
wall was erected in the cave hallways.

It was quite apparent to Kirkrost that the mighty beast was incapable of breaking through a dinky stone wall as she could hear muffled screeching and Amas's feeble attempts to smash through the diorite wall. While the thuds of an infuriated snail reverberated through the tunnels of Angerdangers, Ustuth walked out of his office after two long days of solitude and nailed a paper to the dining room wall.

And what was angrily scrawled on that paper you may ask?



It was an Elf trader drowning chamber.

In an odd break of Ustuth's regular behavior, he started mingling with the merry human adventurers. He even began approving
their monster hunting expeditions. It was the first time anyone saw Ustuth smile since the founding of Angerdangers.
The dwarves could only assume that maybe Ustuth had turned over a new leaf. 

**Meanwhile in the Caves**

Glory and Wealth. Nothing would stop Udil on her journey to achieve it. She sneaked through the cave wheat and past the trunks of
fungiwood. The caves had grown silent. Adrenaline pumped through Udil's veins. Creeping through the underbrush and taking great
care to avoid making a sound, She came upon a small outcropping. It was wrapped tight in vines and she was captivated
by the cave water dripping from the ceiling onto the rock below. Looking out It was a beautiful sight, plump helmets peppered the walls and
the amalgam of fungi created a fresco like a picture on the cave walls. It was an unusually warm day in the cavern, a silent warm
day. Maybe this was where life was at Udil thought to herself. She sat down and admired the view, setting her hammer down. She
admired all the different parts of life in the cave. The cave lakeshore, the rustling of cave grass, the shimmering reflection
of red and purple in puddles. Pure Bliss.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Loud Whispers]

It all makes sense now

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

NOW YOU WILL KNOW WHY YOU FEAR THE SNAIL.

You are wise to wall it away. To face it in battle would be assured annihilation of your very souls

[sirryan2002]

- - - - - Felsite 78

More Migrants? Poor sods don't even know what they're getting into.

What the hell?


A Dwarven Necromancer. Angerdangers newest citizen, bursts into Ustuth's office. Ustuth was taken aback by his upfront introduction to the necromancer but was more particularly puzzled by his odd requests. Throughout the necromancer's rambling, he continually referred to himself as Salmeuk. Ustuth could only guess that Salmeuk had lost his mind traversing the tundra. Regardless the fortress needed a military and Salmeuk seemed to be devoid of empathy and had apparently slain many humans and goblins alike. A perfect militia commander! His attache was two dwarven peasants without any skills other than being meat shields. Perhaps Salmeuk could beat some sense into them?

Immediately after gearing up and drilling for less than a minute. The militia was called down to the main gate. One of the carpenters was locked in a brawl with some Polar bear people who decided to pay the fortress a visit. Overwhelmed and undertrained, Salmeuk and his two peasant recruits quickly came up with a plan. They stood just to the side of gate draw bridge and ordered it to be opened and closed rapidly. As it
was being lowered, Salmeuk kicked one of the Polar bear woman in front of it. *CRUNCH* At this point the draw bridge had more kills than any dwarf in the fortress.



Seeing more polar bear people closing in, Salmeuk's squad took refuge in the fortress and locked the gate behind them until the polar bear people got bored of roaming around the fortress walls. The Geared Bands had their first successful hostile encounter. Hopefully, this would stay true for the near future.

With the caves still compromised by and sealed due to Amas, a lot of projects could not be completed around the fortress. The metal industry
had not be put together yet and there was no iron to be found so far. Additionally, the caravan drowning chamber had no access to the cave water which it desperately needed. It was quite clear that Amas had to go.

So Ustuth began devising one of his devious plans. Since Amas would likely behead or melt any dwarf Ustuth would send after him
he decided the best way to rid the world of this foul beast was to bury it under 10,000 tons of fine dwarven rock. He set the miners
off to dig out a tunnel and suspend a large chunk of rock over it held up by a thread of supports. Supports which would be linked
to a lever situated right next to Ustuth and his fine dwarven alcohol stash in his office. He wouldn't even have to leave his chair. The dwarves quickly progressed and suspended a large chunk of diorite right above a long hallway. Amas wouldn't even see it coming



Meanwhile, the fortress was growing restless again. Ustuth was upset that they considered the living conditions in Angerdanger
as "inhuman" and "worse than getting caught in the rain". A bunch of farmers even demanded that he build a guildhall for them. Coincidentally all paperwork for the request fell into Ustuth's fireplace. Ustuth had little patience for entitled dwarves but eventually acquiesced. More out of fear for his own life rather than caring for his citizens.

Welcome to Pimp my fortress.

Many parts of the fortress went under serious renovation. The dining hall was expanded and included a full-fledged food/drink storage area and a cordoned-off section for every workshop that produced food. The housing area has been completely filled with dwarves and the walls smoothed over. The fortress was beginning to run out of room for all the dwarves as there are now over 80. Many more levels were carved out and the military area was built on the 3rd floor of the above-ground tower. The Geared Bands were quite pleased and immediately began PT and training in there brand new barracks.



Due to the number of renovations being done Ustuth thought it an opportunistic moment to upgrade his own living quarters into a royal suite fit
for a king. Ustuth's old quarters were too cramped and his office not menacing with enough gold. His office became bigger by two-fold and saw the inclusion of two golden tables and a brand spanking new gold throne studded with silver. If you look to Ustuth's private dining area you'll see that it's choc-full of tables and chairs that will be used for lobbying merchants and dwarven nobles alike. Now taking a look on the golden goose egg of them all is the master bedroom suite. Equipped with diorite and golden statues of the highest quality, the bedroom really popped. If the walk-in armor stand and weapon racks rooms didn't impress you then surely the golden bar carpet and artifact bed would. A bed that not only was the comfiest in the fortress but was also worth over 10K in dwarf bucks. All expenses paid by the poor sods that migrated to Angerdanger.



This has concluded today's episode of Pimp my Fortress.
We will now return to a nightmare in fortress form your regularly scheduled program

Udil was a thorn in Ustuths side. Clearly, all the commotion and excitement in the fortress caused her to stir from her cold slumber in the caverns. Risen as a poltergeist she was quite capable of creating havoc. If she wasn't flipping over tables or throwing thrones down the main staircase she was terrorizing dwarves. It was not uncommon to see dwarves barrel out of their bedroom screaming bloody murder because Udil paid them a midnight visit. She did this all while wielding a devilish grin and maniacal laughter. Ustuth ordered a slab to be memorialized so she could be put down for good. He was getting tired of her rearranging the furniture in his new personal office.

Quite affected by these haunting, Bomrek, one of the hunters/carpenters, was running around the stockpile level trying helplessly to hunt down and kill a naked mole rat that had escaped the caverns into the fortress. He did this for weeks and had stopped drinking or eating anything.
At one point the mole-rat disappeared back underground but Bomrek continued to run around. Ustuth had written him off as clinically insane at this point and took it as a sign that maybe the fortress renovation was something that had needed to be done.



While this was happening Ustuth had ordered the caverns to be breached. It was time to take back the caverns. They were a fine piece of real estate that Ustuth was tired of going without. A lone miner, a dwarf named Kogan, was voluntold for the honor of knocking down the wall separating the fortress from Amas. Immediately, the fortress' adventurers were ecstatic at this opening and quickly rushed down to go slay some  monsters. In a few short minutes most of the adventurers had found the monster they had been desperately been looking for. If they hadn't dropped their arms and ran for their sorry lives they were either melted or had their insides splayed against a rock wall. The execution of one of the elf spearmen by Amas brought unmeasurable joy to Ustuth. However, sadly, a human spearman brought Amas's killing spree to an end by piercing his brain in a brawl. Amas had not even reached the cave-in trap. Dismayed by his lost opportunity to crush a megabeast Ustuth pulled the lever anyway. Coincidentally our hero human spearman was in the trap hallways when the rocks collapsed, crushing him instantly.



Ustuth found it humorous and sipped his plum wine as he wrote to the mountainhome regarding his fortresses valiant slaying of Amas.

Shortly after sending a messenger boy off into the harsh tundra in the middle of winter, he called all the adventurers into his office. At least what was left of them. One could hear their protests and angry cries all throughout the fortress as Ustuth immediately terminated each of their contracts and sent them on their way. The adventurers had exhausted their usefulness to Ustuth.

With the fortress populations growing to a healthy 90 souls, additions had to be made and bedrooms furnished. However that would take a few more months and a lot more digging. But for now everything was thriving and the fortress had yet to lose dwarf. There was no serious threat to worry about.

Yet.

NOTE: This is way too fun to make, I'm debating on what time to go piss off the goblins. They seem to keep to themselves and I'm ready to get some goblinite since my embark has 0 iron deposits (I checked with dfhack, there is literally none even with a deep metal embark). Regardless, Our friendly dictator Ustuth is up to something and I'm itching to know what.

[Loud Whispers]

RIP a hairy snail