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[Markrath]

You wake up in a strange and unknown room, your vision blurry and your ears ringing. Everything appears to be almost dazzlingly white. As your giddiness fades, you are able to see the scarce details of what seems to be a futuristic cell: it's simply a white, cubic room. The only peculiarity is a black grid which takes up the whole floor, composed of four rows and four columns.

You frantically look around in search of a way out and, after that research proves to be vain, of anything that could at least help you understand what the hell is going on. Nothing, this room is as empty as... your mind. You curl up in a corner, elbows on your knees and forehead resting on your hands. You've spent roughly half and hour in here and you already feel worn out mentally and physically. Maybe this is like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber? Well, it's like a dollar store version of it...

Without you even noticing, the top left square of the grid lights up, and a purple shine fills the room. Someone else is about to enter this place. Who is it? (You decide! Nothing that can't even fit in this room, or that would instantly destroy the universe. Those seem to be the only rules written here...)
Also, since we're here, just who are you? I know that you are a human, and that the current year on your planet is 2018, but I'd like to know what your profession was, at the very least.

[MonkeyMarkMario]

Name: Blare
Profession: Mad Scientist

[King Zultan]

The thing that appears is a Zebra.

Name: Harold Goldstein
Profession: Accountant

[Markrath]

The thing that appears is a Zebra.

Name: Harold Goldstein
Profession: Accountant

A hole in your head is mysteriously filled, as you finally remember who you are: Harold Goldstein, a twenty-six-year-old accountant from New York. But does that really even matter anymore? All you have left to hope is that this is just a silly dream...

Hold on a second, what the hell is that in the middle of the room? A shock of fear and adrenaline makes you spring up and, pushed against the wall, you examine the creature: it's some sort of... small striped elephant? It's facing you with what seems to be a hairy trunk, and it's scraping the ground with its hooves, whilst looking around rather uninterested, wiggling his hairy trunk around, seemingly unfazed by the sudden teleportation.

The moment in which you realise that it's just a zebra, and that its "hairy trunk" was just its tail is... well, embarrassing, to say the least. You clench your teeth in shame as you move closer to inspect the creature, hoping to find some useful information. As expected, it's a pretty unremarkable animal, except for the sly look on its face. It doesn't have any message carved on its skin as you had kind of wished. Maybe you'll have to look behind its "trunk" for some substantial material, but you hope it doesn't come to that.

(Man, have you always been this stupid? No way, something's wrong with your head. Any conjecture you formulate now won't exactly change reality, but it might affect your way of interpreting it.
As you're looking at the animal with your mouth wide open for no particular reason, the square to the right of the purple one begins radiating a green light... who is it?)

[King Zultan]

I'm not stupid I know all kinds of things.

The person that represented by the green light is the Michelin Man.