So if I understand everyone correctly for starting a fortress that does not die performance death I should:
Embark 1x1
Small+young world
Limit Caverns
No trees
Don't build stairs
pop below 50
no sieges
don't produce rotting clothes
destroy all excess items
don't mess with water
don't dig out much
no animals
Forgot anything? Maybe I try playing this game again maybe it can still be fun with the outside raids and such but those above measures drastically reduce the fun in a fortress.
Just my thoughts on this:
First. Learn to love traffic zones. Set your main hallways and stairs to 'high' traffic priority. It's my understanding that the game will attempt to path through 'high' priotries. You can also set medium (default) and low priorities as well as restricted. Dwarves will never path through restricted zones unless they need to, even if it takes them to the other side of the map.
I find 1x1 embarks rather fun, I enjoy forts that span z-levels. I can usually fit a fort for 80 dwarves on 5 levels, and have everything they need including temples and taverns.
I enjoy young world's, more nasty beasts to fight.
I never limit caverns and I don't usually have fps issues.
I embark on deserts or tundras usually, and I import all my wood. Easier than designating trees to be cut.
I think 60 dwarves is a good number. Gives me 20 military dwarves, nobles, and more workers than I know what to do with.
Rest is pretty accurate I suppose, but I enjoy sieges. Instead of atomsmashing (too much micro management) I like to set up a few minecarts that get filled with my junk using stockpiles and such, and I push them down into the magma sea