18th Limestone, 253
So I'm minding my own business, dwarfin' it up, normal Fortress mode stuff, getting several monster slayers hanging out patrolling the caverns, etc., when I see some combat logs pop up. I check them and notice that it's the Human Pikeman Lipi Newimomba fighting a Troll. "Cool", I think, "he'll stab this troll right in the guts." So I start watching this combat unfold and notice that the pikeman's weapon is named. "Oh, an artifact pike?" I think to myself as I scroll through the logs, watching the pikeman deftly dodging the troll's attacks. "Wait, why is he only bashing with the pike? Stab him!" I say to myself before checking "The Great Forest Retreat", the pikeman's weapon. This is when I discovered that he was not using a pike at all, but a
brimstone-bound codex.
This is a brimstone-bound codex.
The written portion consists of a 29 page guide entitled The Great Forest Retreat, authored by Amala Sensegrotto. It concerns the forest retreat Ravenroared. The writing is stunningly self-indulgent. Overall, the prose is amateurish at best.
Oh. By this point the troll had passed out and the pikeman was beating it over the head with the codex. "He'll pass out before killing it" I think to myself. I'm about to turn my attention to something else when I see that the troll was struck down. Well then, this could be interesting.
17th Timber, 253
Fast forward a bit, I see that I have more combat logs but ignore them a bit. Then I see this:
Masthos Ritanetur, militia commander cancels Store Item in Bin: Webbed.
Lipi Nesimomba, Human Pikeman has been found dead.
Oh boy, I've played enough DF to know what this means. Let me check the logs...
He got 3 hits in before being webbed, the Giant Cave Spider couldn't bite through his (large bronze helm), so it grabbed him by the head and shook him violently until his neck snapped. He's lucky he passed out halfway through.
R.I.P. Lipi Nesimomba, Human Pikeman, slain by Konliethlal the Giant Cave Spider.
Now I have a spider problem to deal with... maybe the guys that brought
real weapons can finish the job?