Entry #10
===Five days have passed since I left Rakedwood. Well, left MIGHT be the wrong word. I’m willing to admit I might have left screaming and running.
I continued on until I reached the Great Divide, the nearly impassable mountain range that surrounds Windy Plane. I want to say I was just taking a breather, practicing my skills, or perhaps hunting dinner.
But the damn fact of the matter is I’m afraid. Not just of Verima Dreamroar. I think I realized it when I was writing the previous entry. There’s a pattern to this madness that I couldn’t see before. I said before I was seeing bits of a pattern. Seeing the fall of Rakedwood, I think, started to put things in focus, and writing it down is helping me put it in order.
For me, the beginning was back in Deathgate. Officially, the breach of hell was labeled an accident. I was still in Fistmachines when it happened, so I can’t say for certain, but there were rumors to the contrary; that the fateful shaft through the adamantite was no accident. Over the next several years, a rot began to creep in until Operation Helldawn was announced.
Helldawn. I need to write about that, even though it makes my stomach churn. I wonder if it’s been set in motion yet. Not tonight. I can’t bring my quill to paper on it.
Tomorrow I head north. I want to be as far as way from civilization as I can for the time. I need to make a decision.
---
The badlands finally gave way to fields of ice. I’m starting to realize that I’m having insights about the world while I’m awake. I’m trying as best I can to ignore this. Nothing about this is right or natural, but I can use the information.
This wasteland was known as “The Constructive Winters”, named by the dwarves who originally braved the Great Divide would be my ancestors. The reason I’m here?
If dwarves could get in here, I can get out. If I’m to actually try and save anyone, we need an escape plan. To go somewhere as far away as possible, and find a way over the Great Divide.
I’m … who am I kidding. I want to escape.
There. I admitted it. To myself if anything. I can do that, even if I may never be able to look at my reflection again. I’m not a hero, I’m not a leader. I’m just a girl with a blue spear who has delusions of grander. I’m not Nist or Muthkat. To whomever may find this, I’m sorry, but if I’m going to survive Helldawn, I need to be as far away from Deathgate as possible.
… I did promise I’d write that. If nothing else, I can keep that promise. Let me talk about Deathgate for a moment. The first colony of Fistmachines in several generations, it was supposed to be an attempt to revitalize our society. For a time, it worked, and trade between Fistmachines and Deathgate was alive and booming, with reports of a growing population. Reports of adamantite caused many to migrate and for a brief moment, it looked like we might change our fortunes.
Right up until that fateful day that a miner accidently dug too deep. Accident or not, what followed was a slow descent of rot and decay. One day, our founder, Anima stood up and announced a great plan that would propel dwarvenkind back into legend and greatness. I thought madness had taken hold of my bredren. To encase ourselves in magma, and release the demons upon the world. What other word could there be? Insanity is one thing, but I watched people in the great hall cheering as Anima announced his plan.
There was nothing I could do to stop them, short of genocide. Contact had been lost with Fistmachines years prior, and no party sent ever returned. There was no one I could turn to for help. Even if I could bring myself to murder my kin (and assuming I was physically capable), I was simply delaying the inevitable. Without dwarves to man and repair the walls, our constructions would eventually crumble. By spear or by lava, the end was set in motion when the Basement of Murder decided to end it all.
Which has made me ask a new question.
Why was I the only who had a problem with this?I mean, there were approximately fifty dwarves when I left home. A few mad dwarves, I could accept. All of them?
Well, it points to two possibilities. Either I was spared from madness, or I in turn have gone mad for thinking it was wrong.
I’m not sure which one is the more terrifying possibility.
---
I had another dream among the ice. This one was different. I’ll recount it as best I can before.
I was back in Deathgate. I was alone, I didn’t see anyone when I wandered the hall. I had a mug of fisher berry wine, and for a moment, everything was alright. I knew that my friends were still alive, I had archery training in an hour, and a new artifact had been created.
That’s when I walked up to … myself.
The Other Id sat next to me.
“Mind if you join you?”“No, help yourself”
”Thanks. How are you tonight?”I was fine and said so. There was nothing wrong with the world. Everything was right.
”Are you sure, Id?”“There was nothing wrong with the world. Everything was right.”
”You’ve already seen past that. Look again ..”I glared at the other me, and looked for the others to try and disprove my doppleganger. Except I couldn’t. I suddenly realized the problem.
I was alone. In Deathgate. There was an unfamiliar sense of rot. In the most crowded part of the fortress. I was confused. Wasn’t everything right?
”The illusion is taking hold because you tried to run … oh, Id. Perhaps I pushed you too far too fast …“Illusion, what … what is this? Who are you?”
I can’t tell you. Not yet. Even though I want to. You’ve already done more than you realize. More than you comprehend. You did something that I truly thought was impossible. To be honest, I’m not sure I could even blame you if walked away now.I smacked my hands down on the table hard enough to shake it. “Stop speaking in riddles, damn it! You’re the one responsible for the visions, this … this whatever I’m doing!”
As I banged my hands down the table, the entire room shook. The other I gave me a wry grin,
”Riddles and myth is the one thing that has kept me alive Id. I will not apologize for it, but I will provide the answers you seek if you’re willing to reach for them.”The Other Id actually chuckled at my response to that.
”The decision is yours to make. If you actually want the truth, head south til you reach the Waters of Breath, and then west towards a swampland. Past that you’ll find the Field of Flesh, and Arrowstand itself.”The entire room shook violent, and a deep screaming sound came from below. The other me actually looked scared for a moment.
He knows I’m here. I much go. Remember what I said!And with a violent jolt, I returned to the land of the living.
End of Entry #9
--- OOC: Sorry for the delay. Holiday madness took root in my life, plus a revived NetHack addiction. I’m not sure I’m thrilled with how I’m writing this, but I need to bring closure to this for myself. I’ve removed the “Return to Deathgate” from the thread title, and hoping I can get a bit more interest. It’s very disheartening when there are no replies.
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Topic: The Story Of Id Matulcog (Updated 11/24/17) (Read 7364 times)