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[CDRW]

Hello everyone. I'm a perpetual noob who's decided it would be fun to try his hand at writing a DF story. I make no promises about quality, consistency, or completion. 

This post is world generation and set-up. I'll have the first actual gameplay post up sometime tomorrow.


World: The Momentous Land

Entry 1:

My name is Urdim Alakonul. I am a recent graduate of Lowstone School of Architecture and Engineering, and I am a genius.

Being a recent graduate, most dwarves don’t recognize the brilliance of my everything. They call me a fool, a weirdo, and a human-loving pervert. It matters not, because my time is at hand. The crown is offering commissions to intelligent dwarves willing to brave the unknown and settle new lands for the glory of The Blockade of Bravery. Why should I patiently climb the corporate ladder in the Mountainhomes when I can seize glory right here and now?

So what if some of my ideas derive from Human techniques? An intelligent mind must be flexible and recognize good practice, no matter where it comes from. I’ll show them. After I have my way, nobody will be able to deny the beauty and function of towers, flying buttresses, balconies, and all other manner of above-ground construction!

I have just the spot in mind too. Deep in the untamed wilds of the Hills of Sieging, there is a forest. It borders the Human lands, hostile Goblins roam free, and rumors of a necromancer who guards his secrets jealousy abound. What better place could there be to test my theories? That is where I will build my castle!

Entry 2:

I have my party. There is me, of course, two miners who claim to be quite good, a woodworker, a fisherman, a farmer, and an axedwarf. I’ll learn their names later. There’s no point in wasting energy on the hired help until I need.

Preperation was easy. The farmer was a bit upset that we’re not taking any seedstock with us, but he’s a lazy idiot. There’s no point when all the stores around here only sell things like plump helmets and pig tail. Those are underground crops, and I will have none of that nonsense. Farming, mining, soldiering, it’s all going to happen under the gaze of that burning eye in the sky. He’ll just have to find some native crops to plant. It can’t be that hard. Plus, with the money we saved, I was able to spring for some extra animals and a copper mail shirt!

Entry 3:

We leave in the morning. My time is at hand. Soon, I will begin construction on the greatest… construction ever seen by Dwarvenkind. Castle Glovegleeful will become a legend among the races.

[CDRW]

It's technically tomorrow.


Entry 4:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sweet Musar, this place is flat! I was hoping for a nice mountain peak or something to build my castle on, but this’ll have to do. It’s better than the canyons at least.

Those would have been perfect to cut a traditional fort into, but a castle? The slope would have just made it child’s play to hop over the walls, and building on a hillside like that would have been a pain in the ass, and ugly. If I can’t have a peak, flat is the best option.

Who knew trees could grow so close together though? There’s places where I wasn’t sure we could get the wagon through! At least the woodworker is going to get a chance to earn her pay. I need the area clear so I can get the miners started on a moat/quarry to designate the perimeter of Castle Gleeglove. I wonder if I should leave some inside the compound though, for aesthetics.

Those miners had better be as good as they claim. Wooden walls will have to do for now, but the sooner we get nice, solid stone between us and the goblins, the better. It’s just a matter of time before something nasty shows up, and nobody’s resting until we’re safe.


Entry 5:

I don’t like the looks of those river otters.



Entry 6:

Why am I surrounded by morons!? The woodworker and the fisherdwarf are both terminally lazy. Oh sure, they can do good work, but you have to breathe down their necks to make sure it’s done! They should just marry each other and get it over with! It’ll be the perfect lazy romance! They’ll make lazy love and spawn lazy carpet crawlers who refuse to grow up and get a job and leech off of them until they die!

And while I was babysitting them? Well, somehow Lokum and Urist (they’re the miners) got themselves knocked unconscious by undercutting the hillside that the northwest corner of the moat cut through and then trying to channel out the top! Urist said it was my fault! My fault for not specifying that they need to dig top-down instead of bottom-up! It’s a damn miracle I still have miners!


Entry 7:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Phase One is finished! We have a moat—well, large ditch really, you can still walk right through it—and a dormitory! With walls! And a door! And a roof! And beds! The farmer said it’s ugly as a were-tortoise’s asshole. Screw him. He’s lazy, and an asshole, and it’s the only bit of safety we have right now. Besides, it’s just a temporary shelter while I work on the final layout for Castle Glovegleeful.

Lokum and Urist need to deepen the moat down to bedrock first so that we can have some stone to work with. Hopefully they can do it without doing something terminally stupid, like digging into the river.

We also need to build a drawbridge, and indoor warehouses for the perishables. It might be a good idea to put my lazy asshole farmer to work at the job I hired him for, too.

[CDRW]

15th of Slate, 550:

It occurs to me that I should note the date in my logs, so that future generations will understand the full context of my actions.

Today is an auspicious day. In celebration of the completion of Phase One, I gathered everyone together and detailed exactly how Phase Two would progress.

First thing’s first, it’s time to lay a drawbridge. It is going to be another temporary wooden structure, but it will be the most amazing temporary wooden structure ever constructed in the Blockade of Bravery! It is going to be as long as the trees in this forest are tall!

Fear not, there is a reason for this extravagance. I need the drawbridge so I can have Lokum and Urist expand the moat to final width and start digging down. Soon, we will have stone, as well as a proper defensive ditch around the castle perimeter. Also, it gives me a chance to finally utilize my architecture degree. I paid a lot of money for that degree.

Part of Phase Two will be the construction of some farms in the Southwest corner, as well as a still, kitchen, butcher, tannery, and fishery. Most of those will be in temporary locations, but it is vital to get these industries up and running ASAP. Our stores won’t last forever.

I gave everyone their orders and then then told them they could have the rest of the day off to celebrate. Oh boy, did they celebrate. I’m… actually a bit surprised. They seemed almost as excited about the progress of Castle Glovegleeful as they were about having a holiday. Nobody’s ever been excited about  Even that lazy, asshole farmer. It turns out his name is Shorast Ekzongkilrud. He still thinks the dorms are ugly though.

His mom is ugly.


1st of Hematite, 550:

Summer is here, and food production is up and running! I gave Iden Sokanaban the job of constructing and running the necessary facilities. Technically, he’s supposed to be our security dwarf, but he’s the only one without a necessary labour so far. He seems solid.

The farms are turning out to be a project though. There’s dead patches littering the area where I want our fields, so I ordered a surrounding wall constructed and a bucket brigade to flood the area so we can start farming. I hope it doesn’t ruin the potato field we’ve already planted…

The drawbridge is built, but still waiting for a lever to activate it, and the first level of the moat is complete! It only took a season, but now we can start building proper defenses.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

12th of Malachite:

The land here is rich, as I predicted! Lokum and Urist have struck iron and several types of gems. I am starting to think they lied to me when they said this area was dangerous though. So far, the river otters are the most dangerous creature any of us have encountered. How am I supposed to prove my genius if there’s no goblins to slaughter with my architecture?


15th of Malachite:

Word of Castle Glovegleeful is already spreading! Three new dwarves arrived this morning. We now have a new farmer, fishery worker, and a doctor! Our current lazy asshole farmer says she could really use the help, and we are in dire need of a dedicated fishery worker right now. Iden just can’t keep up with gutting, cooking, and brewing all at once. The doctor is the one who really has me excited though. The sooner we get a hospital up and running, the better. That’s the kind of thing  you want working before you need it.

Yes, the doctor is a handsome, older gentleman. I wonder if he’s single…


16th of Malachite:

He’s not. And he thinks art is stupid.

[Urist McVoyager]

Good narrative so far. I was laughing my ass off a lot from reading it.

Posting to Watch.

[Immortal-D]

The classic trench + river   Looks like you're off to a good start.

[Urist McVoyager]

Better to keep the trench dry and go through the investment of trap-laying in the bottom of it.