My pitch for leadership!
A'right mates, here's why you should elect me, Mzbundifund, as the first leader of this here expedition.
First lemme say Flok's got a great idea here. Founding a new fortress is a great idea, and we're just the dwarves to do it, too. Strong, healthy, and skilled. But that's just the thing here. We're all skilled specialists. Flok's can do things with metal that I'd never dream of doing. But hand the boy a rock and he can't even make a grinchet-style crescent-toothed gear out of it. That's my specialty. So this idear of everyone doing every task is ludicrous. I've spent me whole life workin' with stone, and I don't fancy having to throw all that out the window because today he decides everybody's doing boot-shining for the good of the colony. Boot shining! What an idea! If you don't like a little blood permanently covering your shoes you're no dwarf, is what I say.
Where was I? Oh yes. Elect me running this fort and I'll have it running like a well-wound... what was it? That human thing their mechanics make that tells the time? A clerk? I'll have us running like a well-wound clerk is what I'll have. Scratch that. I'll have us running like an authentic good-old dwarven tendon-snapper razor trap, is what we'll run like. Human mechanics. Idiots. If it doesn't spring something heavy or sharp at you it's a waste of mechanisms, I say. The only time you should need to know what time it is is grog-time.
Speaking of grog-time, there'll be a lot of it. Water's for desperate beards and elves. Because I can manage things like that. I'm good at details and careful stuff. Flok's got a good beard on his chin but I think his plan just needs a bit more work. I wrote it out so you can see for yerself.
ME PLAN
- Big stockpile of food and alcohol.
- Individual rooms for everybody, and a mighty fine dining hall. Bedrooms on one side of the central staircase, workshops on the other, so I won't wake up anybody if I feel like doing some late-night tinkerin'.
- We stick to our strengths. Nobody goes around getting dabblin' in every skill under the sun. We make high-quality goods, not piles of trash.
- Traps and defensive constructions. It's no fortress if it's not fortified. We can probably leave military for the immigrants, though.
About me:
- I love stone, and I'm good with it. I'm proficient at making practical stuff like furniture and mechanisms. I don't go in for arts n' crafts, though. I leave that to the artistic types.
- I got a sister back home, but she's married. It wouldn't be much of a life for her out her anyway, she's an artistic type. Still, I like to send her letters, so we'll be establishin' good relations with the trade caravans.
- I'm not much for animals. They're all right I guess, and meat's always a treat, but they do stink up the place. Not that I don't like a good zoo every now and again.
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