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[sluissa]

Stupid arguments and incompatibilities are what make it magical!

But seriously,the key is to ensure that:
1. You know what part of your personality pisses people off, and
2. You know what part of your partner's personality does the same

Make sure you match up on this, and you can double down on ridding yourself of people or things you don't want around you. Case in point, my wife and I are both seriously not into pets. In my opinion, the only good type of animal inside your house is the one you serve on a plate.

The problem is that people change and minor compromises made early on can snowball and make one or both parties miserable in the long term. The person you're happy to spend all your time with when you get married may not be the same person 10 years down the road.

Some marriages do work out. Not denying that. But it's basically luck if they do.

[Jimmy]

That being said, the benefits of marriage certainly weigh up. Combined income, for example, is a powerful method of increasing your wealth. There's plenty of tax breaks for being married too, and it streamlines a lot of paperwork if you can produce a marriage certificate.

[sluissa]

That being said, the benefits of marriage certainly weigh up. Combined income, for example, is a powerful method of increasing your wealth. There's plenty of tax breaks for being married too, and it streamlines a lot of paperwork if you can produce a marriage certificate.

Definitely. Economic or immigration status issues would likely be the only thing to get me married. But it'd come with a hell of a prenuptual agreement. I don't even have that great of finances. I just want the ability to walk away if it gets bad.

[birdy51]

Hrmm. One day I hope to be married. But, whoever it is, I hope it's someone who I can argue with. Someone who will challenge the way I think and I to her. I think there is a tendency to seek out the perfect person who is everything, but that can place extreme burdens on both you and your partner. Perfection isn't necessary. Loving each other in spite of it is.

Cutting the fortune cookie crap, it is interesting that couples who often have occasional spats can often end up better than the couples that don't. There is a virtue there, to bend to and from another without breaking one another either. Whatever relationship I end up engaging in, I hope it's a bit like that.

[x2yzh9]

Hrmm. One day I hope to be married. But, whoever it is, I hope it's someone who I can argue with. Someone who will challenge the way I think and I to her. I think there is a tendency to seek out the perfect person who is everything, but that can place extreme burdens on both you and your partner. Perfection isn't necessary. Loving each other in spite of it is.

Cutting the fortune cookie crap, it is interesting that couples who often have occasional spats can often end up better than the couples that don't. There is a virtue there, to bend to and from another without breaking one another either. Whatever relationship I end up engaging in, I hope it's a bit like that.

Yea this is pretty much a true thing, I have to say myself I hate arguments but hopefully one day(if I do get married, which I likely won't because I would rather have a 'go dutch' type of relationship;basically one person pays one restaurant trip, the other partner pays for the next.) I'll be able to find a person who I can get into an argument with without, like birdy51 said, it turning into an all out emotional or physical brawl.

[scriver]

As I've already mentioned twice in the other thread, single parent households are very bad predictors of childp outcomes.  My parents divorced but fortunately I was already seventeen when they started living separately.

Divorce doesn't automatically mean single parenthood.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, a friend of mine is still on good terms with his ex-wife. He even has her and her new husband over for a weekly game night.

I definitely agree with finding someone who will push and challenge you to be better. I know I wouldn't have come nearly so far in my life without my wife's encouragement, support and occasional kick up the backside. I know I've done the same for her too. Finding someone you want to work hard to support will mean you end up achieving more with your time than if you spend it purely for your own pleasure.

[i2amroy]

That being said, the benefits of marriage certainly weigh up. Combined income, for example, is a powerful method of increasing your wealth. There's plenty of tax breaks for being married too, and it streamlines a lot of paperwork if you can produce a marriage certificate.

Course the power of combined income comes with the chance of all sorts of added penalties and costs if you end up breaking it off later on.

[Jimmy]

Which is why you don't make the decision about who to marry lightly! Just like any contract or commitment, there's a level of risk and a commensurate reward for taking that risk. The risk is that you'll find you married someone you intensely dislike. The reward is that, should you choose wisely, you'll have someone that will always be available for you to rely on, that can work beside you to make a better life, that will be your best friend whether you're in good times or bad.

So yeah, don't pick a crazy one who's unreliable, or one that doesn't want to work, or someone that you can't see yourself being friends with for a long time. I know I would never consider marrying someone that's bad with money, for example. That's usually the biggest fighting point in a marriage, aside from infidelity.