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[Ardent Debater]

The small, antiquated wood-stove bordering the scalding iron door might lessen the bacon deficiency, if there was a reasonable supply of pork to utilize, of course.

[Harry Baldman]

Unfortunately the pork machine in the kitchen has been broken for weeks and nobody has any parts to fix it.

[Atian the Elephantman God]

On the opposite wall of the pork machine there is a white door leading to a bathroom.

[crazyabe]

The bathroom currently contains the Undiscovered remains of the owner's wife.

[Fniff]

She is sat on the toilet, a toilet brush stuck down her throat.

[Ardent Debater]

Apart from that grisly scene, the Bathroom is quite pristine and obviously well maintained. It can be concluded that the Owner does his waste-related business elsewhere.

[crazyabe]

The Bathroom door is Locked from the Inside and does not come with a Key hole on the Outside.

[Ardent Debater]

Bordering the Bathroom door is the entrance to a rather spacious Closet, that the Owner deigned to fill with the most fashionable 1920s Era Clothing. A scent reminiscent of Pumpkin and Clover wafts from the Closet's beige and otherwise unremarkable carpeting.

[Fniff]

The closet has a peephole into the neighboring building; a public toilet.

[Harry Baldman]

It has evidently been frequented by somebody with a bad case of graphomania.

[Atian the Elephantman God]

Poop was spattered all around the peephole.