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[spazyak]

I would like to keep my character, sniper and trophy kill pls.

[MidnightJaguar]

Load Mainpiston (Full ver.) Cartridge  into MidnightJaguar gaming system. Observe loading bar.

You load the Mainrpiston (Full ver.) Cartridge into the MidnightJaguar gaming system, with an infernal groan the ancient display flickers to life and the beasts that are chained around it snap to attention, and the daemon infused iron ringing the cartridge slot begins to scream.You hear a ominous groan and the main display changes to a loading bar with 25% of it filled. The progress bar also randomly cuts to images of the company logo

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

engaging in various antics such as eating the souls of mortals, killing other gods, and generally acting like an Aztec god. These scenes are also further cut up with random snippets of what appears to be gameplay footage with the animated logo as the character, infusing daemons into metal and then being vibrated apart by said daemon, taming beasts through the power of brain surgery and then being ripped apart by said beasts, preforming medicine and then blowing themselves up through failed alchemy, and finally firing lots of guns with varying degrees of accuracy.
You stare in increasing bewilderment at the bizarre actions"Well, this is all a bit much for a glorified loading screen" you think.

[spazyak]

Sure it wasn't just some intro cutscreen?

[Egan_BW]

"Cutscene, loading screen... what's the difference if I can't skip it?"
Hit every button on the controller in the hopes one of them skips the loading. Remember to try capslock.

[spazyak]

Did you try alt f4? Better yet launch cinco 2.0 identity generator
Launch cinco 2.0, run flungunstow with oyster

[syvarris]

((Is this okay?  I know Groo was supposed to die, but the hilarity of this is just too much to pass up.))

Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Groo
Description: Nobody is quite sure what this is.  Top scientists have suggested that it's some sort of humanoid, possibly a crossbreed of some kind, but DNA samples have been extremely difficult to get a hold of--indeed, The Groo has violently eliminated anyone who has tried to touch it.  Disposal has been attempted using both high powered weaponry and high explosives, but The Groo has consistently survived all attempts on its life through a combination of power and sheer dumb luck.  Mostly the latter.

Eventually, some enterprising merchants, desiring to be rid of Groo's often disastrous antics, managed to trick a group of pirates into thinking that it was a skilled pilot.  This led to Groo crashing their bomber into another pirate group's bomber, forcing the entire crew to bail out over the beast-infested wilderness.  Only two individuals survived long enough to be rescued, neither of them Groo, but to their great horror an all-too familiar face happily greeted them once they arrived back at the city.

Neither knows how it is possible Groo survived the wilderness alone, let alone how it arrived back home before them.  However, it is quite obviously the same Groo, as evidenced by the large chunk missing from the back of its head, where a certain "ally" shot it.  Despite the gaping wound, Groo's eternal smile has not dimmed, though it does seem to have become much slower and less observant.

Stats
Strength:+0
Intelligence:-2
Dexterity:-1
Resilience:+3
Perception:-1
Charisma:-2

Skills
Piloting:-2
Marksmanship:+4
Daemonism:-2
Doctor:-2
Beast mastery:-2
Engineering:-2

Inventory:
Bloody military clothes
A bloodier knife

((How much money are we starting with for the main game?  And are you gonna make a second thread?))

[MidnightJaguar]

((Is this okay?  I know Groo was supposed to die, but the hilarity of this is just too much to pass up.))

Spoiler: Char Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Groo
Description: Nobody is quite sure what this is.  Top scientists have suggested that it's some sort of humanoid, possibly a crossbreed of some kind, but DNA samples have been extremely difficult to get a hold of--indeed, The Groo has violently eliminated anyone who has tried to touch it.  Disposal has been attempted using both high powered weaponry and high explosives, but The Groo has consistently survived all attempts on its life through a combination of power and sheer dumb luck.  Mostly the latter.

Eventually, some enterprising merchants, desiring to be rid of Groo's often disastrous antics, managed to trick a group of pirates into thinking that it was a skilled pilot.  This led to Groo crashing their bomber into another pirate group's bomber, forcing the entire crew to bail out over the beast-infested wilderness.  Only two individuals survived long enough to be rescued, neither of them Groo, but to their great horror an all-too familiar face happily greeted them once they arrived back at the city.

Neither knows how it is possible Groo survived the wilderness alone, let alone how it arrived back home before them.  However, it is quite obviously the same Groo, as evidenced by the large chunk missing from the back of its head, where a certain "ally" shot it.  Despite the gaping wound, Groo's eternal smile has not dimmed, though it does seem to have become much slower and less observant.

Stats
Strength:+0
Intelligence:-2
Dexterity:-1
Resilience:+3
Perception:-1
Charisma:-2

Skills
Piloting:-2
Marksmanship:+4
Daemonism:-2
Doctor:-2
Beast mastery:-2
Engineering:-2

Inventory:
Bloody military clothes
A bloodier knife

((How much money are we starting with for the main game?  And are you gonna make a second thread?))

I like the character, I could totally see Groo not really caring that the back of his head exploded.

Yes we are starting a second thread I'm just using this thread to keep people entertained as I write the actual game.

As for money I'm still debating whether to just give you all pistols and zero money to begin with or to actually add some more weapons and kits to the armory to give you some form of progression if I end up feeling really creative and simultaneously good at balancing over the weekend then I will probably give you 5 gold coins to start off with. I am also open to suggestions for the armory, because like I probably alluded to before, I suck at balancing and figuring out niches that need filling.

[Egan_BW]

I'd like to see the current 4-token beast kit with the +1 str requirement made into a kind of stationery lab that you keep on the plane/at your base, which you could pack up and move if you really want, but can't really use without setting up first. Add a 2-token field beast kit with no str requirement, which will give you the tools to capture beasts and manage tamed ones (beast-specialised sedatives and treats made from human bones, in both cases ) but not do any of the complicated taming or modifyng processes.
Similar thing for medkits, first-aid kit and a stationery lab where you can do your complicated surgeries and alchemies. Possibly a more expensive kit where you can do alchemy in the field.

[MidnightJaguar]

With surprisingly little fanfare the progress bar suddenly jumps up to 75%

"That took a while" you think scratching your week old beard and tossing the remains of the controllers you broke out of boredom away from you . "I hope that the armory got taken care of somewhere in that 75%"

[Sosoku234]

My week old beard is two feet long by now.

[MidnightJaguar]

With a sudden cackling from the company logo and the sound of pages turning somewhere within the infernal mechanism, the progress bar suddenly begins to wiggle widely back and forth briefly dropping down to 1% shooting up to 99% at times before finally seemingly stabilizing at about 95%. The beasts chained to the mechanism begin to screech and holler with disturbingly human sounding screams about it almost being ready. Something probably your sentient beard tells you that you should probably take cover soon.

[spazyak]

Hold Soso infront of me as a human shield

[MidnightJaguar]

Hold Soso infront of me as a human shield

You hold up Soso as a human sheidl just in time to the loading bar reaches 100% and everything around you violently explodes sending you into the next thread in a pretty kickass explosion MAINPISTON.FULL.VER has loaded

[TheBiggerFish]

Hold Soso infront of me as a human shield

You hold up Soso as a human sheidl just in time to the loading bar reaches 100% and everything around you violently explodes sending you into the next thread in a pretty kickass explosion MAINPISTON.FULL.VER has loaded

Except for that pesky bug with the start button...