After looking things over, I am ready to declare the winner of this contest:
And never become a poet, they said. A
Stay away from Boreash, sin town. Ha! B
You say bandits will chop off my head, A
But I'm the best poet the world has seen. C
No doubt, of rhyme and verse I am queen. C
Stay in hamlet, sleeping on bedstraw? B
What a tragedy that could have been! C
Now I'm off, no apologies, nah. B
A fresh start, something else, a life clean. C
Ha ha. It is better to be dead, A
Then to be left here on this homestead. A
So many people, in island town. A
Before northern sea, a castle there. B
From the chimneys, strands of smoke bear down. A
Market stalls, rubies, homes stood tall. C
Masked balls and cat calls, I saw it all. C
Overcome with wonder, I said a prayer. B
In this town, I never felt so small. C
But I was not sad, not held down by despair. B
Excited, tempted, by that urban sprawl. C
Stones from castle fell to ocean and drown. A
Make a name here, in this market town. A
Smoky tavern hall, with spit-covered floor. A
Keeper says, eight for drink, ten for bed. B
A stage just there, enticing all the more. A
When I stood there, I never felt so tall. C
All these working joes and gangster's molls, C
Won't hear a better poem till dead. B
Poem, Crescent of Daggers, shall enthrall. C
I will recite while they eat rye bread. B
So I spoke, but came to a brick wall. C
The keeper sighed and called me a bore. A
All was lost, then you came by stage door. A
Look at you, best man I ever saw. A
A dancer's physique, that's what you were. B
Your hair brambly and wild, like a shaw. A
Even all the men had to admit, C
"My lord," "What pretty eyes," "You said it." C
Your wondrous distraction made me slur. B
And this was end, could I not commit? C
No, you danced to my verse in a blur. B
You, hips swaying and your eyes moonlit. C
You, dance because you must, with no flaw. A
You, silent beauty, unwritten law. A
Of course we had to speak, we had to! A
With free drinks, courtesy of keeper. B
I went, hoping none would misconstrue, A
My advances for that of romance. C
My words fell into slur, held in trance. C
No fairer man under the reaper. B
I proposed, I recite and you dance. C
You agreed, hair colored like sleepers. B
We had to form a troupe, take a chance. C
Leaving tavern, keeper said "Thank you," A
We should have stayed, if only we knew. A
A band of bandits set upon us. A
We couldn't flee, they knew no pity. B
They had their knives, no time to discuss. A
Your grace turned to wrath in a second. C
You took four down with you, I reckon. C
But more came out of that dark city. B
They were on you within seconds. C
I thought of fleeing, like some Rette. B
My legs were already in flection. C
But, I could not... For you are my truss. A
Without you, I am but superfluous. A
For what good is words, poetry, without you? A
A beauty older then me, then all. B
Because what am I? Who am I? Who? A
A failed poet, with a voice like curd. C
You must live. Wonder and life, God's watchword. C
I dived in, took the hit, in that brawl. B
The cowards fled, I saw through eyes blurred. C
You are here, tear-ridden, where I fall. B
You hush now, please smile, don't say one word. C
My darling light, I see you anew. A
My love; kiss me, before I pass through... A
Right off the bat, I have to give you points for making the poem that long. It looks like it took some time and dedication to pull that off. It tells a good story as well, and I especially enjoy how the ending was different than I expected - I thought the dancer would sacrifice himself to save the poet, not the other way around. The structure of the poem itself is also very well written. You follow the ABACCBCBCAA rhyming scheme without error, an admirable achievement to say the least. Lastly, your use of parallelism is a very nice addition to this already great poem. All in all, this poem is very well deserving of being the winner.
Here is your
reward.
Now the other poems, in the order of their submission:
Solemn towers pierce the clouds,
the ground, barren, grey, and dull.
Stirring within, man wakes.
Farming moss and vines, they survive.
By carving homes from stone, they live.
Gazing above, past the clouds, they wonder.
Generations pass, ideas develop and mature.
A web of railways connects the towers.
The ground still fruitless, man reached the heavens.
A frightening discovery, shaking their belief.
A new perspective reveals the truth.
Outside their small view lay a universe of nothingness.
Their great towers, fine hairs.
Their barren ground, skin.
Their own world, a god.
Though I have a gripe with poems that don't rhyme, I can put that aside for that great ending. The poem is easy to read though-out, but it's the ending that makes it awesome.
Haikus are worn out
Originality dead
Refrigerator.
So often they are
A buildup to the tired end
Refrigerator.
The haiku is pretty funny, but there's not much going for it other than that.
A fallen knight errant of an era long past
Lost to darkness, lashing out at the light
He questions why each day isn't his last
His heart is hollow, where it once burned bright.
Condescending, pitying, and laughing at me
They hate me, none of them mean well
You hated me when I tried to do good, now you'll see
Watch me burn the land, and raise hell.
Nobody is innocent, I know everyone's intention
I'll have given you a reason to hate me
The horror in me that you used to mention
The wrath that you wanted, you'll see.
In the hate, one stood up to say
"Now we truly despise you."
With those words, the cracked mask gave way
There's something else that they knew.
My anger sought new horizons to raze
Seeds of turmoil and despair to sow
Pushed back, a fire of unity would blaze
And I could only ask how.
I sought answers from lessons I let pass by me
A drive from an era long past ran me through
A villain to oppose to bring unity
This mask is now me, but true.
Others stood up again. Many, many more.
One approached, I had prepared to strike.
I haven't felt this hesitation before.
There's a quality in this one I like.
"I forgive you", she said, ignoring my hate.
You can't forgive for the others who saw me before.
"You're right." She left, and told me to wait.
And back she came with someone else. Someone, more than myself, I cared for.
The first to speak against me when it began.
I wept, and asked for forgiveness and mercy.
Acceptance, and a path to redemption at hand.
My broken ideal gave way to a truth I still see.
The mask in black was shattered to dust.
The ideal I saw gave me another way.
Redemption I seek, and for unity I lust.
I look up, and see the dawn of this day.
I'll have to give you points for length here. This truly is quite a long poem, and that deserves attention. The story within the poem is simple and coherent, and the ABAB rhyming scheme makes the poem's rhymes easy to follow. Very nice poem.
It's truly endless, isn't it?
What's endless, you say?
This day.
Or rather, perhaps, this night.
No, no, that can't be right.
Let us go find what we seek, to be precise, insight.
So let us understand...
This I demand...
Within the shifting sand...
And the unchanging brand...
What is endless? What is endless?
I have no idea, I hasten to confess.
What a confusion! What a mess!
There must be an answer in this ragged dress!
NO. NO NO NOPE. That's not it at all.
I'm breaking up. I'm tiring. I'm becoming irrational. But I still don't know.
Perhaps there's an answer in a saying, you reap what you sow?
Or perhaps there's an answer in work, to the shores I row...
No. No, I think not. I have failed. I am mocked by my foe.
But wait! There's more!
I've arrived at a brand new shore!
Oh. That's the answer, isn't it? I see!
Me!
And you! And we!
Only endless is endless. Or is it? Maybe... Yes, I'll explain... so see:
-nevermind. Why should I bother?
I'm done. I'm dead. There's nothing left.
Maybe you'll seek what's endless also. So one last hint: no. Figure it out for yourself.
First of all, the Augmented Monometric (stanza length increases; each stanza has self-contained rhyme) was cool, though somewhat loose. However, the deviation/sloppiness (increasing towards the end) illustrated the strain of the narrator trying to truly find the "endlessness" that they believed they understood at the beginning. Secondly, the very content of the poem was great, and it did well in communicating the journey of the narrator from false belief to hopeless searching and finally to true discovery. Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but nevertheless, this is an amazing poem.
We know that we think we know
And often think we know we know
But sight's a liability
In the pressure of the afterglow
The problem here
Is creeping fear
Of goblin-dark
And laughter near
Of deepset mans in distant lands
And bushes burning in the sands,
Teeth to feed the biting hand
And busy life of pointless stands
Now faces stark
Forfend the dark
As whisp'ring worms
Speed off their mark
A silent song of doubt and wrong
A twisting and a stretching long
That whirls and skirls in gnarls and burls,
Consuming self as self unfurls
So Ego rich
Is put to stitch
To mend the rents
Of conscience-glitch
But down in dreams, beneath the gleams
The splitting and the grinding beams
Throw blooms of sparks that light the dark
And shriek the false through crack and seam
The problem here
Is basis clear
And how to seek
Without a seer
Yet how to calve that viscous floe,
To shape and etch the undertow,
Calls face and frame be more than name,
A cage for what we think we know
I find this poem very hard to read, and I really can't make sense of what it's trying to say. Nevertheless, it's not completely nonsensical, and although it's rhyming scheme changes constantly, the 4-line stanza format is kept throughout the poem. The length is also a nice thing about the poem, however the poem lacks the connection between stanzas that would have made the length mean more. The contest is over now, but would you mind explaining the poem to me?
Deadly was the air
Poison in it’s every fume.
Just a feeling it was near
She ran her hands through the loom.
She cut the strands of agony and loyalty
We knew not of doom.
Could not escape our destiny
None were honored with a tomb.
Leap over their predators
Waltz with the soul.
You gave life to this bonfire
With your spirit’s coal.
As you stepped with the river, you danced through the flames.
Oblivious you were not, but as a shield you fought.
We could only watch in wonder of your such noble aim.
And as the leaves fell, your name was thus engraved.
We knew not of cruelty
Not before this tragedy.
With harmony almost complete
The demons hid so far beneath.
It was fated, so many casualties.
Become the chosen, as they close in.
Watch from your towers, when we smell the flowers.
No regrets, no man put to misuse.
Together we will light the sky for you.
To tell you the truth, I have no idea what he poem is about. I imagine there is some meaning, however, but I can't find it. The rhyming isn't anything special - ABAB with a lot of deviation. The use of a one-line stanza is interesting, but I don't understand the meaning behind the poem, so it's purpose probably wasted on me. I'm still interested about the meaning of the poem, however. Could you explain it to me?
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Topic: Poetry Contest: Winner has been Chosen! (Read 2225 times)