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[Sheb]

So yeah, that girl friend of mine has an history of depression. Since she moved to university, she has been having trouble with her flatmates, which she describes as perpetually harassing her. Anyway, she's sliding back into depression (She just had a medical certificate to spend a week at her home and try to recover).

Now, I don't have any experience of depression or of dealing with depressed people. I guess what I'm asking is what is the most helpful thing I could do?

[NullForceOmega]

Generally just being there as a sounding board is good advice (tho' it can be straining), there isn't a huge amount that you can directly contribute, but just being present (even if it's long distance by phone or e-mail) can be very helpful.

[Djohaal]

First some questions, how old is she and is she using any drugs to treat the depression?

Second, on a supportive role you should try to be available to listen to her. Nullforce has a point, being present is very important. Another thing is approaching her and try to come up with some activity you can help and motivate her to participate, while at the same time not pushing her into it if she's feeling too bad. If she had previous suicide attempts or ideation, approaching the subject is worthwhile (talking about it won't make it more likely someone will attempt) of course so long she directly told you about it, if you know about it indirectly trough family or other friends, touching such a taboo subject might be a bad idea.

[Neonivek]

Yeah it is hopeless at this point (as incredibly harsh as it is to say)

She is in a "Poisoned home environment" with people who "do not care" with someone who is "Emotionally compromised"

It is better to just treat her like she is going to be depressed flat out then ever hope to prevent or combat it.

As for some advice
A) Do not blame her for anything
B) Do not give her advice that hints at blame. I'd even go as far as to say not to give advice if she doesn't ask of it.

One thing she will do is she will state that she is a big burden on you and will see your emotional neutral state as disdain.

To help you understand. People who are depressed are as if they are looking for a justification to be depressed (it isn't true but still). You might need to "make" her do things for herself once in a while, but I think to know the difference you might need to have experience.

[strawberry-wine]

See if she's receptive to the idea of getting therapy, and encourage her if she is. If she's at University, there's most likely free services she can take advantage of.

[That Wolf]

You never slide out of depression.
I find distractions and support to be best treatment. Yes it will seem like she keeps slipping in and out but shes always depressed and its actually the distractions that have slipped.
Unsupportive uncaring people are impossible to avoid.
Exercise is a good distraction and boosts confidence, eating well also seems like a small thing but its not and sleeping well is important. These things are needs and shouldnt be avoided.
The main thing you can do is build up a good supportive relationship and a group of friends.
If she gets suicidal you need to get pro help but if its just deppression she will be fine.

It could also be bipolar but you havnt given much to read into.

TL;DR love her

[Sheb]

Well, I had a drink the other day, she seems a bit better. She left that flat with the abusive roommates and moved in a new one. Still working on the distraction things, I'm trying to organize at least a thing a week, can't really do much more with my schedule.

[dennislp3]

That alone should be immensely helpful especially if the activity is one that requires moving around (walking etc) and plenty of social interaction.

Depression is a nasty thing...withdrawal (social withdrawal or literally not leaving your house etc) is one of the most common symptoms and also the most important one to combat because it leads to deeper depression rather quickly. It is also unfortunately one of the most appealing actions when you are depressed...the general mood, usual guilt, and lack of energy don't exactly make you want to interact with people

[xpi0t0s]

Try to understand what depression is.  Listen to her, ask her to explain.  Don't go in with any preconceptions; those of us who do not suffer from it tend to think depressed people are just a bit fed up - that's not even close.  This talk seems pretty good:
https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share?language=en#t-10986

[Sheb]

Welp. I thought she was climbing back, but now she slid back hard. We had a nice evening or two (including that really nice Dvorak concert), she was back home... I know you don't get "cured" but I though she was on the upswing. Then, a few days ago, she stopped responding to my calls and messages. At least she still got online on FB from time to time (I have in the meantime learned she did at least on suicide attempt).

I was a bit at loss of what to do. I know she can find people bothersome and tiring, but that leaving her alone ain't exactly the best solution either. Now, she finally answered my last offer to meet up and do something by "I'm going to the hospital on that day, we'll meet when I'm out ".

I do not know if she was hospitalized before, but I hope it'll help.

[Trapezohedron]

I'm not sure if Bill Zeller's letter might be able to help, what with partially being able to assume the mental processes of those depressed for particular reasons they might never tell others.

Otherwise, you might want to rule it out as irrelevant, since it's mostly about sexual molestation affecting his life throughout, and I'm not sure how that can link to your current situation, except that I am hoping you might be able to determine the proper course of action as to how you might be able to help your friend.

http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller

[Neonivek]

The thing about Upswings is that they very much can be downswings in disguise or even worse a good mood can exhaust you into a bad one. (Isn't depression wonderful!?!)

But moving between being happy and depressed is normal.

[dennislp3]

Welp. I thought she was climbing back, but now she slid back hard. We had a nice evening or two (including that really nice Dvorak concert), she was back home... I know you don't get "cured" but I though she was on the upswing. Then, a few days ago, she stopped responding to my calls and messages. At least she still got online on FB from time to time (I have in the meantime learned she did at least on suicide attempt).

I was a bit at loss of what to do. I know she can find people bothersome and tiring, but that leaving her alone ain't exactly the best solution either. Now, she finally answered my last offer to meet up and do something by "I'm going to the hospital on that day, we'll meet when I'm out ".

I do not know if she was hospitalized before, but I hope it'll help.

From personal experience...hospitalization will not make it "better"...that being said it is a positive sign that she is seeking help.

As Neonivek points out upswings are not always necessarily a good thing...often being a roller coaster of emotions more than anything unless its steady and caused or influenced by an actual change...random mood changes rarely indicate a positive (or negative) mood trend.

You are also right in the thought that leaving her alone is a bad idea...depression makes you want to isolate but is also plagued with bouts of loneliness that increases the intensity of depression.

Finally on the mention of suicide attempts...Those are often spur of the moment ideas...rarely are they part of some long term (or even week long) plan and more often they are inspired by a very acute and nasty bout of negativity...often times caused by loneliness and being left alone with the persons own thoughts.

[Sheb]

Well, she messages me yesterday. She was coming to town to bring a few books back to the library and offered to meet up, we had a walk and a chat. Again she seemed fine, I'm not sure if it's selection bias (she'll only offer to meet up at those time when she feels better) or that I'm just terrible at judging how people feels.

At least she confirmed that the hospitalization was her idea, so that's a good sign at least. The hospital is some kind of specialized depression clinic for young adult, I hope they might help. I'll probably go and visit this week-end, I'll tell you guys.

Speaking of which, I just wanted to thank y'all. Some of the things you shared really are helping me getting an understanding of what it could be like in her head. Thanks.