((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door
Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))
Diana gets on the phone to Stan mumbling loudly enough for Derek to hear "Do I have to do everything for you useless bastards..."
"Stan! Stan the Man! With the Master Plan! Look, I'm going to need you to get on with these evacuation protocols, m'kay? The techs are freaked over something, had that little worry-wart Greg on the blower whining down the phone at me. I'll make sure that he's the one that takes the blame should it turn out he's making a mountain out of a molehill alright? He's just a stupid little man that likes to play with computers and numbers anyway, amirite?"
If that fails:
"Okay, okay, I see what you're saying Stan, but Greg was insistent. Lets just say it's a drill? Maybe that'll stop the young whippersnapper from whining."
Once done with him, put him on a list for some of the final "forced volunteers" for product testing, making sure he's testing something with unpleasant side effects. Let the higher-ups know we need a new security guard, Stan is going senile. Blame Stan for any unpleasant consequences from the evactuation, Greg for the containment breach. Whiney little ass he is.
Get the PA to get me a blanket and a wheelchair because I want to test them out for the aunt who gave me the executive toy.