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Author Topic: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)  (Read 4413 times)

SaberToothTiger

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #45 on: November 09, 2015, 09:38:50 am »

Oh, okay.

Enter my office and use my intercom to spread the following message of joy to all people in the ungodly waiting room. Call one person in.

Message of Joy:
"*Grumble, grumble* company appreciates *Grumble, grumble* you're valuable *Grumble, grumble* please wait. For fuck's sake.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2015, 09:40:50 am by SaberToothTiger »
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

hector13

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #46 on: November 09, 2015, 12:48:14 pm »

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door :P

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

Diana gets on the phone to Stan mumbling loudly enough for Derek to hear "Do I have to do everything for you useless bastards..."

"Stan! Stan the Man! With the Master Plan! Look, I'm going to need you to get on with these evacuation protocols, m'kay? The techs are freaked over something, had that little worry-wart Greg on the blower whining down the phone at me. I'll make sure that he's the one that takes the blame should it turn out he's making a mountain out of a molehill alright? He's just a stupid little man that likes to play with computers and numbers anyway, amirite?"

If that fails:

"Okay, okay, I see what you're saying Stan, but Greg was insistent. Lets just say it's a drill? Maybe that'll stop the young whippersnapper from whining."

Once done with him, put him on a list for some of the final "forced volunteers" for product testing, making sure he's testing something with unpleasant side effects. Let the higher-ups know we need a new security guard, Stan is going senile. Blame Stan for any unpleasant consequences from the evactuation, Greg for the containment breach. Whiney little ass he is.

Get the PA to get me a blanket and a wheelchair because I want to test them out for the aunt who gave me the executive toy.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2015, 01:00:15 pm by hector13 »
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

crazyabe

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #47 on: November 09, 2015, 12:54:55 pm »

PTW
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Chromatic Wasp

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #48 on: November 09, 2015, 01:57:14 pm »

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door :P

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.
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Come on up to the stage! Are you trembling with fear and excitement?

Ghazkull

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #49 on: November 09, 2015, 02:19:37 pm »

"What. The. Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck this company so, so much."

First: Call IT ask them if they can momentarily shut down Lockdown and then reactivate it. IF yes contact the deathtroopers on the other side and warn them that i am coming and not more things to shoot. If they doubt me tell them about Jenna.

Second: if none of this works and im still stuck on the deadly side, start cleaning and make the floor extra wet, i have galoshes which should prevent sliding around but a horde of suicidal Bruce Lees certainly will fall to the terrible effects of wet floors.
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Nunzillor

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #50 on: November 11, 2015, 02:15:28 am »

In a few hours I won't even remember this.  The joys of repression!  Hmm, maybe we can use this technique to recycle our testers?

Climb up the wall.  Try and turn off most of my consciousness while doing so.
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hector13

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #51 on: November 11, 2015, 10:02:05 pm »

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door :P

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.

"Where you born in a barn? Close the door too, idiot!"
Logged
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

crazyabe

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  • I didn't start the fire...Just added the gasoline!
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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #52 on: November 11, 2015, 10:25:53 pm »

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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Chromatic Wasp

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #53 on: November 11, 2015, 11:08:14 pm »

((He'll be my PA. That way I don't have to think of a clever way to close the bloody door :P

Edit: Or whatever because I don't read through everything properly apparently))

((If it works for you, it works for me!))

"Yes, ma'am. Right away."

Despite thinking it slightly odd that Diana suddenly wants a wheelchair, even though she seemingly came into work completely fine this morning, Tom does what any good little assistant would do: follow orders.

"Where you born in a barn? Close the door too, idiot!"

"Ah- yes, ma'am! Sorry!" He shuts the door in a frantic rush, then goes to look for the wheelchair and blanket.
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Come on up to the stage! Are you trembling with fear and excitement?

Person

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Re: Grotesquerie (Office Roleplay)
« Reply #54 on: November 12, 2015, 02:21:48 am »

I'll just wait list for now if you're still taking sheets for people who aren't interns.

Spoiler: Application (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: November 12, 2015, 02:37:23 am by Person »
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