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[Aeriform]

Let me first state that I'm relatively new here, finding out about the game last year, and don't really do much on the forums or any really any forum but I saw this section and read a few posts and thought that I need some help too. So I want to go and see and do interesting things and meet interesting people, however I sometimes have a tough time doing anything especially if it involves other people.  I tell myself that it has to get done yet I just get distracted or I just simply think I can't.  I've never had a job, I don't have any friends and I'm living with my parents.  To make things worse I have an aversion to driving that I can get over at least on empty roads, but my parents seem to avoid teaching to drive so that I can't even try.  The only people I have contact with are my parents who are probably good people in their own right but they just irritate me even when I try to give them a chance.  I have always been the outsider, going to school in a small town everyone was more or less friendly to each other however when I graduated my social life vanished because the only time I talked to anybody was during school, now if someone talks to me I get nervous and a little bit scared. The prospect of typing this itself made me pace around the room several times before I even started.  This isn't who I want to be, I wanted to be an always calm person never getting stressed out by anything.  In my senior year of high school I came pretty close only really worrying about how to get myself to talk to people but now I can hardly push a button without worrying that someone is going to yell at me for doing it wrong or even if i felt that i could do it that I would just not finish the task and get distracted with something else less important like video games.

The point is, I need some confidence in myself as well as someway to not give up on a task that takes more then a few hours to do. Some friends or someone to talk to would also be nice

Sorry if anything is unclear or scattered that's just how my brain works.

[LordBucket]

Sometimes people want help. Sometimes people want to talk, vent and let out the things that are bothering them...and just have someone listen. I've found that it is generally unhelpful to try to impose advice on people who just want to talk and let out the thing that are bothering them.

Your post contains no questions. Your post contains only statements. You're new here, I accept that. You've never had a job, and have no friends. I accept that. You want to be a calm person who doesn't get stressed by anything, but even writing this post inspired feelings of anxiety. I accept all this. I'm ok with it. I'm not thinking poorly of you. Many people, even on this board are very much like you. It's ok.

How may I help you? Is there something you want to know, or advice that you want, or questions we can answer....or do you just want to share how you feel and know that someone is listening?

[KingBacon]

Some questions for context, don't feel obliged to answer them. Most people go through periods of isolation as young adults (I graduated college and got laid off from my job, then had to move back home. Now I am on the other end of the country back in school.)

So did you graduate high school last year?
Did you have a track or plans post graduation?
What are the stressors in your or your parents lives?
What do you want to improve?

[Aeriform]

Thanks LordBucket I think that's actually what I really wanted. KingBacon, I graduated two years ago, my keep changing which is fine and right now I'm trying to get into programming but I'm a little worried about not following through like I usually do.  I'm not quite sure about my parents stress but my stress comes from mostly not doing anything with myself because I have a tough time motivating myself.  I want to improve my confidence and my work ethic. Thanks guys. 

[Jafferey]

This guys videos really helped me out: https://www.youtube.com/user/ActualizedOrg

[KingBacon]

The challenge is not changing who you are but your habits. We are constructs of our actions. Do you have any particular habits you wish to change? I used to be a lethargic PC gamer who never really socialized, but I changed things slowly (except a crash diet exercise thing I did sophomore year of college.) I also have terrible impulse control at times and have focused on removing the impetus to the problematic situation rather than avoiding the impulse.

There are two ways to change oneself, the cold turkey crash course way (which usually fails) or the gradual habit forming way. I will advocate the latter even though I've done my fair share of the former.

Examples:
I will binge eat junk food no matter what, so I only stock healthy foods in my house. Remove the temptation so you don't waste your self control and concentration on silly things.

If video games are a problem try uninstalling them, packaging up the disks/console and putting them on a high shelf. Making distractions a bit harder to access makes controlling impulses easier.

Pick simple goals, like taking the dog on daily walks the same time every day, will help you build focus and teach you how to schedule your time. Running is also a good habit to get into, just be sure to pick a regular time and stick to it.

You might also wish to pick up cooking meals for your family as that's a good skill to develop.

Focus on building habits. Like waking up early the same time every day, making the bed every morning, putting laundry away, etc

[Vector]

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