Putting these up top also so they are more obvious:
Trans Lifeline
US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
A word of warning. I have heard that sometimes these suicide prevention hotlines, (not afaik the trans lifeline, which is staffed by trans people who know what it is like, but the regular one,) will have people that will gaslight or trivialize the problems of those they are speaking to. This horrifies me. If you get someone like that, hang up and use another number. Keep reaching out.
---
Hey guys. So you all know about Leelah Alcorn, and if you haven't read her note, here is a cached version of her page and some things she wrote in a desperate attempt to find help before tragically committing suicide.
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache%3AwRUrwopomooJ%3Alazerprincess.tumblr.com%2F+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=auhttps://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/2km6yt/is_this_considered_abuse/and here is a statement by the neighbors of Leelah who witnessed some of the abuse
https://www.facebook.com/331027363655597/photos/a.331033530321647.74014.331027363655597/753648271393502/?type=1&theaterThere's been a lot of candle light vigils and positive words and reaching out. It won't help Leelah, she's dead and gone. But it might help others who are in the same position.
I am not writing this just for the trans people that might be here, that might feel utterly and completely alone.
I can't know what it is like to experience the dysphoria that comes from having to pretend you are a gender you are not. I hid my sexuality from my parents, and when they got hints, the response was bad, so I know that it can be awful not to be accepted. I just never fully outed myself, though. It was easy for me, being in a long term relationship with a male.
I do know what it is like to feel you are out of solutions, though. I know what it is like to feel that every step you take, every morning you have to drag yourself out of bed, every new day, is successively worse than the last. I know what it is to be out of options. I know what it is like to feel that you can not describe this in words to anyone, and I know what it is like to try and be rejected. I know what it is like to feel truly and utterly alone.
I want you to know a few things. If you are transgender, but also if you are suffering for some other reason. As long as you are living, you are not out of the fight yet. I know that any hope that things might ever get better starts to feel infinitesimally small, a theoretical singularity that threatens to cease to exist if you begin to approach it.
I want to tell you to give it time, that things will get better. That is a promise I can not make though, I can not assure you life won't still be dark and painful. Instead, I want you to know that you matter. Without you, there is one less light in the world to push back the darkness. Collectively, all of us, those of us fighting with the outside world and in our own minds just to keep breathing, we all matter, and we can make things better for each other.
If you have parents or relatives that are hurting you, if you are forced to keep silent about who you are because of them, if you are hurt by them because of who you are, or if they are just doing awful things to you for no reason other than your continued existence, know that there will be a time when you can escape them. I want to tell you that they will come around. That they will see you for the beautiful person you are and love you unconditionally. But that is not always going to be true. If you have to, cut ties with them, it will hurt, but I know from experience that bad family can cause more long term damage than the support of the familial ties themselves.
I want to tell you not to listen to the awful things people say about you, but if something is repeated enough, it burrows into our soul and becomes a part of us. A necrotic wound that is difficult to cut away. Do what you can to remember that those people are not good people, that they want you to suffer, and that you are better than that. There are those of us, maybe people you have yet to meet, maybe some of the people around you, that will fight for you. We want you to keep going, we want things to be better for you. You are not alone.
My life since my attempted suicide hasn't been great. I am crippled emotionally and mentally, but I have found some purpose to eek out in this world that will hopefully mean something. I think it matters, anyway. But getting to that point, attempting to kill myself, it broke me like nothing before it had.
If you need to reach out to someone, if you need help, I've included some numbers at the bottom of the page. While I personally am not trained in any of this, I will listen to your problem, as well. I might not have solutions, but sometimes we just need to talk.
Reach out to others, don't be afraid of rejection. That will happen, but do everything you can to keep going. Fight as long as you possibly can. The world needs you, even if it doesn't feel like it.
You are a beautiful and important person. You mean more than the people who hurt you could ever mean. I wish I could stress this harder and make it clearer. I just want you to know that that is the truth, and you should hold on to it like it is the only thing that matters if need be. You have worth, you mean something.
Trans Lifeline
US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
A word of warning. I have heard that sometimes these suicide prevention hotlines, (not afaik the trans lifeline, which is staffed by trans people who know what it is like, but the regular one,) will have people that will gaslight or trivialize the problems of those they are speaking to. This horrifies me. If you get someone like that, hang up and use another number. Keep reaching out.
Author
Topic: If You Think You're Alone (Read 1523 times)