My legendary clothesmaker just threw a tantrum because his masterwork giant cave spider silk pants were stolen by invisible goblins. Which I guess I can understand, they probably were really nice pants. The thing I don't understand is why he decided to mangle the limbs of one of my legendary craftdwarves and break the legs of my legendary carpenter. What I also don't understand is why the game decided to choose the slowest, stupidest and decidedly most distant fortress guard to make the arrest. I kind of understand why he decided to mangle the upper body and break the lower left leg of another of my farmers, I never liked him either. I can't fully comprehend why the tantrumming dwarf then decided to mangle the lower body of my original metalsmith. I suppose I could deal with that considering that he never made legendary status despite making a rather nice silver ring named Sidavan. Now the next part confuses me greatly, but not as much as what is still to come. I would really like to know why this dwarf that was so outraged over the loss of his fancy pants decided to go out of his way all the way to the infirmary and continue beating the shit out of my legendary carpenter. He now has an almost completely mangled set of limbs and seems to be in a permanent coma. Now my fortress guard was getting close, despite the fact he was taking the longest possible route to get to his target. Unfortunately the clothesmaker dwarf decided to move to the centre of my production area, running straight past the strolling guard where he proceeded to break the arms and torsos of several unimportant dwarves and beat someones pet horse to death. Eventually the guard managed to subdue this insane little bastard and dragged him off to the prison. Now this part is really weird. Apparently I had left the prison door passable for pets, so the imprisoned dwarf's pet cow and pet dog decided to pay him a visit. Rather than being comforted, the dwarf went into another tantrum and beat the living shit out of his pet cow, which has been with him since he arrived at the fortress. I'm really struggling to understand that bit. So now the dwarf is facing a 326 day prison sentence for his crimes against society, which really seems quite lenient considering the extent of his damage.
This has all come out in a jumble because I'm seriously confused about the events.
Now there are a couple of things that I would like an answer to.
1. How on earth did these rat bastard goblin thieves manage to get into my fortress in the first place? I assumed goblins couldn't swim, but supposing they can, does this mean they can bypass locked doors? Or pop out of wells? And supposing that they did pop out of the wells, how did they manage to sneak undetected through the busiest part of the fortress where you would be lucky to have more than one space between dwarves to steal my dwarves treasured possessions? I mean, it really seems absurd.
2. Is this going to happen every time a "masterwork" gets destroyed, stolen or lost? I mean come on, my dwarves pump them out by the second.
3. Why would the furthest away fortress guard be piked to sort out the mess? And why only one? Surely it would make sense for at least 3 of them to try and apprehend the dwarf at fault.
This has kind of killed my enjoyment of this current fortress, seeing 5 of my original 8 dwarves (the metalsmith counts because he dragged an anvil through the wilderness to my fortress all on his lonesome) put out of action because of one pair of disappearing pants. 6 of 8 when you include my legendary miner who recieved a mangled right hand sparring in the barracks.