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Author Topic: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class  (Read 3183 times)

My Urist Eternal

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2014, 07:45:32 am »

I was about to make a lengthy post in the affirmative and then I realized you were just talking about Dwarf Fortress.
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Floppypig

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2014, 08:58:06 am »

I was about to make a lengthy post in the affirmative and then I realized you were just talking about Dwarf Fortress.
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“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Urist McVoyager

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2014, 09:07:13 am »

That guy's mandates are NOT going to be fun to fulfill. Usually hammering's the punishment, not the mandate. Good bye all you worthless cheese makers!
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Salmeuk

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2014, 10:42:55 am »

Dwarf Fortress has no end to it's hilarious situations regarding nobles - to the point that the game itself is a commentary on the ineffectiveness of such concepts as 'Royal Blood' and 'Kingdoms'. Half the nobles you have little use for, and the rest are for the most part tokens being controlled by a more powerful force - You, the player.
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Archereon

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2014, 01:21:11 pm »

Perhaps this guy profaned a temple during post world gen, but hasn't been kicked out of society since mega beast attacks only happen when the player is around in post world gen? Check his legends.
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I want to tell you they were bad men, cephalo.  I want to tell you that with a better overseer the Fortress never would've gotten so bad someone would get offed in a pointless fisticuffs.
But the sad truth charlie?
It was inevitable.

Illogical_Blox

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2014, 02:31:06 pm »

I have a minotaur queen... yeah. Not gonna be fun if she turns up.

"What's your demand, my queen?" "Seven men and seven women, release them into the maze!"
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Me: "Just imagine a load of dwarves sitting round a table, and one of them says, 'I like stranglers for... for their... their...'"
Brother: "SOFT HANDS!"

Uronym

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2014, 05:22:38 pm »

Capture it and create a museum to reveal to the world your proof that the Illuminati controls the government!
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What I think we're saying is we need dwarves to riot and break things more often.

Kolnukbyne

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2014, 08:22:58 pm »

So, an update:

He leapt down upon my trade depot with a mighty roar and subsequently returned to being a naked human. He was chased by two fisherdwarves, a tanner and three tame coyotes until he landed himself in a cage trap where he was kept for a good four months until the human caravan arrived. I decided that I would ransom him back to them (a random caravan finding out about the reptilian conspiracy is sure to spread discontent among their populous!) but as his cage was being hauled he escaped, killing a child and a weaver and was unfortunately struck down by a tamed Cave Crocodile.

My plan may have failed but I WILL let the world know of the reptilian plot.

I'll check out his legends soon, once my current fort dies or something. If that takes too long I'll just copy and retire it.


I have a minotaur queen... yeah. Not gonna be fun if she turns up.

"What's your demand, my queen?" "Seven men and seven women, release them into the maze!"

Your mission is to build a maze before she arrives and prepare as many captives as possible to be given in tribute to her. Feed your monstrous taurant!

kevinfragger2427

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2014, 10:29:33 pm »

Feed your monstrous taurant!

Hee-hee, that's real punny. But seriously, Warcraft 4 confirmed.

I've always wondered what it would be like to have someone other than a dwarf come to your fortress "under your command", like a lizard monarch. How does the game handle that exactly?
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Kolnukbyne

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2014, 03:47:15 am »

So it turns out that Prince Lizard the Lizard'th had a mostly uneventful life. In 184 Sattha was attacked by Kenom Plottrades the Gill of Dust, a werelizard, but was unharmed and uncursed. In 191 he married Tiquo Scarbulb, a miner in Stormtamed. Sattha himself was a beekeeper. In 218 Tiquo moved to Bodyjuggles and became the lady there. It seems however that Sattha did not follow his lady wife to Bodyjuggles and instead, five years later, became the Chieftain of a group known as The Cavernous Caves. Actually, not only was he Chieftain of the group but he was the only person in it. Four years later his band of dashing rogues took up residence in the dungeon 'Mostecho', in the town of Squaretaxes. After eight years brooding in a dungeon over his lack of friends to be Chief over he must have decided that it was his wife's fault for not giving him a child as he profaned a temple dedicated to Uthra the Torches of Competing: Goddess of Pregnancy, Children and Youth. Seeing her temple, The Massive Chapel (Seriously. The entity that presides over it is The Massive Sect.) desecrated by this heathen, Uthra cursed Sattha to take the form of a grotesque lizard-monster every full moon.

Sattha, horrified by this fate and the risk of execution at the hands of the authorities for the creature he had become, fled Squaretaxes. The rest of his life was spent devouring animals and failing to kill people until he fell upon the Dwarven Fortress of Gorgeguards in 254 where he was humiliated, captured and held for a few months before breaking free when he was to be ransomed back to the dwarves' human allies. In his escape he wounded a number of dwarves, killed another two and apparently passed on his curse several times although absolutely no dwarves turned so obviously captivity had weakened the curse-transferring ability of his bite. He bled to death as a result of wounds attributed to Asmel Gatemorning.

So basically he hated being a Beekeeper, ran away only for his wife to later become nobility, shit on a holy artefact and then ate livestock for the rest of his life.


Hee-hee, that's real punny. But seriously, Warcraft 4 confirmed.

98% chance of a Tauren Queen with the way Anduin Wrynn behaves with the Tauren. That'd make things interesting in a potential Warcraft IV unless they decide to disregard the vast majority of WoW to make the canon less of a horrendous clusterfuck that a new game could be made out of.

kevinfragger2427

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #11 on: October 29, 2014, 08:59:35 am »

So basically he hated being a Beekeeper, ran away only for his wife to later become nobility, shit on a holy artefact and then ate livestock for the rest of his life.

Yep, only in Dwarf Fortress. So the game counted him as just another invader, because of his transformation? Weird how none of your dwarves turned. That would be interesting.
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NW_Kohaku, marry me this instant!!!

Kolnukbyne

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Re: Shape-shifting reptilian humanoids are infiltrating the ruling class
« Reply #12 on: October 29, 2014, 11:41:18 pm »

Considering my previous fort had been wiped out due to two were-Gila Monster attacks in as many months which caused about 7 of my poorly equipped military to turn at once I'm really disappointed this fort didn't have similar results; the most dangerous thing I've seen so far has been this guy and he did all of nothing until I screwed up and he escaped.