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[Bromuzl]

Cthulhu's advice is solid. I've always phrased it thus:

Become ok with the concept of being alone for the rest of your life. Practice a little self-love. When you can embrace that concept, the smell of desperation will leave you. You will avoid getting into relationships you regret just for the sake of not being alone, and you will begin to gain some of the self-confidence that is cornerstone of being attractive to the opposite sex.

Okay, so I was browsing this topic while thinking about my own situation, when a thought came to mind. I am ok with being alone, but I am crushing SO hard on this girl. I'm being myself, and going to send her a dorky Facebook message telling her, because I don't have her number and that's who I am; a bit of a form :3

I have a particular interest in dispelling that smell of desperation.. Because though I think she's hella cute and I just want to cuddle her face off, I won't be bothered if she doesnt like me back. Leap in headfirst, risking looking a little desperate, but being me and honest about how adorbs she is? Or just spend time having fun together until I see hints she's interested? Dont want to harm my friendship by coming on desperate looking.

[Bromuzl]

Deets(Her,Me): Turns 21 in October, just turned 24.
Same church.
Plays piano/organ, knows I am self teaching.
Full time student, Preparing to leave for 2 year service mission.
Single for a year now with no apparent suitors, been on one date at start of year.
Grew up here, moved here a year ago.
???, know about a dozen of fun places we could go alone or with friends.
???, been crushing on her all year and its getting stronger.
Not seeing clues, not putting out clues anymore(Also have been told Im bad at hinting?)
Last point is why Im considering a big ":D You're adorbs, wanna hang out?"

[nenjin]

There's a difference between powerful attraction, and the desperate need to be with someone. One just is, the other is a consciously or unconsciously manufactured state of neediness, usually based on your life experiences. You don't really sound like you're desperate. Maybe a little overly enthusiastic though....

Maybe dial it back a notch. That's where your enthusiasm can get mistaken for desperation. Maybe this is just my personal preference, but I don't think charging in like a bouncy ball, going "you wanna go out?!", getting rejected and going "Ok!" and bouncing out is super attractive. Maybe she digs that, maybe not. You basically want to be at a place where you can look her in the eyes, ask her out, and if you get rejected, maintain eye contact and smile in a way that says "I was ok before I asked you out, and I'm ok after being rejected too."

Recognize you're about to bounce out of her life either way soon. I've done the long distance relationship thing. It sucks, and I wouldn't recommend it. ESPECIALLY one where you haven't really gotten to know each other well before you poof. So I'd say go into it looking for fun and nothing else, and see if that's what she's about too. Cause if she wants a full-time boyfriend, yeah, maybe that won't work out so well.

[Bromuzl]

Maybe a little overly enthusiastic though....

I feel I needed to hear that, haha. I didn't exactly envision the approach similar to the bouncing ball you used as a metaphor but the connection clicked. I will be careful for that, and think my method I've planned is appropriate. Also, yeah I thought about the bouncing out either way as well, and am indeed just looking for a fun few months of getting to know her, and will be looking for something more permanent after I return and have time to readjusted to being in the normal world. Scouting a bit for what kind of person I work for I guess, since I am one to believe you get happy on your own, and then seek a relationship to make someone else happy.

Thank you for your reply, it was nice to be able to pensive and hear another's opinion. I might not reply to further comment, but I will read them all and appreciate them. Just being honest, DF2014 and all.

[Jimmy]

Just man up and ask her out.

The Art of Manliness: Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them
The Art of Manliness: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

For example, write your number on a piece of paper, go up to her and say:

"Hey, I've been wondering for awhile if you're interested in going out sometime. I think you're pretty cool and I'd love to get to know you better. If you want to go for a movie or coffee just give me a call and let me know when you're free, okay?"

Then walk away like a boss. If she's interested she'll call you or talk to you next time she sees you. If she doesn't, she's not interested so don't press the issue and move on. But don't use Facebook if you already see this girl other places. It's the wimpy way out. Girls respect a man who is confident enough to look them in the eye and put his pride on the line.

[Bromuzl]

Just man up and ask her out.

NavySealSniperCopyPasta.mov

Got a picture of her favorite food I cooked this morning when I realized I knew it was her favorite, also am known for my cooking. Had more heart thumps. Grab spatula and wrote something cute in the pan upside down, flipped onto plate. Perfect.
Take picture. She's visiting family right now who are normally out of state,don't want to interrupt. Send "Psst! Hey, Urist McRedactedName!" knowing she should check fb tonight or before the dance. Will reply "There's something I want to talk to you about next we meet. You going to the dance?" otherwise Sunday. Send picture. "I've needed to talk to you about this for about a year now. Can I expect to see you there? "

Will gauge her interest based on this, since she seems shy. Should be just the right kind of cute/sweet to make it really obvious what I am getting at. She is the pianist so approaching her would attract attention, which I've seen her shy away from. Can go somewhere less crowded, and have that look in the eye, and confess attraction, have a few places in mind for first date.

If she's like "Nah Urist McBromuzl, cuz x." Then smile and say that's fine too, I have enjoyed her company over the last year and am glad she could hear me out. Offer platonic hug, carry on with my good day.