Stafforded was just another expedition, chosen by the King in the traditional manner*, and seven expendables were sent out with a wagon and a dream, just like last time. The site had a brook, plenty of minerals, and more. The weather was calm, the necromancers comfortably far away, the goblins behind a mountain. Yes indeed, thought Catten Rodersigun, this might actually work this time. The most dangerous things around seemed to be Chinchillas, but they could be avoided**, and the plants seemed to be remarkably plantlike‡.
Rodersigun would have thought that nothing could go wrong, but he knew that would invite disaster. So, as the group reached the site marked out on the map, he thought of some suitable inspiring words to tell his fellow pioneers.
"Right then, lads. And Rovod. Strike the earth! Today we-
What the hell are those Kobolds doing here!?!"
*It involves a map and darts, and a random pick of seven from the census.**The societies that assumed that small animals are harmless are the ones who usually had to deal with an unexpected swarm of angry cats, badgers or, in once case, an enthralled Duck. The Responsible Rope was not one of these societies.† †Though the Rope did tend to have marksmen that shot at anything that moved. A trained Ropian Marksdwarf can hit a sprinting Capybara at a hundred paces. ‡Do not laugh at this until you have seen Wormy Tendrils or Staring Eyeballs. Rodersigun once went to a particularly evil biome, and still has nightmares. Especially since he had a steak from the local Fortresses' livestock before he saw the cows grazing on those things.. . .
"What the soap are those Dwarves doing here!?!" Tolmer shouted. This was not going according to plan!*
Very rarely do Kobolds send out an expedition, unlike Dwarves, who generally send out an expedition twice a week. And, even more unlike the Dwarves, they bring everything they can, rather than two buckets, a camel, a silver battle axe, and every single cat they can shove on the cart.** Kobolds bring hundreds of their own with them, along with countless useless items†, forgetting many that they need†, with the single minded determination to carve out a home, no matter how many cheesemakers they lose.†
In theory, there was a cave here. Tolmir's ancestors mapped out this place themselves, and the map said there was a cave here. Apparently, it either collapsed, or the surveyor was drunk.† In any case, someone needed to figure out who was going to do what here. There could only be one expedition here, and while the dwarves were big, the Kobold combat style, when only equipped with hundreds of their own, was to conscript everyone and then rush at the enemy.†
One of the dwarves was approaching. Perhaps a deal could be struck. Only time could tell. And the bearded ones were hostile, he hoped his countrymen could avenge his death in a massed charge.‡
*A Kobolds plan generally involves grabbing something and running, then hoping the victims did not have any archers nearby. This is also the general plan an Adventurer uses. In this case, they were hoping to steal a large chunk of land.**That may be the point of the 'expeditions', though- considering the usefulness of eight hundred balls of fur and selfishness, the trip may be to just get as many adorable little demons as far away from the Mountainhomes as fast as dwarvenly possible.† Just like the Dwarves.‡ Preferably at, instead of away from, the Dwarves.. . .
Rovod Nishkastar has been very unhappy lately. He was caught in the rain recently. He was forced at crossbow point to go talk to the Kobold mob ahead of him recently. He has complained of the lack of chairs recently.
. . .
Rovod and Tolmer slowly inched forward. Both attempted to hide behind rocks and other large objects. Both avoided the Chinchillas.*
And both shouted "Friendly?" at the same time. And both came to the same conclusion.
'Not hostile' thought Rovod. 'They seem nice enough, and they aren't trying to steal my left socks, so they are fine by me.'
'Not hostile' thought Tolmer. 'They seem to be cowardly, judging by this one, and possibly manipulable. Very much so.'
They stared at one another, for a minute. To Tolmer's credit, he stepped out from his boulder first. Rovod followed suit, and attempted to look as diplomatic as possible**. Tolmer looked Rovod in the eye, no small feat for a race accustomed to running at the sight of bearded psychopaths, and smiled.
Meanwhile, in the mind that belonged to Rovod was racing. He knew 'Friendly' in Koboldish, sure, but he has not spoken the language since College.† So began a conversation that would go down in history as the defining moment of the decade. Rovod opened his mouth and chose his words carefully. After all, this wasn't in his native language. Still, Rovod thought, I should be fine.
"Good Time, Friend Kobold," Spoke the woodcutter, "
I Am Tradeblock Of The Fiber-Based-Tying-Material. I Look For Digging Comrades And Wish To Create A Fortress In The Dirt. Would You Care To Help Scratch Rock?"And thus a legend was born.
*Kobold civilizations avoid small animals because a woodchuck may just be a match for an unarmed Kobold.
** The kind of diplomat that walks around, eating squares of cheese off of toothpicks, and tries not to offend the other ambassadors.
† He majored in Alchemy and minored in Koboldish, then became a woodcutter after he learned that Alchemy is completely useless, and that Koboldish was nearly as stupid.
Good evening, fellow Dwarf Fortress players, I am BorDr, and I began playing this wonderfully complex game a little over three months ago. Now that I have grasped the basic concepts of the game, I have decided to start a fortress. I started it in a nice little biome on a brook, flux stone and plenty of metal.
And Kobolds. Oh god, 248 Kobolds.
But they are all friendly.
So I am wondering:
A: Is this normal?
B: Can I take the stuff around them ?
C: Would this be a good Bloodline game, one in which you have to build an aboveground bit for the Kobolds, and a belowground bit for the dwarves?
D: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
E: Will they ever turn hostile?
This is the most interesting embark I have ever had. Possibly the most fun laden if the midden hits the windmill. So, what do you think, and how can I make a Kobold powered magma cannon with this?
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Topic: Stafforded: A Kobold-Dwarf Cooperative Fort (Read 2004 times)