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Author Topic: My current problem(s).  (Read 1766 times)

Tiruin

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2014, 06:55:16 am »

...You could talk to them about it.
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Dutchling

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2014, 07:40:02 am »

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Projeck37

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2014, 01:56:16 am »

I've been... Reluctant to give this an update for awhile. Perhaps just so I could leave the past in the past. Regardless, I might as well tell you all what occurred.

So I decided to keep my feelings to myself in an attempt to make my relationship better overall. Well, that was the plan at least. It turned into her being suspicious towards me, and when I decided that I better talk to her about the friend and be open and honest, she became angry. She spread lies of me cheating on her and that I was a controlling douchebag. Most of said lies were told to my friends, who... Believed her, for the most part. It severed almost all of my social ties I had spent years building with my peers. Weeks after this, I addressed the friend about my feelings for her, only to come out denied, and deeply saddened internally. And... That's about it. I remain in that state, the last part happening less than a week ago.

I thank you all for the help.
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Tiruin

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2014, 02:27:26 am »

...But none of those are true.
Your friends believed that over who you really are? :/
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Jelle

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2014, 03:34:58 am »

Good! Now that these social relations have been exposed for what they truly are, you can turn your attention to more meaningful things! Perhaps even find friends who are more then a sorry collection of lies and shallow egos. Really if your friends abandon you because a single person discredits you it is no big loss.

Just don't let it get you down. This is an oppertunity to forge new relations if there are any to be had, and if not at least it makes you a better person to understand the fickle nature of social hierarchies.
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Tiruin

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2014, 03:56:30 am »

^


Along with that--be the better person. There's a time for sadness and there's a time for moving forward. Given time, she'll either know what she did was...totally wrong, or not.
You've done your part, or as far as I can see, done your best to explain everything.
If..if it'd help, talk to someone you trust on the matter. Your parents or a sibling, perhaps?
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Yoink

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2014, 03:59:08 am »

Sympathies, man.
But yeah, as Jelle said, those were obviously pretty shitty friends if they just abandoned you like that, over a rumour.
A friend had a situation like that once, where half of his social circle just completely shunned him over a romance-related misunderstanding. He got past it, he's made plenty of new friends. :) Not such a big deal.
Good luck finding some better people to share friendship with. They're always out there!
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Pnx

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Re: My current problem(s).
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2014, 12:21:13 am »

So I decided to keep my feelings to myself in an attempt to make my relationship better overall. Well, that was the plan at least. It turned into her being suspicious towards me, and when I decided that I better talk to her about the friend and be open and honest, she became angry. She spread lies of me cheating on her and that I was a controlling douchebag. Most of said lies were told to my friends, who... Believed her, for the most part. It severed almost all of my social ties I had spent years building with my peers.

Unfortunately in Pnx-land this sort of thing is apparently very common. Stuff kind of like that has happened to me more than once, and has happened to people I know as well.

The first and possibly the last person I fell in love with did something kind of like this.

I had all my friends pressured into not being friends with me, I was lied to, manipulated, and generally subject to a lot of vindictive things. I also suspect she told lies about me behind my back as well, though I'm not precisely sure about that (there was a few times I had someone say to me they'd heard something that was completely untrue from her, but each of these times it was apparently some form of miscommunication and she'd never said that at all? She was apparently very good at miscommunicating).

For a long time I basically accepted full responsibility for this. Because the other half of the story was that I genuinely was a douche towards her, albeit because I wanted to push her away from me due to suicidal emotional issues. And that if I hadn't done those things, I wouldn't be dealing with these emotionally abusive antics... The thing I eventually came to terms with however is that no matter what I did, I didn't deserve to be treated the way I was treated.

I'm not sure what the point of this little rant is supposed to be... but sometimes people find it helps to hear other people's problems too. Hope things start looking up for you soon.
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