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[Don Blake]

So, I just thought I'd share a little story about how Dwarven Justice, and how it can go horribly wrong.

A fairly new fort, I hadn't gotten around to appointing a Captain of the Guard yet.  When a legendary miner, one of the original seven Founders, was found drained of all his blood in his bedroom, I drafted an experienced Axedwarf, Tun Tandeduk Shed Id, to deal with the matter.  Examining the crime turned up one witness, who despite claiming to witness the crime, had not spoken up until it was discovered, weeks later.  Further examination of this witness revealed that she had lived in dozens of Fortresses and towns, and despite the list of relatives, none had accompanied her to the fort.

"Aha," said I the Dwarven Courts.  "I've found my vampire!"

And then the Dwarven Courts accidentally selected the innocent fish dissector she had accused.

And then, since I didn't have any cages or chains, having expected this to end in a vampire hunt, Tun Tandeduk decided to dispense some old fashioned frontier justice, in the form of a beating.  With the edge of her axe.

Panicking over the accidental death of the criminal, Tun Tandeduk cast about for some way to avoid blame.  She struck upon the idea of accusing that punk one-year old, Asmel Zefonthedak.  The Dwarven Courts were suspicious as to this course of events, but reluctant to prosecute a heroic warrior who had until recently been proudly serving her Fortress, fending off Kobolds, Goblin Kidnappers, and wild beasts.

They thought this might the perfect opportunity to deal with their vampire problem, instead convicting Tossid Cattenuthmik, AKA Nish Rocklesson, the suspected vampire.  Again, no cages available, and Nish was introduced to the sharp edge of Tun's axe.

But because Nish had never been found guilty of vampirisim, her crime hadn't actually merited a death sentence, and Tun once again panicked and blamed Asmel Zefonthedak.  Who, again, is barely a year old.  (It's unclear where this grudge came from).  Worse yet, as Tun was quietly shuffled back into the military, and a less axe-happy dwarf appointed as Captain of the Guard, another dwarven witness came forward to accuse Tun of Tossid's murder.  Efforts to hush up this crime are underway.

Oh, did I mention throughout all this, Tun has been married to the current mayor?

[wierd]

The obvious solution is to provide a wifflebat to the new hammerer/sherrif, and allow the chinese tickletorture to commence.

Once punishment has been enacted, the criminal record will be closed.

However, I wonder why the criminal justice system considers death by beating as murder, when the punishment enacted is in response to being convicted of murder; which under dwarven ethics says the penalty is capital punishment (eg, execution.)

You would think that the fortress would actally have felt justice had been served by the death of the vampire, since in a round-about way, it really *was* responsible for the fish dissector's death.

(It accused the fish dissector, who was then wrongly punished. The resulting death was then indeed the consequence of that lie, so when the fish dissector's death was investigated, calling the vampire to task really is true justice, not only for the direct victims of the vampiric feeding, but also for the family of the innocent fish dissector.)

To me, that just leaves the old sherrif guilty of a lesser crime: Incompetence. Being expelled from office and feather-flogged sounds like a reasonable punishment.

But-- dwarves. Who knows!