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Author Topic: Atom-smashing  (Read 1378 times)

Icefire2314

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Atom-smashing
« on: September 15, 2013, 10:37:24 pm »

Share your awesome or awkward atom-smashing tales here.

A group of elven merchants stop by to trade. The caravan is coming down the hill to my drawbridge right as my mechanic finished attaching it to the lever, then goes and pulls it. He pulls up to the edge of the now up drawbridge right as I give the order to bring it back down. The wagon vanishes completely and the elves go fleeing in horror. Literally, they abandoned everything at the depot. Now I'm waiting for the siege.
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"ERUTH PULL THE DAMN LEVER THE ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO GET INSIDE!"
"zzz"
BAY 12 MINI CITY: http://bay-12.myminicity.com/

Merendel

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2013, 11:29:57 pm »

Well one time I had an excessive undead infestation on the surface.  reanimating biom so just killing them agian wouldnt solve anything.  My solution? 10 bridges in a zig zag hallway attached to a lever on repeat.   Got everything all setup.  pierced a hole to the surface and had my miner retreat back.  Once he was out of the killzone I set the lever on repeat and cackled in glee as the undead swarmed inside and got atomsmashed... and then cried out in horor as half my hauler force dashed into the kill zone to retrieve something on the surface.  final tally 100 undead smooshed, 20 dwarves analiated, and the lesson learnd to turn on the civ alert befor activating a trap thats capable of friendly fire.
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blue sam3

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2013, 08:31:05 am »

Nah, the elves won't attack you for murdering one little trade delegation. They'll probably send you better stuff next year (since their definition of "good" is screwy as hell - they value cloth more than caged exotic beasts when it comes to deciding what to bring).
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Icefire2314

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2013, 10:17:45 am »

Their definition of good usually involves their wood monopoly from my experience :P
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"ERUTH PULL THE DAMN LEVER THE ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO GET INSIDE!"
"zzz"
BAY 12 MINI CITY: http://bay-12.myminicity.com/

wierd

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2013, 11:25:55 am »

I have the medical history of one Urist C. Catlady.

Prior to this, I had never used atom smashing, as I considered it an exploit, and not really legitimate gameplay. Urist however... 

She was the prickly thorn in my side. The fortress had suffered a few bad events, but was weathering out the storm at "Content" and "Fine".  Urist was everyone's friend. Apparently, a complete, and total busybody despite being on near 24/7 duty doing pretty much any job I could chuck at her. She was a migrant, and despite my strict "Only male cats allowed" rules, she dared to sneak a female cat into the fortress with her when she arrived. Reading the fine print was it seemed, not something she cared for when filling out the immigration forms. Being a pet, I couldn't immediately slaughter the vile creature (and at the time, this was when all the bad events were occurring) so it went UNDETECTED and UNTREATED.  Naturally, it made sweet spore love with who knows how many of the male stockpile guardians I had permitted to remain, and by the time I managed to get things back to "Content" and "Fine", Urist's cat had exploded, Not once, but close to 5 times, with its horrible progeny also exploding a few times in the meanwhile.

Being the only dwarf in the fortress susceptible to kitty cat mind control, Urist quickly became their slave in their diabolical plot to overthrow the fortress, and had no less than SIXTY cats attached to her poor addled brains by the time I could deal with the issue.  Again, the fortress was teetering on the brink of a tantrum spiral, Urist McCatlady was a busybody from hell, who was friends with everyone, and was the mindthrall of SIXTY cats, of mixed genders. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. She plugged up the hallways with her teeming morass of feline flesh everywhere she went. It replicated like a cancer every few months. AND, it was a ticking timebomb before some of her "babies" started dying from any number of other causes, initiating the tantrum spiral.

I refused to let this happen, so I intervened.  I created a 3x3 bridge to nowhere, surrounded by a perimeter wall, and roofed over. It had a floodgate door, and inside I placed a pen/pasture zone.

Kitties went in, about 5 or six at a time, and blessed relief came out the other.  Of the 60 mindflayers, Urist felt the deaths of only 5. I had her placed in a special ward, filled with beautiful dwarven architectural wonders, and the finest booze. It took 2 dwarven years to purge her of her affliction, but in the end, both she and the fortress were saved.

The dwarven atom-smasher truly is a modern miracle machine.

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derpindave

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2013, 11:50:51 am »

I have the medical history of one Urist C. Catlady.

Prior to this, I had never used atom smashing, as I considered it an exploit, and not really legitimate gameplay. Urist however... 

She was the prickly thorn in my side. The fortress had suffered a few bad events, but was weathering out the storm at "Content" and "Fine".  Urist was everyone's friend. Apparently, a complete, and total busybody despite being on near 24/7 duty doing pretty much any job I could chuck at her. She was a migrant, and despite my strict "Only male cats allowed" rules, she dared to sneak a female cat into the fortress with her when she arrived. Reading the fine print was it seemed, not something she cared for when filling out the immigration forms. Being a pet, I couldn't immediately slaughter the vile creature (and at the time, this was when all the bad events were occurring) so it went UNDETECTED and UNTREATED.  Naturally, it made sweet spore love with who knows how many of the male stockpile guardians I had permitted to remain, and by the time I managed to get things back to "Content" and "Fine", Urist's cat had exploded, Not once, but close to 5 times, with its horrible progeny also exploding a few times in the meanwhile.

Being the only dwarf in the fortress susceptible to kitty cat mind control, Urist quickly became their slave in their diabolical plot to overthrow the fortress, and had no less than SIXTY cats attached to her poor addled brains by the time I could deal with the issue.  Again, the fortress was teetering on the brink of a tantrum spiral, Urist McCatlady was a busybody from hell, who was friends with everyone, and was the mindthrall of SIXTY cats, of mixed genders. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. She plugged up the hallways with her teeming morass of feline flesh everywhere she went. It replicated like a cancer every few months. AND, it was a ticking timebomb before some of her "babies" started dying from any number of other causes, initiating the tantrum spiral.

I refused to let this happen, so I intervened.  I created a 3x3 bridge to nowhere, surrounded by a perimeter wall, and roofed over. It had a floodgate door, and inside I placed a pen/pasture zone.

Kitties went in, about 5 or six at a time, and blessed relief came out the other.  Of the 60 mindflayers, Urist felt the deaths of only 5. I had her placed in a special ward, filled with beautiful dwarven architectural wonders, and the finest booze. It took 2 dwarven years to purge her of her affliction, but in the end, both she and the fortress were saved.

The dwarven atom-smasher truly is a modern miracle machine.

When I read "and blessed relief came out the other" I spit up my coffee at work. Thanks.
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Icefire2314

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2013, 08:45:07 pm »

I have the medical history of one Urist C. Catlady.

Prior to this, I had never used atom smashing, as I considered it an exploit, and not really legitimate gameplay. Urist however... 

She was the prickly thorn in my side. The fortress had suffered a few bad events, but was weathering out the storm at "Content" and "Fine".  Urist was everyone's friend. Apparently, a complete, and total busybody despite being on near 24/7 duty doing pretty much any job I could chuck at her. She was a migrant, and despite my strict "Only male cats allowed" rules, she dared to sneak a female cat into the fortress with her when she arrived. Reading the fine print was it seemed, not something she cared for when filling out the immigration forms. Being a pet, I couldn't immediately slaughter the vile creature (and at the time, this was when all the bad events were occurring) so it went UNDETECTED and UNTREATED.  Naturally, it made sweet spore love with who knows how many of the male stockpile guardians I had permitted to remain, and by the time I managed to get things back to "Content" and "Fine", Urist's cat had exploded, Not once, but close to 5 times, with its horrible progeny also exploding a few times in the meanwhile.

Being the only dwarf in the fortress susceptible to kitty cat mind control, Urist quickly became their slave in their diabolical plot to overthrow the fortress, and had no less than SIXTY cats attached to her poor addled brains by the time I could deal with the issue.  Again, the fortress was teetering on the brink of a tantrum spiral, Urist McCatlady was a busybody from hell, who was friends with everyone, and was the mindthrall of SIXTY cats, of mixed genders. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. She plugged up the hallways with her teeming morass of feline flesh everywhere she went. It replicated like a cancer every few months. AND, it was a ticking timebomb before some of her "babies" started dying from any number of other causes, initiating the tantrum spiral.

I refused to let this happen, so I intervened.  I created a 3x3 bridge to nowhere, surrounded by a perimeter wall, and roofed over. It had a floodgate door, and inside I placed a pen/pasture zone.

Kitties went in, about 5 or six at a time, and blessed relief came out the other.  Of the 60 mindflayers, Urist felt the deaths of only 5. I had her placed in a special ward, filled with beautiful dwarven architectural wonders, and the finest booze. It took 2 dwarven years to purge her of her affliction, but in the end, both she and the fortress were saved.

The dwarven atom-smasher truly is a modern miracle machine.

I feel like catsplosion doesn't quite embrace the full nature of this story.. how about catastrophe :P *ba dum tss*
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"ERUTH PULL THE DAMN LEVER THE ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO GET INSIDE!"
"zzz"
BAY 12 MINI CITY: http://bay-12.myminicity.com/

Merendel

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2013, 11:53:10 pm »

I feel like catsplosion doesn't quite embrace the full nature of this story.. how about catastrophe :P *ba dum tss*
At least the atomsmasher managed to end the awful caterwauling that was keeping the other dwarves up at night  :P
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Ionizer

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Re: Atom-smashing
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2013, 09:45:42 am »

I had created the second-to-last line of defense of fortress (the final line of defense was a string of weapon traps with 10 serrated iron disks in them, each) that consisted of a line of pressure plates set to drop a 10-tile wide drawbridge onto anything that got past my plethora of cage traps.  Cue Goblin siege 75-ish strong, including 8 cave dragons (Note: My world was only 250 years old, so the dragons weren't fully grown and could theoretically be smashed).  My cage traps hadn't been fully replenished since the last attack, so more than 50 invaders got through the initial defenses, including 4 dragons.  The dragons moved too fast (and/or somehow didn't trigger the pressure plates, since I made sure that anything too big to be smashed wouldn't trigger them) to be smashed and all but one got shredded by the saw blade traps (the one that got through got into my main hall before an axe dwarf crippled it and chopped at its head for 3 pages worth of combat before the dragon bled to death).

Through a combination of crossbow fire, Ballista bolts and smashy goodness, the siege dwindled to about half a dozen goblins who refused to advance into any death zones, but didn't retreat either.  I had about 10 military dwarves left, with 3 melee dwarves in the bunch.  I ordered the military to kill the final goblins, and a with a mighty roar the last three axe dwarves charged forward.  The goblins met the charge, advancing over the pressure plates...leading to the unceremonious end of my axedwarves as they were erased from existence (the lead goblin was literally one tile away from being smashed with them, but ended up walking right over the bridge into the saw blades instead).  But the goblins were back in range of my markdwarves, who quickly finished the job.

I just imagine the three dwarfs screaming a badass warcry and charging forward before... :FWANG!!: ...immediately being smashed into oblivion, with some snarky marksdwarf saying something along the lines of "Well, that didn't work..." before shooting the goblins to death from safety.
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