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[Timeless Bob]

Greetings, colleagues and gentledwarves.  For your edification and as a subject of further discourse, I have made a study of our glorious race and written this short essay.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Professor Urist McPedantic hard at work

The Five Stages of the Dwarven Lifespan

     A typical dwarf has five major stages in the course of its life:
          Stage 1) Pest (Commonly called a "baby"): Often the act of marriage will cause knots to
                       form in some beards.  These knots will develop into hardened nodules of flesh that will
                       eventually become heavy enough to rip themselves from their "mother's" faces.  The 
                       extreme shock and embarrassment of becoming so suddenly beardless will often
                       distract the affected dwarf from their duties.  Dwarves so affected may attempt to hide
                       their disfigurement by holding the squirming mass of former beard in place next to
                       their chins.  However, the relief of being able to regrow a freely flowing beard to be
                       properly combed and braided often results in great pleasure for both the newly bearded
                       and their spouse.  The pest lives off of its host by manipulating its natural instinct
                       for hoarding to include it as great treasure.  Often the affected remain quite distracted,
                       muttering "My precious..." to themselves while gazing greedily at the knobby, knotted
                       result of their terrible unbearding.

          Stage 2) Parasite (Commonly called a "Child"): If the pest survives it's first larval stage, it will
                       eventually develop into an organism resembling a miniature dwarf.  In this feral stage,
                       this proto-peon will enlarge its parasitic focus from its progenitor to the surrounding
                       society in general.  It will greedily eat and drink copiously while using its newly
                       developed form's autonomy to wander here and there exploring its surroundings and
                       interacting with others of its developmental stage or later to establish a
                       "pecking order". A parasite's ability to cause itself to be treasured by sentient beings
                       increases a hundredfold in this form.  While this allows the parasites to have the run of
                       the local environment and "do as it pleases", it will often draw goblins and other
                       weak-willed races to a dwarven outpost, trying to steal such glittering treasure. 
                       Often, parasites who manage to be stolen, will be revered by these savages for their
                       obvious superiority, becoming their leaders or generals.

          Stage 3) Peon (Commonly known as "Peasant"):  Parasites who have survived their feral
                       parasitic stage experience a sudden increase of volume and mass but lose the ability to
                       charm surrounding minds into believing them to be at all special.  Peons form the
                       backbone of dwarven society, doing all of the unskilled labour necessary to keeping
                       dwarven civilization running.  At this stage, "kidnapped" peons will insinuate
                       themselves into their new societies first as slaves then soon after, as citizens. As these
                       Peons mature, however, they will differentiate into various skill-sets based on the
                       needs of the society they are serving.  However, Peons also tend to congregate in
                       groups and "Parties" practicing strategies of dominance and popularity amongst
                       themselves.  It is also at this stage, and those others further, that new Pests may
                       begin forming in the carefully braided facial locks.

          Stage 4: Professional (Commonly known by the profession's title such as "Cheese Maker"): If a
                       Peon matures enough, they will eventually become a Professional.  Professionals
                       specialize in one or another aspect of Dwarven society, practicing and learning this
                       aspect until they are quite adept at it.  The social life of the Professionals continue from
                       their Peon Stage, often at an accelerated tempo.  It is this social "peer pressure" that
                       facilitates the final stage of a select few Professionals.

          Stage 5: Politician (Commonly known as a "Nobles"): The rare Professional whose winning social
                       strategies cause it to develop into a Politician, becomes one of the upper echelon in
                       Dwarven society.  These nobles greatly affect the histories of the their populations, for
                       both good and ill.  Politicians are Professionals who have relearned the ability to cause
                       others to treasure them, as they did so easily in the Parasite Stage.  Politicians drive
                       the economy of the Dwarven species, challenging their Professionals by requesting ever
                       more elaborate structures and items, and inordinately keeping the those who survive fit
                       to drop beards themselves one day.  It is largely the demands of Politicians that keep
                       the Dwarven race from digging themselves into one place and stagnating as a species.

[zubb2]

Real interesting.

About the nobles, I think you may be right.

Without nobles to hate/adore the dwarves would only have everything else to fight.

The nobles keep the dwarves on their toes even in peace.

[Timeless Bob]

I'd be interested to read what you guys think of the inherently parasitical nature of dwarves.  Does this seem basically accurate to you as well?